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My Crazy Theory


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Old 22nd December 2017, 10:26 AM   #1
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My Crazy Theory

So here goes my crazy theory. I have been doing some soul searching lately. I grew up in a single family household. My mother raised me.

Long story short.. basically my real father was banging two women at the same time and impregnated both at the same time and when push came to shove 7 or 8 months later, he wound up choosing the other women (my step mother whom I haven't seen in 30 years) because her family was slightly better off and my grandparents on my fathers side pushed him in that direction to make that choice. But who knows, this is all my mothers side of the story .. maybe he really loved my step mother more. Who knows. Who cares are this point. Bottom line.. I was raised by a single mother.

I have been wondering why I can't have purely physical relationships and always seem to get emotionally attached. Could it be because I inherited feminine psychological characteristics because I was raised by a single mother?

I have never had or been able to have one night stands.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 10:34 AM   #2
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Well, some women have one night stands and some men raised in a nuclear family aren't into them so I don't know about that theory - maybe it's just your personal preference?
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Old 22nd December 2017, 11:50 AM   #3
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Sex isn't that black and white.

There are plenty of women who prefer ONS or who have commitment issues.

I don't think you can box things up quite so easily.

That being said, your experience being raised by a single mother whose husband cheated on her and left her for the other woman, may have impacted how you view relationships and sex.

Then again, there are lots of boys raised in similar households who grow up to be raging players sticking their d*cks in anything that moves without a second thought.

Some people just aren't comfortable doing the NSA thing. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them like some wire got cut or a screw got loose. It is what it is.

Does the fact that you can't entertain NSA encounters bother you? Do you see it as some kind of flaw or weakness as a man?
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:28 PM   #4
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what do you mean by emotionally attached? as in clingy to guys you've only meant for a short while? but you still have sex with them apart from ONS?
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:41 PM   #5
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The science behind it says we have neurotransmitters in the brain that allow us to "imprint" the partner to forming lasting bonds while mating...(emotional attachment)

As being carefree in my earlier years, I end up finding ONS very unfulfilling and destructive to me. Kind of like I was "going through the motions", even though I really didn't want to. Made me feel used and cheap like those little mircrowave ovens we all buy in walmart...Only to be used for frozen burritos and such while in a dorm room. As we move on, the microwave is either busted, or gets thrown away for bigger and better things.

Not very conducive to bonding in relationships eh? I ended up not dealing with dating and women for a long time. Kind of a self inflection period if you will.

Eventually, I did find LTRs that did have bonding with traits and personalities that I liked and could grow upon...
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:46 PM   #6
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Does the fact that you can't entertain NSA encounters bother you? Do you see it as some kind of flaw or weakness as a man?
Yeah. I get this impression that some of my male friends have a much easier time having casual sex and are able to function normal with these situations and are not overthinking what is the impact the behavior and actions is or might have on the other persons private life or emotional well being. I worry I might be unmasculine in that sense and also possibly missing out on sex.

I will share a true story. A long time ago, while i was dating, i found myself in a situation where i was out clubbing and drinking with friends. and the younger sister of my friends girlfriend came out with us. we all clubbed and drank and all wound up back at my friends house and there i was at 3 am sharing a blanket with the younger sister while they were upstairs in bed.

me and her always had a bit of chemistry and i did find her very sexually attractive. and we started fooling around under the blanket -- but i stopped myself at one point in the night and didn't let it get any further. i dont know why. i guess i was feeling guilty of cheating. i was overthinking the fact that she was the younger sister of my friends girlfriend. i was over thinking what will the consequences be afterwards. looking back, i think i was overthinking it too much and damn, i missed out on getting laid with a red head. what am idiot i am/was.i worry this might not be normal.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:48 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by jjgitties View Post
Yeah. I get this impression that some of my male friends have a much easier time having casual sex and are able to function normal with these situations and are not overthinking what is the impact the behavior and actions is or might have on the other persons private life or emotional well being. I worry I might be unmasculine in that sense and also possibly missing out on sex.

I will share a true story. A long time ago, while i was dating, i found myself in a situation where i was out clubbing and drinking with friends. and the younger sister of my friends girlfriend came out with us. we all clubbed and drank and all wound up back at my friends house and there i was at 3 am sharing a blanket with the younger sister while they were upstairs in bed.

me and her always had a bit of chemistry and i did find her very sexually attractive. and we started fooling around under the blanket -- but i stopped myself at one point in the night and didn't let it get any further. i dont know why. i guess i was feeling guilty of cheating. i was overthinking the fact that she was the younger sister of my friends girlfriend. i was over thinking what will the consequences be afterwards. looking back, i think i was overthinking it too much and damn, i missed out on getting laid with a red head. what am idiot i am/was.i worry this might not be normal.
You're a married man. You probably should spend less time wanting to be the type who can have meaningless one-night-stand type sex, don't you think?
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:50 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by jjgitties View Post
Yeah. I get this impression that some of my male friends have a much easier time having casual sex and are able to function normal with these situations and are not overthinking what is the impact the behavior and actions is or might have on the other persons private life or emotional well being. I worry I might be unmasculine in that sense and also possibly missing out on sex.

I will share a true story. A long time ago, while i was dating, i found myself in a situation where i was out clubbing and drinking with friends. and the younger sister of my friends girlfriend came out with us. we all clubbed and drank and all wound up back at my friends house and there i was at 3 am sharing a blanket with the younger sister while they were upstairs in bed.

me and her always had a bit of chemistry and i did find her very sexually attractive. and we started fooling around under the blanket -- but i stopped myself at one point in the night and didn't let it get any further. i dont know why. i guess i was feeling guilty of cheating. i was overthinking the fact that she was the younger sister of my friends girlfriend. i was over thinking what will the consequences be afterwards. looking back, i think i was overthinking it too much and damn, i missed out on getting laid with a red head. what am idiot i am/was.i worry this might not be normal.
Cheating? Were you in a relationship with someone at the time?
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:52 PM   #9
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Cheating? Were you in a relationship with someone at the time?
yup. with my gf (my current wife).
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:53 PM   #10
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You're a married man. You probably should spend less time wanting to be the type who can have meaningless one-night-stand type sex, don't you think?
Okay, I must have missed something here. I didn't realize the OP is married.

In that case, OP, you do realize that ONS/NSA sex and cheating are not the same thing, right?

Your story sounds more like you regret being a total douchebag

Give me a break.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:55 PM   #11
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:58 PM   #12
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Your story sounds more like you regret being a total douchebag
being or *not* being one?
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Old 22nd December 2017, 1:07 PM   #13
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being or *not* being one?
Well both.

You DID fool around with this girl under the blanket while dating someone else.

Then you regretted NOT having f*cked her when you thought you had the chance while dating someone else.

Two for two.

Either way, it's douchey.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 1:57 PM   #14
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Then you regretted NOT having f*cked her when you thought you had the chance while dating someone else.
it could also be that I drank too much and couldn't get it up that night. who knows, we could have done the deed and i would have been happily married to a real red head. every males fantasy
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Old 22nd December 2017, 2:21 PM   #15
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it could also be that I drank too much and couldn't get it up that night. who knows, we could have done the deed and i would have been happily married to a real red head. every males fantasy
Is it? Didn't know that.
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