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Getting out more - or is it time to chill?


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Old 22nd December 2017, 8:21 AM   #1
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Getting out more - or is it time to chill?

So according to some definitions, I tend to be a more extroverted person, although most people I know would suggest otherwise. As I've alluded to in my past threads, I've struggled with social anxiety for much of my life but I feel as if the counselling I've had for the past year has been an enormous help in treating it. Because it has been lifelong, I don't feel like my social skills are quite as good as they should be, but I'm definitely not afraid of throwing myself into social situations that present themselves to me (and occasionally messing up... hey, isn't that how we learn?) I feel like there is a completely new side to me that needs to be fulfilled.

Anyway - I've come to realise a large number of my friendships don't match my interests all that closely. I'll catch up with them for lunch, dinner or a drink or two at a party, and our personalities match really well but I don't feel like I can drag them to a gig, or go out to the bars in the city or hit the trails on the weekend which are what I enjoy doing most with my spare time. I do greatly enjoy the time I spend with them (not sure why... but don't question a good thing!) So most of my nights I sit around watching TV or Netflix... and I get bored with it very easily.

I just want to get out more and talk to more people, build friendships with people who enjoy a good night out, or hiking for the weekend, etc. Almost everyone else I know (including my partner) prefers TV on the couch most nights. But I also don't want it to be to the detriment of my relationship, or my health. Is there a way I can try and get out more without it looking like I'm trying to escape? Or should I accept that I'm a bit beyond nightlife and need to focus on enjoyment at home and with those already in my life?

I feel I could have done so much more with my social life if I'd had my anxiety sorted out when I'd just started uni... like I've turned up to the party when everyone's hung over.

Last edited by snowboy91; 22nd December 2017 at 8:31 AM..
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Old 22nd December 2017, 9:58 AM   #2
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Hello, I have also dealt with anxiety my whole life.

The past three years I decided to change that and go out and meet people, date, etc. I also traveled alot which was a great experience but I would still go back home and feel bored (the same feeling you described).

This month I decided to work on myself (exercise, meditate, eat healthy, learn how to play an instrument) and honestly I've been ten times happier. There are also many meetup groups (check meetup.com) where you can find people with similar interests.

Honestly I feel like we've been wired to go out, go to the best parties, meet people all the time, but that rarely brings happiness.

Just be and focus on yourself.
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