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Image and Style - Again


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Had a long talk with an Asian girl I met recently.

 

I was joking with her about being "Asian ugly" (not attractive to Asian women) when she told me that wasn't it.

 

She compared me to those guys in Fast and Furious.

 

Like I'm Vin Diesel (a thinner Vin Diesel), but Asian girls like the other guy... Paul Walker or whatever his name is.

 

We talked at length.

 

Image has literally everything to do with who you attract. Who you actually are has nothing to do with it until later on in.

 

I mean consider this: Say you dressed a "perfect man" up in hobo clothing and stuck him on the curb... how many and what type of women would he attract?

 

In transforming from geek to cool guy all these years, I may have over shot the goal. I'm too cool, to "idgaf" and too fun. This is what she told me.

 

How can I change from Vin Diesel, attracting all the train wrecks, to Paul Walker, given that I:

 

1) Travel and don't always have an iron handy

2) Do a lot of outdoorsy stuff

3) Am on boats and in heat, rain, etc a lot.

4) Hate suits/ties after wearing them for years

 

I have money, but I don't like to display that. Would prefer not to look like I have $$$, but maybe I need to move just a little bit in that direction.

 

What does everyone think?

 

I feel like it will change the type of girls I'm attracting.

 

I think this girl is right.

 

I'd like to attract very "out there" women who are of course petite and in shape, but also that are good hearted, open minded and interested in doing things in life other than office work. ie: traveling to other countries, homesteading on land in the middle of nowhere, pair bonding, enjoying amazing meals together, learning and reading, etc...

Edited by loveweary11
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Heatherknows
Had a long talk with an Asian girl I met recently.

 

I was joking with her about being "Asian ugly" (not attractive to Asian women) when she told me that wasn't it.

 

She compared me to those guys in Fast and Furious.

 

Like I'm Vin Diesel (a thinner Vin Diesel), but Asian girls like the other guy... Paul Walker or whatever his name is.

 

We talked at length.

 

Image has literally everything to do with who you attract. Who you actually are has nothing to do with it until later on in.

 

I mean consider this: Say you dressed a "perfect man" up in hobo clothing and stuck him on the curb... how many and what type of women would he attract?

 

In transforming from geek to cool guy all these years, I may have over shot the goal. I'm too cool, to "idgaf" and too fun. This is what she told me.

 

How can I change from Vin Diesel, attracting all the train wrecks, to Paul Walker, given that I:

 

1) Travel and don't always have an iron handy

2) Do a lot of outdoorsy stuff

3) Am on boats and in heat, rain, etc a lot.

4) Hate suits/ties after wearing them for years

 

I have money, but I don't like to display that. Would prefer not to look like I have $$$, but maybe I need to move just a little bit in that direction.

 

What does everyone think?

 

I feel like it will change the type of girls I'm attracting.

 

I think this girl is right.

 

I'd like to attract very "out there" women who are of course petite and in shape, but also that are good hearted, open minded and interested in doing things in life other than office work. ie: traveling to other countries, homesteading on land in the middle of nowhere, pair bonding, enjoying amazing meals together, learning and reading, etc...

 

It seems you like the 20 something crowd but the kind of girl you want is someone who is really into peace and love and she's probably doing volunteer work with animals or people. If you go to clubs you might find a girl like that but you'll probably find more club girls. I'm not sure how many girls who like to help others look like models. This is a strange world we are living in. First order of business is to make sure you're honest with yourself and figure out what you really want and what is optional.

 

For a long time I pretended I was something I wasn't. When I looked at myself and saw how flawed I really am I was shocked.

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I went to have a look at the characters and I agree that the Paul Walker character looks much more like the type of guy I have dated and would date.

 

Take a look through these pics..

I went on to the IMDB.com site and clicked on Paul Walker's character's name and found a load of pics of both characters.

Pictures & Photos of Brian O'Conner - IMDb

 

Vin wears a fitted t-shirt or a vest top in pretty much every picture whilst Paul usually wears a casual shirt. When he does wear a t-shirt it's a normal t-shirt, not a vest and not tight.

It's a case of less is more.

Vin looks a bit trashy IMO, Paul doesn't.

 

ETA: You can get shirts these days which don't need to be ironed. You can also use a steam cleaner to get creases out and casual shirts don't need to be crisp and with creases.

Edited by GemmaUK
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Definitely interested in the 30 something crowd. They would just need to be compatible.

 

The good traits of my ex wife were like this, actually and she's in the 30 something crowd.

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Suggestion - you need a change of venue to someplace where image is defined by something other than how you look. In my neck of the woods image is more defined by your level of fitness, outdoor activities (and your proficiency at them), attitude/personal beliefs and I guess - gear. Consider: Colorado, Oregon, Washington State. Even CA.

 

It just kinda sounds like you're caught in an east coast rut.

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Suggestion - you need a change of venue to someplace where image is defined by something other than how you look. In my neck of the woods image is more defined by your level of fitness, outdoor activities (and your proficiency at them), attitude/personal beliefs and I guess - gear. Consider: Colorado, Oregon, Washington State. Even CA.

 

It just kinda sounds like you're caught in an east coast rut.

 

Hmmmm....

 

I've often suspected this. Urban East Coast rut.

 

Trouble is, for a couple years, I need to be here. I have a $48,000 mast to buy and a more interior work to do on the boat. And until they dig a canal to Colorado, I can't go. I'm bound to the ocean because the majority of my net worth is tied up in a boat.

 

I grew up rurally where hiking and fitness were #1. Gear too, so I understand that.

 

I could hit the Panama canal and get to WA or Oregon.

 

Can't help but to think going to other countries would help as well....

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Heatherknows
Suggestion - you need a change of venue to someplace where image is defined by something other than how you look. In my neck of the woods image is more defined by your level of fitness, outdoor activities (and your proficiency at them), attitude/personal beliefs and I guess - gear. Consider: Colorado, Oregon, Washington State. Even CA.

 

It just kinda sounds like you're caught in an east coast rut.

 

That's silly. NY is filled with artist types, activist types, etc. I don't know how much time you've spent in NY but it's filled with 30 something single attractive women with interesting lives. LOL.

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That's silly. NY is filled with artist types, activist types, etc. I don't know how much time you've spent in NY but it's filled with 30 something single attractive women with interesting lives. LOL.

 

Agreed. The population of New York is 19.75 million people. So, LoveWeary, you have to wide your horizons in that city b/c with that high of a population you are bound to run into women who fit your "must have" list.

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I went to have a look at the characters and I agree that the Paul Walker character looks much more like the type of guy I have dated and would date.

 

Take a look through these pics..

I went on to the IMDB.com site and clicked on Paul Walker's character's name and found a load of pics of both characters.

Pictures & Photos of Brian O'Conner - IMDb

 

Vin wears a fitted t-shirt or a vest top in pretty much every picture whilst Paul usually wears a casual shirt. When he does wear a t-shirt it's a normal t-shirt, not a vest and not tight.

It's a case of less is more.

Vin looks a bit trashy IMO, Paul doesn't.

 

ETA: You can get shirts these days which don't need to be ironed. You can also use a steam cleaner to get creases out and casual shirts don't need to be crisp and with creases.

 

This is very true; I flipped through those pics and thought that Vin looks like he's trying too hard to show off his body and particularly the guns, while Paul is just standing around being unselfconsciously handsome in a disheveled way.

 

I came away from that slideshow thinking, good Lord, Paul Walker was a good-looking man.

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That's silly. NY is filled with artist types, activist types, etc. I don't know how much time you've spent in NY but it's filled with 30 something single attractive women with interesting lives. LOL.

 

Going on 9 years.

 

None on the people Mrin is describing live here.

 

If they do, they are poseurs. Not the real thing.

 

He is describing a type of person I grew up with and was for most of my early life.

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Agreed. The population of New York is 19.75 million people. So, LoveWeary, you have to wide your horizons in that city b/c with that high of a population you are bound to run into women who fit your "must have" list.

 

True, but we are looking at style here. What style can I do to look more Paul Walker and less Vin Diesel, given I have to shave my head or get fake hair. n:lmao:

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I also have more of a Vin Diesel face (not that bad though).

 

I can't look like Paul Walker. I have different genetics.

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Heatherknows
Going on 9 years.

 

None on the people Mrin is describing live here.

 

If they do, they are poseurs. Not the real thing.

 

He is describing a type of person I grew up with and was for most of my early life.

 

You can't do obvious. Go to Central Park and watch the free dance concerts you'll meet a million women, go to the free galleries, or the Met on Friday night I think they still play Jazz there. If you do the big flashy stuff you'll get more of what you've been getting. However, women who are a bit more interesting will be attractive but I can't promise flawless.

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True, but we are looking at style here. What style can I do to look more Paul Walker and less Vin Diesel, given I have to shave my head or get fake hair. n:lmao:

 

Dude -- just look like yourself. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but it's also a turn off to women who want the real thing in a man they date.

 

Don't be a poser unless you want to attract posers. Make sense?

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You can't do obvious. Go to Central Park and watch the free dance concerts you'll meet a million women, go to the free galleries, or the Met on Friday night I think they still play Jazz there. If you do the big flashy stuff you'll get more of what you've been getting. However, women who are a bit more interesting will be attractive but I can't promise flawless.

 

Good point.

 

Lavo, Marquee, Governors Beach Club, Pacha. All the same results.

 

The best one I've met so far was from Israel, met in a cheezy times square Irish Pub while killing some time.

 

Guess I need to wander more.

 

On topic though, how can I change from Vin Diesel to Paul Walker, given I currently look mostly like Vin Diesel and do not have Paul Walker facial features and can't grow my hair out from shaved?

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Dude -- just look like yourself. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but it's also a turn off to women who want the real thing in a man they date.

 

Don't be a poser unless you want to attract posers. Make sense?

 

This makes no sense.

 

I'm just a naked guy if "looking like myself."

 

So is everyone.

 

How would a Harley chick be attracted to a Harley guy if he wasn't wearing his Harley costume?

 

How would a woman that likes investment bankers be attracted to a guy if he wasn't wearing a good suit?

 

Being yourself, image wise, is being naked.

 

From there, we choose what image to put on display to others in order to have some effect on our personal interactions and what people think of us in the first few minutes of meeting.

Edited by loveweary11
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This makes no sense.

 

I'm just a naked guy if "looking like myself."

 

So is everyone.

 

How would a Harley chick be attracted to a Harley guy if he wasn't wearing his Harley costume?

 

How would a woman that likes investment bankers be attracted to a guy if he wasn't wearing a good suit.

 

Being yourself, image wise, is being naked.

 

From there, we choose what image to put on display to others in order to have some effect on our personal interactions and what people think of us in the first few minutes of meeting.

 

Sure it makes sense. Dress in the style you like. If you dress to look like Vin Diesel or Paul Walker, then you're not being yourself.

 

Here's a question for you: who does Johnny Depp dress like? Himself. That's what makes him so attractive to his female fan base. He created his own fashion sense. So, create your own fashion style.

 

http://www.modissimo.fr/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/style-johnny-depp-2.jpeg

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On topic though, how can I change from Vin Diesel to Paul Walker, given I currently look mostly like Vin Diesel and do not have Paul Walker facial features and can't grow my hair out from shaved?

 

Well, the good news is that it's the clothes we were commenting on more than anything else; I think the main turn-off in those Vin pics is that tight muscle shirts scream "trying too hard" and "please admire my body". Some women do go for that look but many prefer something more subtle and laid back, and definitely less self-conscious. The whole body-builder thing can seem a little...desperate for attention. I mean, tastes vary, of course. ;)

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Sure it makes sense. Dress in the style you like. If you dress to look like Vin Diesel or Paul Walker, then you're not being yourself.

 

Here's a question for you: who does Johnny Depp dress like? Himself. That's what makes him so attractive to his female fan base. He created his own fashion sense. So, create your own fashion style.

 

http://www.modissimo.fr/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/style-johnny-depp-2.jpeg

 

Gotcha.

 

Pretty tall order though.

 

I guarantee Depp hired a top stylist to achieve his look, which will reel in mostly hippie chicks, which is where I also lean.

 

So maybe I'm on the wrong forum?

 

Maybe I should be asking this in a style forum?

 

I'd totally go Depp esque but I'm working with shaved head.

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Well, the good news is that it's the clothes we were commenting on more than anything else; I think the main turn-off in those Vin pics is that tight muscle shirts scream "trying too hard" and "please admire my body". Some women do go for that look but many prefer something more subtle and laid back, and definitely less self-conscious. The whole body-builder thing can seem a little...desperate for attention. I mean, tastes vary, of course. ;)

 

 

Hmmm.

 

Ok. That makes sense. Here I am looking at a TON of fitted tees, tight pants, etc.

 

I feel like for guys like me and poor Vin here... we have to use our bodies because frankly, we aren't that cute in the face like Paul Walker.

 

What does anyone make of that problem?

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Well, the good news is that it's the clothes we were commenting on more than anything else; I think the main turn-off in those Vin pics is that tight muscle shirts scream "trying too hard" and "please admire my body". Some women do go for that look but many prefer something more subtle and laid back, and definitely less self-conscious. The whole body-builder thing can seem a little...desperate for attention. I mean, tastes vary, of course. ;)

 

I agree with this. When you look like you are trying too hard, you come across as arrogant and self-obsessed, which is really unattractive.

 

Wear well-fitting, tailored, but not tight. clothing. Since you have $, you can even have t-shirts tailored to where they fit you well. Jeans, slacks, shorts, everything. This will give you that put-together "wealthy" look without going out and buying a bunch of designer stuff that attracts gold digger types. It will just make the most of your body without looking like you are trying too hard or going meathead.

 

Also, make sure you are choosing clothing you like. You want to attract girls who are like you or who understand you. Just like you said about Harley people being attracted to each other. Choose styles, colors, and brands that you connect with.

 

If it is just a matter of looking like Paul Walker, you can Google him, and copy his outfits. But that seems fakey, and probably won't work. Because you AREN'T Paul Walker. Or Vin Diesel. You are you.

 

Your face is fine. :)

 

How is your temperament/attitude? Do you come across as brutish, aggressive, angry, arrogant, stand-offish, bitter, or rude? Or are you approachable, friendly, humorous, happy, accepting, and open? The aura around you will attract or repel women as much as (or more than) what you look like.

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So would Paul Walker look just as good if his T's were one size smaller?

 

That's what I'm thinking. Hes just a better looking guy, period, so they like him. But the clothing does matter.

 

I feel like an even better question would be:

Would Vin look good if he had Paul Walker's loose clothing on?

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Gotcha.

 

Pretty tall order though.

 

I guarantee Depp hired a top stylist to achieve his look, which will reel in mostly hippie chicks, which is where I also lean.

 

So maybe I'm on the wrong forum?

 

Maybe I should be asking this in a style forum?

 

I'd totally go Depp esque but I'm working with shaved head.

 

What you don't realize is that bald men are HOT and can literally wear any style they want to and look sexy it in.

 

 

Just don't wear what this guy does:

 

 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ps59ZuOzPRQ/TSenU93BySI/AAAAAAAAAH4/cSrST2L7qRE/s1600/hippie3.jpg

 

 

I'm not a fashion stylist but what about what they male models are wearing (imagined with a bald head):

 

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i9lyBO3L3tw/UBkZRmbumBI/AAAAAAAABds/ueJdlcpmSlQ/s1600/Mens-Fashion-1.jpg

 

 

I actually like this look on a guy too:

 

 

http://www.zquotes.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Mens-Fashion-Style-2014-2015.jpg

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