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Confidence Cheat Tip


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Old 5th September 2018, 2:39 AM   #1
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Confidence Cheat Tip

Hi all, I have a tip to share with other shy, introverted people who want more confidence. Self improvement is awesome, but isn't there something terribly appealing about a quick fix?

The quick fix is an update to personal appearance. Detail is below.

About a month ago I replaced my glasses with something colorful and trendy. I love these glasses and have received several compliments. One person said I looked younger. Another person who knows me very well was shocked at the change, saying something like, "That's totally not something you'd normally pick." I felt more confident.

A week ago I took the idea to the next level. I'm incredibly frugal, and typically wear plain, cheap clothes. ($10 turtlenecks, $3 t-shirts, $13 jeans, $20 shoes, no belt.) Taking the glasses idea and running with it, and in preparation for a date I hoped would materialize, I hired a personal stylist. He's a man in his early 20s who studied in France, and has focused his life on fashion. He took me shopping, and after four hours I had a couple sets of date approved clothes at $700 (plus his fee). I didn't realize jeans could even cost $100. He also picked clothes which would show my body, and not hide it (showing skin and being of a snug fit). The clothes seemed too good for me, but when I was on the date, I knew I looked GOOD! I felt incredibly confident, which led to me making no mistakes I could identify...and I totally cheated to get the confidence.

So there you have it. It's cheating, but it could work for you too.

Do you have your own story like this? Have you had a confidence boost from a major change in appearance? I'd love to hear about it.
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Old 5th September 2018, 3:59 AM   #2
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Good for you shydad! Knowing we look good can add a huge boost of confidence. I even find that on days when I feel a bit 'meh' that a smart outfit and a bit of makeup can boost my mood a lot. And yes, male clothes which look sharp do cost more....but the confidence from looking good makes it worth the money.

I suspect that a number of the guys who struggle getting dates could do with a makeover just as you've done.
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Old 7th September 2018, 2:25 AM   #3
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So there you have it. It's cheating, but it could work for you too.
Sounds more like successful strategy to me, well done. Few things are worse as a guy than to get locked into a look when you're young and refuse to update as you get older - the 50-year guy with the rocker ponytail being the perfect example. Enjoy your new look, and new attitude...

Mr. Lucky
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Old 7th September 2018, 4:12 AM   #4
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Do you have your own story like this? Have you had a confidence boost from a major change in appearance? I'd love to hear about it.
Good on you!

Its not a cheat, its a road to a better you.

I absolutely relate to your story. For the greater part of my life, at the young end, I shopped at the equivalent of Walmart. The only variation was every couple of years or so I would go and buy something truly 'nice', but you can't succeed doing things piecemeal like this. A nice sportscoat just doesn't fit together with your worn out $20 jeans and plastic 5$ sneakers.

If you're not naturally inclined, get help, as Shydad did. Its the way forward. The advice you get totally goes against the grain, seems crazy, but if you are prepared to take the leap of faith it can reap huge, huge rewards.

The problem for me, immediately after my first introduction to a 'makeover' was feeling comfortable in the new threads ... now however, as with the OP, I wear clothes that actually fit me and my body type... that flow naturally with each other.

My shoes are usually leather and are shiny, keep em clean , get a haircut every four weeks including eyebrows and ears (hey! I'm 51 ... men of my age know what I'm talking about .. hehehehe)

I wear jackets, not pullovers and pants with a belt. Yes, sure, I'm a product of my age, but it fits, it works together, and doesn't come across as a 50yo guy pretending that he's 20.

I go to the gym and try hard to keep the mid life bulge under some sort of control. This in turn makes my clothes fit even better.

Guys, I cannot agree with Shydad more on this subject. Do it! It might be the single most important thing you do. Your confidence is projected out into the world and, for me at least, the world started treating me a whole lot better. It wasn't "them" after all ... it was "me" (big grin)

Clean, smart, fit (as you can be) - the girls notice, they really do ... frankly, so do the men
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Old 7th September 2018, 5:33 PM   #5
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I hired a personal stylist. He's a man in his early 20s who studied in France, and has focused his life on fashion. He took me shopping, and after four hours I had a couple sets of date approved clothes at $700 (plus his fee).
I have a single BIL on whom we've long discussed doing a fashion "intervention". No luck with women even though he's not a bad-looking guy (could lose a few pounds) but he dresses like a color-blind homeless person.

Out of curiosity, how did you find the personal stylist? Was his fee a percentage of the spend? Did he advise you on grooming, etc.?

Mr. Lucky
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Old 7th September 2018, 11:58 PM   #6
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Out of curiosity, how did you find the personal stylist? Was his fee a percentage of the spend? Did he advise you on grooming, etc.?
Hi Mr. Lucky, a few months back I had searched and found two who charged a ridiculous amount: about $600 for one hour of closet organizing, or shopping, as far as I can remember. I gave up, but a couple weeks ago I stumbled across a stack of this man's business cards at a coffee shop. No, his fee was not a percentage, but rather, a flat fee for closet organizing, and a flat fee for shopping. I forget the amount of each (one was supposed to be $80 and the other $120 I think), but he spent four hours with me and charged $200. (He wanted to spend more time too, but I was exhausted.) He did not advise on grooming, but I'm sure he would have, had I asked.

Basically this guy fell into my lap exactly when I needed him, when I wasn't looking.
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Old 8th September 2018, 12:49 AM   #7
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(He wanted to spend more time too, but I was exhausted.)
This made me laugh, my wife says I'm a wimp when it comes to shopping. She doesn't understand how I can play 3 sets of tennis but I'm tired and my feet hurt after an hour of traipsing through the mall. She might be on to me .

Thanks for the info, will keep my eyes open...

Mr. Lucky
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Old 9th September 2018, 1:08 PM   #8
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Hi,

when I read the title, I understood Confidence Cheap Tip and I think this would be better suiting

This sure does help, but only for limited time, like a few weeks at best. And you cannot improve small accessories and junk forever.

If I might suggest, smt. that lasts for ever and ever is building a real qualities. Like...improving your physique or being good at smt. and letting people recognize it on you... Feels much better.

But sadly, I must say most efficient is always just.... bodybuilding. 6 months in gym is equal to 3 years in any other sport, when it comes to confidence. People cannot see if you are excellent football player, but they will see your "guns"

...so it is cheap too...
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