What I fear - what are yours

[Camaro Guy]

I have many fears. Like everyone. But to me, they seem as if they are very present and close and like no one else has any. I put up an air of assurance but it is fake. I thought it might be cathartic to discuss some of my fears. It might be cathartic for everyone. Here goes.

 

1. I fear as if I'll make a terrible mistake at work leading to my termination. Every day I go into work, I pray that I will not mess up. Sometimes I wish I could get rid of this pressure. In all, I feel as if I will buckle beneath the weight of responsibility.

 

2. I fear that the "real" me will be unmasked and that I will be left with no one. No allies, no supporters. I will be left to fend for myself.

 

3. I fear that I will be a virgin for the rest of my life, never knowing what it is like to kiss a girl I am desperately attracted to and her to me. I fear I will never be able to experience sex with another human being and miss and essential part of life, especially while my body is still in good shape.

 

4. I fear that I will not be man enough for the woman who does catch my eye and she will slip out of my grasp like so many others. I fear I will have to lie about my inexperience and I can never be my true self around her.

 

5. I fear that if I ever do get into a long term relationship, like marriage, she will take advantage of me and pull the wool over my eyes, robbing me blind financially and emotionally due to my inexperience.

 

6. I fear dying alone, never having the social life I dream of.

 

7. I fear being stuck in the same predicament for years on end, trapped in a hamster wheel.

 

8. I fear as my good days are behind me and that my luck will only turn sour from here on.

 

9. I fear as if I missed so many opportunities. For friendship, for sex, for experiences, all because I was so afraid of people and I didn't want to leave my college room.

 

10. I fear the day when my parents will finally leave this earth as they were my only true allies and I can never talk with them again.

 

11. I fear as if I will eventually end up turning on myself because I can't take the weight of the world anymore. Too many responsibilities, too much trauma, too much envy, too many missed chances and unfulfilled promises.

Edited December 7, 2014 by Camaro Guy

[most_distant_galaxy]

Oh my, this stressed me out. You sure need a hug, come here I guess we are all scared but most of the times forget about it.

 

Some fears:

 

1) Death. Of me or the people I love

2) Alzheimer's and similar diseases that change a person

3) That deep inside I am worthless

4) That I will never have a husband, a family

5) That I will marry and have a family with the wrong person

6) Speaking in front of an audience

7) Big waves

Edited December 7, 2014 by most_distant_galaxy
grammar

[Robert Z]

I have many fears. Like everyone. But to me, they seem as if they are very present and close and like no one else has any. I put up an air of assurance but it is fake. I thought it might be cathartic to discuss some of my fears. It might be cathartic for everyone. Here goes.

 

1. I fear as if I'll make a terrible mistake at work leading to my termination. Every day I go into work, I pray that I will not mess up. Sometimes I wish I could get rid of this pressure. In all, I feel as if I will buckle beneath the weight of responsibility.

 

2. I fear that the "real" me will be unmasked and that I will be left with no one. No allies, no supporters. I will be left to fend for myself.

 

3. I fear that I will be a virgin for the rest of my life, never knowing what it is like to kiss a girl I am desperately attracted to and her to me. I fear I will never be able to experience sex with another human being and miss and essential part of life, especially while my body is still in good shape.

 

4. I fear that I will not be man enough for the woman who does catch my eye and she will slip out of my grasp like so many others. I fear I will have to lie about my inexperience and I can never be my true self around her.

 

5. I fear that if I ever do get into a long term relationship, like marriage, she will take advantage of me and pull the wool over my eyes, robbing me blind financially and emotionally due to my inexperience.

 

6. I fear dying alone, never having the social life I dream of.

 

7. I fear being stuck in the same predicament for years on end, trapped in a hamster wheel.

 

8. I fear as my good days are behind me and that my luck will only turn sour from here on.

 

9. I fear as if I missed so many opportunities. For friendship, for sex, for experiences, all because I was so afraid of people and I didn't want to leave my college room.

 

10. I fear the day when my parents will finally leave this earth as they were my only true allies and I can never talk with them again.

 

11. I fear as if I will eventually end up turning on myself because I can't take the weight of the world anymore. Too many responsibilities, too much trauma, too much envy, too many missed chances and unfulfilled promises.

 

The thing about fear is that it is generally unproductive. It can hinder your ability to move on with your life. Fear can be paralyzing! So the first thing to ask yourself is whether harboring this fear serves you any useful purpose. While it may be useful for a time, we generally put many order of magnitude of energy into stress and fear beyond what is useful. If it motivates you to take action, great! If not then you need to recognize that it serves no useful purpose and only helps to create the very destiny your fear. We really do create our own realities.

 

The more you focus on what you fear the more power you give it over your life. Focus on the outcome you want, not the one you fear.

 

Fear is one of our most primitive emotions. By simply recognizing that it exists we can begin to move beyond that feeling. So facing your fears and listing them is good. It helps to disarm them.

 

As for things we cannot change, again, having fear serves no purpose. It doesn't help you to cope. It doesn't change the outcome of anything. It won't save your job. It doesn't make your life better. This is where acceptance comes in. And beyond that, it is important to remember that you are ultimately the one in control of your life - not your boss or your friends or the women who broke your heart.

 

 

The best way to render fear powerless is to recognize that you are not at the mercy of the world. You are in control of your life.

Edited December 7, 2014 by Robert Z

[Dontfindme]

1. Spiders

2. Failure

3. Death

[pink_sugar]

Biggest fears:

 

Dying in a Car accident

Losing my job again and my home when I move out again

[Camaro Guy]

The thing about fear is that it is generally unproductive. It can hinder your ability to move on with your life. Fear can be paralyzing! So the first thing to ask yourself is whether harboring this fear serves you any useful purpose. While it may be useful for a time, we generally put many order of magnitude of energy into stress and fear beyond what is useful. If it motivates you to take action, great! If not then you need to recognize that it serves no useful purpose and only helps to create the very destiny your fear. We really do create our own realities.

 

The more you focus on what you fear the more power you give it over your life. Focus on the outcome you want, not the one you fear.

 

Fear is one of our most primitive emotions. By simply recognizing that it exists we can begin to move beyond that feeling. So facing your fears and listing them is good. It helps to disarm them.

 

As for things we cannot change, again, having fear serves no purpose. It doesn't help you to cope. It doesn't change the outcome of anything. It won't save your job. It doesn't make your life better. This is where acceptance comes in. And beyond that, it is important to remember that you are ultimately the one in control of your life - not your boss or your friends or the women who broke your heart.

 

 

The best way to render fear powerless is to recognize that you are not at the mercy of the world. You are in control of your life.

 

 

That is a good thing to keep in mind, thanks.

[todreaminblue]

i have a fear of not having the right words to say

 

i have afear fo my own thought processes which analyse everything i say or do as having an affect on someone else.....i would always prefer that to be something good .......

 

you can retract words you write.......but you cannot retract public speech....its such a responsibility...and i deeply respect man or woman who give elocutions that are edifying and uplift others.....

 

 

i only ever get up when i am committed to getting the words out......that they have to be said......sometimes its not pretty what i have to say.......its normally to right a wrong.......to try to help someone see something.....to give awareness.......of what i know to be true......so my biggest fear is always public speaking.....i prefer if i get up for it to be pretty and often it isnt....i gave one speech where i could just be passionate about the words......and the hope with in those words........because it wasnt my words .....i just re read men of distinction words.....they were perfect words...they shone.........

 

 

 

i am not good with impromptu speaking because i like to have written a speech.......where i have put in order and purpose all words that i have to say.......like yesterday i stood up at church...again....not so pretty a topic......but the most important part i had to say didnt get said.....because i got upset about the topic.......and ended it too soon......i didnt have a prepared talk......what i wanted to say ......was how the truth shared one day might change a life........the girl i was talking about and how i felt that i was bought into her life......and that i would be there for her.......and i didnt say that.......i am such a sook......and i felt tears welling so i didnt say it...it was the most important part....so yes...public speaking for me....because i find it hard to control what i feel when i am talking....makes me feel pathetic.....i have ot have a prepared talk.....or i obsess over what i didnt say and the message that i give instead of what i really wanted to give but didnt because of emotions that become visible.....makes me unhappy........deb

[todreaminblue]

i have fear of hurting others......i get wracked with guilt.....

 

 

i have fear of loving someone who wont love me back

 

i have a fear of time.......that i dont have enough left

 

 

i have a fear that my best will not be good enough

 

 

i am not afraid of death i fear for the ones i would leave behind so i know i would fight to stay and i would be afraid of losing......

 

 

i fear reaching out my hand.........then i fear that my hand will be rejected......luckily lately it hasnt

 

 

i fear that sometimes sadness has my heart infected that i cant see anything but blue

 

 

i fear hate........i dont understand it...anything i dont understand........i fear

 

 

i fear cruelty towards children show that the world is coming to a close....

 

 

and that the world needs a whole load of time to heal......

 

 

all my fears rest in .....time..deb

[KatZee]

Mortality scares me. Sometimes when I'm in bed just thinking, I start to panic and freak out about just no longer existing. Just black and nothing. I don't want to die.

 

Anything with more than 4 legs.

 

Balloons. Yes, balloons. I will break out in hives and start to sweat. Something about them popping in my face.

 

I guess I don't have too many REAL fears. I believe that as long as you know yourself, and trust yourself, and listen to your intuition, you will always be on the path you're meant to be on. Everything you're meant to have, you will have. Nothing will ever pass you by.

[Dontfindme]

anything with more than 4 legs.

 

 

This!!! Me too.

[todreaminblue]

I believe that as long as you know yourself, and trust yourself, and listen to your intuition, you will always be on the path you're meant to be on. Everything you're meant to have, you will have. Nothing will ever pass you by.

 

 

this is my new fave quote...beautiful thought.....deb

[shadow_stang]

This is my first post, but just wanted to reply to your number 3 and 4 fears. I was a virgin for a long time, compared to my friends, and everyone else in my small town. I let peer pressure get the best of me, and the feeling of not being "cool enough" and eventually lost my virginity to someone who didn't mean anything to me. It wasn't worth it at all, but I can't change the past.

 

 

I know you're a guy, and this probably won't mean much to you, but if I were "talking" to a girl, and she told me she was a virgin, it wouldn't change a thing. If someone truly falls for you, and cares about you, stuff like that won't mean ****. I've heard of people losing interest in a partner, or being upset if they weren't good at something, sexually or not, and I never get why it's even a thing? If my girl wasn't good at something, or was self confident, I'd be the one to help her get better, and even if she couldn't, I'd still love her anyway.

 

 

Basically what I'm saying is, I know it's stressful, and that it can make you feel low. But one day when the perfect person comes along, and you guys fall for each other, and it's the legit real deal love that we're all after, then it won't matter how experienced you are, or aren't, because someone who truly cares, will look past that. And they'll love that they're the first person to get you. Stay strong man.

[MuscleCarFan]

Brain cancer. I lost my dad and my mom 13 years apart (in that order) to brain cancer.

[BikerAccnt]

I don't suppose it's really a fear, or even a worry, but something I think about at times..

 

I've known 3 great women in my life. My ex-wife, ex live in, and my current GF.

 

For many and sundry reasons, the first two relationships didn't last, I'm hoping this one does. But my worry/fear/thoughts are..at this point in my life, with more sand in the bottom of the hour glass than the top, will I have someone to spend my "old" years with, someone to share the quiet times? Someone who's wizened gnarled hand can fit into mine.

[Shepp]

1. Not being able to keep the people I love safe. Things that I cant protect the people I love from is what I'm most scared of.

2. Enclosed spaces

 

 

That's pretty much it. Anything else I can deal with.

[Under The Radar]

Time, to me, is the most priceless commodity I possess.

 

Therefore, my biggest fear, is losing valuable time.

 

Time I can never get back because of making foolish decisions ...... such as staying in an unhealthy relationship too long.