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Bored and anxious but always procrastinating?


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Didn’t think my first thread on here would be in the self-improvement category buuut my current dating situation has caused me to be more self-reflective instead.

And I’ve realised something. To the outside world I seem to be doing pretty good - I’m doing well at my job, going out on dates and socialising with new people...things that are mini achievements for me.

 

But when I’m not presenting myself to the rest of the world, when I’ve got free time and am on my own, I actually really don’t have my act together.

I get stuck in this loop where I feel bored, the day feels kinda aimless etc but it’s not relaxing in the least. I struggle to take care of myself a lot of the time - place is an absolute mess, totally disorganised for MONTHS now. I’m lucky if I manage to take care of laundry/personal hygiene some days (kinda gross, I know). There’s always things I could be doing to make my life better for myself, but I can never find the drive to actually do them. I’d rather hide away (I often end up napping to pass the time and avoid facing it).

Sometimes when I feel bored and alone, instead of finding the energy and courage to do something...my mind will focus on my next date, or next dinner out with friends, or my next shift at work, all the things I’ve actually been working on. I become obsessed with just thinking of the details of how nervous these new things make me, how I should act, what I should say...all completely hypothetically in my head. Often it spirals into a period of doubt and low self-esteem.

 

Basically I’m not doing myself any favours and would love to hear other people’s experiences battling procrastination/anxiety/avoidance etc etc?

It’s a big problem for me lately!

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I have the same problems.

 

I have success at different times with the following:

 

1. Baby steps. Just tackling one project -- clean the bathroom; do some laundry; go through & sort piles of mail etc.

 

2. Doing the big job that you hate / dread 1st so it's out of the way.

 

3. Doing the small things because you can. This helps me more with work when I'm feeling overwhelmed. If I just do the easy stuff at least something got done & I gain confidence to do the hard stuff.

 

4. Hiring somebody to come clean or if it's really bad do a clean out / professional organizer. I did this with my parents in a borderline hoarding situation & it really helped so I did it for myself to deal with the garage & basement.

 

5. Just do what you can as much as you can when you do feel motivated. Use that energy

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Basically I’m not doing myself any favours and would love to hear other people’s experiences battling procrastination/anxiety/avoidance etc etc? It’s a big problem for me lately!

 

I find that if I don't stay on a regular regimen of physical exercise, I have have many of the same symptoms. Missed days or weeks leave me leaden, unfocused and unwilling to take on tasks.

 

So I try to win the first battle of each day - get my butt out of bed and into the gym, on my bike or on the court. The chemicals my brain releases during exercise seem to reset my thinking for the rest of the day.

 

Tackling an entire list of tasks, needs and to-do items can be daunting. Getting up and beginning by walking around the block is fairly simple by comparison. Give it a try...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Hi Matcha, thanks for sharing.

 

A couple of things spring to mind right away. It sounds as if there are at least two things going on here. First is imposter syndrome (originally found in feminist literature but it turns out that it actually happens to both sexes pretty much equally), second is the procrastination.

 

Imposter syndrome is very very common. In fact, I would dare to suggest that pretty much everyone feels what you're feeling to at least a degree. Goodness knows I have. The article I linked is somewhat feminist in nature but if you can let that slide you'll find some interesting things in there on it and how to beat it.

 

Secondly is the procrastination thing. Probably the best suggestion I can make on this is to invest 6 minutes into this speech:

.

 

And the speech doesn't come from some Instagram lifestyle guru. It comes from US Navy Admiral, William H. McRaven. His bio is worth a read. He was the one that headed up the operation to find and eliminate Osama bin Laden. (Note: he's also one of those military commanders {now retired} that insisted that trump revoke his security clearance in protest of trump revoking security clearances of those who didn't agree with him.)

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