deni9 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 I hate myself so much. I am slim and tall. I am a B cup, and don't really have a big butt neither. I do have a hips, but that's all about that i have that can be considered "womanly". Women tell me how they wish they have my body, and then I have men telling that i need more meat on my bones.... which is very offensive to say. I work out. I use to weigh 200lbs and i went down to 128lbs. I feel so trap in my body. I literally feel my self esteem has been shattered right before my eyes. Its so hard to not care what other people think. I feel bad for my boyfriend at times because I dont look like the women on tv who are curvaceous. Im not a twig. I do have shape, since my shoulders and hips are wider than my waist. This has gotten bad that I hate being out in public... What are some steps for me to move on from this? To learn to love myself? I can't do this myself. And i cant see a therapist neither since I am a medical student and cant afford much. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 So first off to hell with what the media or TV portray as "womanly". What matters is what you think. Unfortunately you are allowing the former to dictate the later. You should be extremely proud of the amount of weight you lost and kept off. Second, remember "the grass is always greener". I won't opine on the issue of what is "right" and "wrong" in the modeling world. But the fact is that the industry has been largely dominated by tall and thin women for my entire life. There are probably plenty of women feeling the same way you do for the exact opposite reason. Finally, know that there are plenty of men out there who prefer the type of body you're decrying. I know because I am one of them. I find her more attractive than her. Your boyfriend may be the same way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 This isn't about your body. You know that right? That the vast majority of women do not have "what the media portrays" yet are happy in their own skin. I have nothing to brag about (lots of lose skin from weight loss, no boobs etc) - but I feel just fine about myself. Maybe I don't feel comfortable in a bikini, but I'll still sport a one piece without any shame. The fact that you feel bad for your Bf because you don't look like a Kardashian is extremely sad. I think you really need therapy to address your body dismorphia. Have you looked into what options you have? Do you have health insurance? It's usually a $30 copay if you do. When I was in college counseling was available for little or no charge. Have you looked into what they have to offer? Hating your body is no way to live. Sounds like you have a better than average one. It's not like you weigh 400 pounds and desperately need to get healthy. Instead you have a strong, healthy, attractive body, but your MIND is playing tricks on you. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I hate myself so much. I am slim and tall. I am a B cup... wtf? Sounds hot to me... I agree with RecentChange. It's gotta be the way you are thinking. On the outside, you sound great. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 If you are a medical student talk to your university. Every center for higher education has free to low cost mental health services. You cannot care for others if you are not mentally healthy. If you were able to carry 200 lbs but are now down to 128 you are probably dangerously unhealthy. I suspect you may have anorexia or another body imaging disorder which is more about control then weight. Talk to somebody before you make yourself so physically ill that you are no go to yourself or anybody else. I am anorexic. (It's like addition. You always are but hopefully get control). I understand the need for control & being unable to see what others see. I was 5'7, weighed less than 115 & thought I was obese. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 In my teenage years, I had anorexia/bulimia. Anyone who commented that I had to put on weight, I thought wanted me to become fat and ugly. My thinking was completely askewed. I was abused as a child, but only much later did I make the connection. Link to post Share on other sites
Life lessons Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I hate myself so much. I am slim and tall. I am a B cup, and don't really have a big butt neither. I do have a hips, but that's all about that i have that can be considered "womanly". Women tell me how they wish they have my body, and then I have men telling that i need more meat on my bones.... which is very offensive to say. I work out. I use to weigh 200lbs and i went down to 128lbs. I feel so trap in my body. I literally feel my self esteem has been shattered right before my eyes. Its so hard to not care what other people think. I feel bad for my boyfriend at times because I dont look like the women on tv who are curvaceous. Im not a twig. I do have shape, since my shoulders and hips are wider than my waist. This has gotten bad that I hate being out in public... What are some steps for me to move on from this? To learn to love myself? I can't do this myself. And i cant see a therapist neither since I am a medical student and cant afford much. Are you wanting to gain weight or only wanting to have better self esteem for yourself? I ask because I too have been in your situation. I'm 5'5" and weighed 104 lbs. I tried everything to gain weight and was not successful. I finally started adding protein shakes twice a day and that helped me tremendously. Also, there is a high calorie boost shake that you can order online...those will also help you to gain a few pounds quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
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