Anger Management

[Dontfindme]

So lately, I've been getting agitated by little things here and there - not really at anyone in particular, but just angry in general. How do I stop, or lessen it?

 

What do you guys do to calm down when you're feeling angry? How have you managed your anger/temper?

[d0nnivain]

I few deep breaths helps. Intentionally lowering my voice octave to a quiet volume & concentrating on keeping it there when I really want to scream. Going for a brisk walk.

 

If all else fails pacing & shouting preferably while alone usually do it for me.

[Maleficent]

Being always angry at nothing usually points towards anxiety.

 

Meditation, yoga, physical activity in general should help. If not, seek professional help.

[OwMyEyeball]

Meditation, intense exercise, proper sleep, regulated diet (minimize sugar, caffeine and soy) and therapy all work for me in the long haul.

 

Intense exercise or even just some time in the Great Outdoors gives more immediate relief. That, or very "light" meditation (single point focus).

[Dontfindme]

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I do agree it's most likely anxiety related.

And it makes sense, because I have been skipping out on gym for a while now.

 

Meditation is something that I've been considering but have no idea how to do. Honestly, I've tried a bit- and felt fake doing it- like I'm forcing myself to empty out my mind, but thinking hard on doing that, so it isn't really empty. I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.

 

I'm glad the sugar/caffeine/soy bit was mentioned, perhaps that's another factor.

 

Thanks again guys.

[OwMyEyeball]

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I do agree it's most likely anxiety related.

And it makes sense, because I have been skipping out on gym for a while now.

 

Meditation is something that I've been considering but have no idea how to do. Honestly, I've tried a bit- and felt fake doing it- like I'm forcing myself to empty out my mind, but thinking hard on doing that, so it isn't really empty. I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.

 

I'm glad the sugar/caffeine/soy bit was mentioned, perhaps that's another factor.

 

Thanks again guys.

Meditation is best learned from a teacher. But it takes two to tango, so the pupil must also be willing to put an effort into the lessons. It's a mental workout, though some exercises are "gentler" than others.

 

If you have 10 full days to spare you could give Vipassana meditation a go. Highly recommended!

[evanescentworld]

Oi. Meditation. Don't get me started. Actually, all kidding aside, OwMyEyeball has it pretty much nailed.

[Art_Critic]

I always make sure I'm not going to take Sudafed... If I do I know I'll be short tempered the next day or two after taking it.

 

It's odd.. but many over the counter decongestants can do this to some people..

 

Other than that I make sure to take an hour to myself each night and decompress.

[Haydn]

Play indie.

[lollipopspot]

Strangely, I've developed a shorter temper over time. I don't know why. I used to be one of the most patient people in the world Now, if I feel myself starting to get really irritated, I step away from whatever it is that is triggering that in me. I just put it away, say I need a few minutes and walk away, stop the car and pull over, whatever... You need a few minutes to calm down and put things in perspective so you don't do something you'll regret.

[Dontfindme]

Meditation is best learned from a teacher. But it takes two to tango, so the pupil must also be willing to put an effort into the lessons. It's a mental workout, though some exercises are "gentler" than others.

 

If you have 10 full days to spare you could give Vipassana meditation a go. Highly recommended!

 

This is so awesome! I really wish I could do this - I'd have to go to the sites in MA or MD, but unfortunately, I don't have those 10 days on hand. Perhaps I can take this up in the summer. Bookmarking it. Thanks so much for this.

[Dontfindme]

I always make sure I'm not going to take Sudafed... If I do I know I'll be short tempered the next day or two after taking it.

 

It's odd.. but many over the counter decongestants can do this to some people..

 

Other than that I make sure to take an hour to myself each night and decompress.

 

Wow, that's really interesting -I wonder if other OTC meds do this too- I've taken some pain killers lately, but no decongestants.

 

I'm going to check my mood during allergy season, when all I inhale is decongestants.

[Dontfindme]

Play indie.

 

Always!

 

Strangely, I've developed a shorter temper over time. I don't know why. I used to be one of the most patient people in the world Now, if I feel myself starting to get really irritated, I step away from whatever it is that is triggering that in me. I just put it away, say I need a few minutes and walk away, stop the car and pull over, whatever... You need a few minutes to calm down and put things in perspective so you don't do something you'll regret.

 

It's interesting that you bring up patience - I think that's one of my problems too, I get increasingly impatient with everything. I'll keep what you said in mind, and practice it more - although, it is the hardest thing to do whilst angry - to actually think about it, and step away.

[Ronni_W]

Dontfindme,

Did you notice that you have more "reasons" to NOT get control of your own feelings of anger/impatience than TO become the master of them?

 

The goal of "beginner" meditation is NOT to empty the mind, but to start becoming acquainted with what is in the mind...without judgement and without getting riled up about it. (You would not ask or expect an infant to run a marathon, which is the same as asking a new meditator to empty its mind...by any stretch of the imagination, it's an impossible ask/task.)

 

The "problem" is that your higher mind is going to (try to) tell you that you've had too-high expectations of self and others, or been arrogant, or selfish, or self-righteous, or spiritually blind, or pride-filled and ego-driven, or something else equally obnoxious, offensive and wrong, and it's going to try to tell you that THAT is actually the core and root cause of your general feelings of anger.

 

And that's where we all -- or at least most of us -- get stuck. Those perceptions of our precious self are obnoxious, offensive and wrong. But. If we can get past all of that, then we might see something different. And. If any of this makes sense to you, then you'll find the right kind of meditation practice, or healer, or whatever, that actually will help make you the master of your feelings of anger...over time and with concerted effort/practice.

 

Now...I just need to find a way for what my own 'other self' is telling me, to not be so obnoxious, offensive and wrong . Life is so "warped" and wonderful.

Edited November 1, 2014 by Ronni_W
spelling

[Dontfindme]

Dontfindme,

Did you notice that you have more "reasons" to NOT get control of your own feelings of anger/impatience than TO become the master of them?

 

The goal of "beginner" meditation is NOT to empty the mind, but to start becoming acquainted with what is in the mind...without judgement and without getting riled up about it. (You would not ask or expect an infant to run a marathon, which is the same as asking a new meditator to empty its mind...by any stretch of the imagination, it's an impossible ask/task.)

 

The "problem" is that your higher mind is going to (try to) tell you that you've had too-high expectations of self and others, or been arrogant, or selfish, or self-righteous, or spiritually blind, or pride-filled and ego-driven, or something else equally obnoxious, offensive and wrong, and it's going to try to tell you that THAT is actually the core and root cause of your general feelings of anger.

 

And that's where we all -- or at least most of us -- get stuck. Those perceptions of our precious self are obnoxious, offensive and wrong. But. If we can get past all of that, then we might see something different. And. If any of this makes sense to you, then you'll find the right kind of meditation practice, or healer, or whatever, that actually will help make you the master of your feelings of anger...over time and with concerted effort/practice.

 

Now...I just need to find a way for what my own 'other self' is telling me, to not be so obnoxious, offensive and wrong . Life is so "warped" and wonderful.

 

Thank you for this post - while it was difficult to grasp, it did cause me to reflect a great deal. I'm not sure I'm there yet - but I hope to be.

[evanescentworld]

Ronni_W and Dontfindme you might both be interested in investigating getting a hold of a copy of this book.

 

I personally have not read it, but it resonates; I also saw a prolonged interview with the author (quite a personality in his own right!) which outlined the main premise of the book, and I found it a fascinating viewpoint; I am tempted to obtain the book, on that basis alone....

 

The page has a couple of interesting reviews, and a good outline is given by one reviewer.

[Dontfindme]

Ronni_W and Dontfindme you might both be interested in investigating getting a hold of a copy of this book.

 

I personally have not read it, but it resonates; I also saw a prolonged interview with the author (quite a personality in his own right!) which outlined the main premise of the book, and I found it a fascinating viewpoint; I am tempted to obtain the book, on that basis alone....

 

The page has a couple of interesting reviews, and a good outline is given by one reviewer.

 

Looks like there are lots of positive reviews for this book, I'll try to procure it when I'm in Barnes and Noble next!

[Ronni_W]

Ronni_W and Dontfindme you might both be interested in investigating getting a hold of a copy of this book.

Hey, evanescentworld.

So...like...thanks, right?

 

My 'chimp' has GOT to change, based on where my, er, 'higher chimp' aspires to go! That is, the 'lower' HAS to get on board with the 'higher'. I command, demand and decree it. I don't want to be its mere manager but its Lady Master, if that makes sense?

 

Yours is extremely timely, though, because I've been searching my 'puter for three days for a file containing exercises to get hold of my mind -- serious lack of discipline, focus, concentration happening inside of it. (Darn 'lower chimp' still firmly in charge .) I can't even remember the guru's name...or I'd just re-Google.