Insecurities, insecurities, insecurities

[Haerts]

Hi everyone,

 

I've been in a relationship for about 5 months now. I'm 24. Before my current boyfriend, I've been through some real ******* guys and I believe that made me be the insecure woman I am in relationships nowadays.

 

While I know he's done some wrong and that adds up to my insecurities... I also know I have my share of stupid-things-done. I also know that before I met him I felt insecure with pretty much every guy, being them someone who I was in love with or who I was just enjoying to get to know, or just using to pass time (yeah, I've done that)... not matter what, I'm always afraid they will soon ditch me for someone else. And it drives me crazy.

 

I'm okay when it comes down to myself. I love my life. I love the things I do. I'm ok with how I look too. I also know I'm fun, nice, caring, supporting, and he's always said that I'm the best girlfriend one could have. Whenever a problem between us come up, he leads with them so much better than me too; while I tend to want to run away, he always shows me how we can fix them. It seems like he's dealing with me very well now, but I'm afraid eventually that will drive him away.

 

I really don't know what I can do to stop that. To focus on my life and enjoy the present. If he goes a couple hours without texting me or whatever, I already start getting insecure. Obviously I try to hide it the best, so it doesn't get to him, but I need to stop it. Not only for him, but also for me. If we end up breaking up someday, I don't wanna do the same thing to another guy either.

 

How can I feel more comfortable in my relationship? He does everything I want and ask, yet doesn't matter what, I always feel like this.

[Tozz]

Hi everyone,

 

I've been in a relationship for about 5 months now. I'm 24. Before my current boyfriend, I've been through some real ******* guys and I believe that made me be the insecure woman I am in relationships nowadays.

 

While I know he's done some wrong and that adds up to my insecurities... I also know I have my share of stupid-things-done. I also know that before I met him I felt insecure with pretty much every guy, being them someone who I was in love with or who I was just enjoying to get to know, or just using to pass time (yeah, I've done that)... not matter what, I'm always afraid they will soon ditch me for someone else. And it drives me crazy.

 

I'm okay when it comes down to myself. I love my life. I love the things I do. I'm ok with how I look too. I also know I'm fun, nice, caring, supporting, and he's always said that I'm the best girlfriend one could have. Whenever a problem between us come up, he leads with them so much better than me too; while I tend to want to run away, he always shows me how we can fix them. It seems like he's dealing with me very well now, but I'm afraid eventually that will drive him away.

 

I really don't know what I can do to stop that. To focus on my life and enjoy the present. If he goes a couple hours without texting me or whatever, I already start getting insecure. Obviously I try to hide it the best, so it doesn't get to him, but I need to stop it. Not only for him, but also for me. If we end up breaking up someday, I don't wanna do the same thing to another guy either.

 

How can I feel more comfortable in my relationship? He does everything I want and ask, yet doesn't matter what, I always feel like this.

 

 

"I love the things that I do." I really believe when you both are apart, you should do the things that you do--and keep yourself busy. Call up your friends, go and do things with your friends. (*If you need to, make new ones.) I truly believe that this is key. They can help you feel better, someone else to talk to--it's really healthy to do this. Ladies' (your friends') point of view can be tremendous consolation...

 

Wishing you the best.

 

--Tozz

[freelo]

From what you've written, it seems that you're carrying a lot of unreleased anxiety from dating bad guys in the past. The guy you're dating right now appears to be awesome-but I think you really need to focus on healing your anxiety. I suggest going to a therapist or community elder-your anxiety will not go away on its own.