The Poster Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 So, in my path to becoming a better, more improved person now that I'm single again, I bought this book about mindfulness to try and get my anxiety under control. This stuff is amazing. It basically tells you how the mind works and why we get stuck in bouts of depression and anxiety and how we can free ourselves from it. The mind has two modes. A "doing" mode, and a "being mode" and when you have bad feelings or emotions, the sufferer relies on the "doing" mode to try and solve the problem and basically try to think our way out of the negative thought. This, of course, backfires and causes us to fall deeper into a state of depression. The "being" mode is what we should be learning to use. It allows us to take the thought as it is, and nothing more. Basically that the negative thought or emotion is just a passing event, like a car in the distance or a storm cloud. Acknowledge it for what it is, a simple thought, and let it pass away instead of trying to fight it. I've only been doing it for a few days but I can already feel a difference. I feel like once I keep practicing, I will be able to control my thoughts, instead of letting them control me. I've also been doing meditation, which is part of the practice of mindfulness and that really helps as well. Anyone who is struggling with depression or anxiety should look into this type of therapy. It could change your life. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Poster Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 I want to give a personal example to further illustrate what this is all about. I remember when my ex and I first got together, there was a time she was supposed to text me but didn't. The negative thought popped into my head. "She was supposed to text me but didn't and that makes me feel bad" Instead of just letting that thought pass away on it's own, my brain went into hyper-drive trying to "solve" the problem and think my way out of that bad thought, and by doing so, I spiraled further downward with more bad thoughts. "Does she not like me anymore?" "Does she still want to be with me?" "Did something happen to her?" "Did I say or do something that made her mad?" "Am I not good enough?" Before I knew it, I was in a deep state of anxiety and depression. Mindfulness teaches you to just let the original bad thought be, and it will pass soon enough. It allows your mind to be clear and live in the present moment. Taking things as they are and not anything else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 There's another book you might like. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the four agreements you make with yourself is 'never make assumptions'. The point being that you are literally allowing your mind to think up reasons why something happened or didn't happen. It's also really easy to just believe these assumptions we make instead of sitting back, being patient and seeing what happens next. It's a heck of a lot of wasted energy also to both make assumptions and then worry about them. Self inflicted stress. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mandy26 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 (edited) it is good to hear that you are doing well, I too have been practicing mindfulness. Edited December 17, 2014 by Mandy26 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leegh Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 What books are recommended in addition to "The Four Agreements"? I overthink a lot of things, and it causes me anxiety and stress, so I am interested in reading about and practicing "Mindfulness". Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I don't know what the title of the Mindfulness book is, but, without wishing in any way to proselytise, "Present Moment, Wonderful Moment" and "Peace is Every Step" (both by a Zen Buddhist Monk named Thich Naht Hahn) are excellent little, easy to read, Mindfulness guidance books. Mindfulness is the Essence of Meditation and Meditation heals the mind and the person. I wish you all the very best. Metta, Evan. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Poster Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 What books are recommended in addition to "The Four Agreements"? I overthink a lot of things, and it causes me anxiety and stress, so I am interested in reading about and practicing "Mindfulness". The Mindful Way Through Anxiety. The Mindful Way Through Depression. Both will give you great advice and meditation techniques to help. I highly recommend them. Just keep practicing what the book teaches and you'll find yourself more at ease and positive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 The Mindful Way Through Anxiety. The Mindful Way Through Depression. Both will give you great advice and meditation techniques to help. I highly recommend them. Just keep practicing what the book teaches and you'll find yourself more at ease and positive. John Kabat-Zinn is a huge name and reputation in Buddhist circles! He's a co-author of the 'depression' book.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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