Nesiha Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I need to rant so much about this. Sigh... We're two women... we've known each other for 20 years and we kinda still stick. She's not malicious or anything, she only has low self esteem (which I also do, but it manifests in different ways). In the last few years it's gotten WEIRD with her, she has elevated herself on some kind of pedestal. She's making me feel inadequate, which I want to fix. She is extremely self-obsessed. Posts dramatic selfies every day. Believes a man is only worth her precious time if he's rich, muscular, pays for everything, takes her on vacations, treats her like a queen, etc. And some of them do - good for her! But every woman who doesn't have her standards, she treats condescendingly in a very subtle way. It makes me feel bad. I've never asked for any of those things from a man I've dated and she constantly implies that I don't know my worth, that I'm settling for crumbs, etc. For example, one of our conversations: Her: So this guy has been pestering me for a date for months! I finally agreed and I went out to dinner with him. Then, in the first 30 minutes of talking I hear he's a freelancer. A FREELANCER! Me: What's so bad about that? My boyfriend is also a freelancer. Her: Well... Yeah but you know me. I can't take a man with that level of financial instability. What if we have a family? I have needs and I can't waste my time with such people. Literally, every time I hear her open her mouth, I think... "Who the hell do you think you are?" and I wish she was a little bit more humble. It drives me crazy, more so because I'd really could use some extra "sprinkles" in my own relationship, but definitely not that level of gold-digging delusion. I understand it's my own insecurities talking, and I am probably jealous that she sometimes gets a five star treatment. But isn't it there a way to stop feeling less of a person because I don't have impossible high-life standards? Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Why are you still friends with her? If she consistently makes you feel bad, if she says things that make you doubt your worth, you need to stop spending time with her. Stop communicating with her. Don't hang on to relationships of any kind out of habit. I would have a really hard time respecting her as a person just in general. Who needs that? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 You're a better woman than me. If forced to stay in her company, I would have given her a mouthful by now. Ditch her. And if she asks why, tell you that you are not OK with her new judgemental self. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 I understand it's my own insecurities talking, and I am probably jealous that she sometimes gets a five star treatment. But isn't it there a way to stop feeling less of a person because I don't have impossible high-life standards? Why does someone painting themselves as a snob, hypocrite and gold-digger make YOU feel bad? I'd get if you were sad for her over the desperation and obvious insecurity, but it escapes me how this reflects on you. Just be glad you don't wear this needy chip on your shoulder... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 I couldn't keep my mouth shut under those circumstances, I'd be telling her that EVERYONE, man, woman, married, single should be capable of providing for themselves, and I'd hate to be so dependant to have to be gold-digging and assuming a partner is going to provide a lifestyle for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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