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Why am I So Shy / Socially Awkward :(


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when im at school, i feel like everyone is lookin down on me and i think everyone is better than me, like some god

 

i cant look into ppls eyes when i talk with them, im too nervous to

 

im afraid of girls

 

i am afraid of social events

 

i feel so ugly, even when ppl claim im the stud of the whole school

 

i feel so alone, even when im around friends

 

i cant hold a conversaion with a girl - after the "hey hows it goin" its a akward silence then im like "omg what do i say!"

 

i cry alot

 

i cant concentrate on anything too well

 

im alwaaaaays thinking. i never stop thinking. thers always a tune in my head. its hard to stop thinking

 

i find myself day dreaming alot during the day

 

i cant stand being alone at all

 

i think negatively about everything

 

im sooo nervous around large groups of ppl, i want to run away and hide under the covers. when i do, i hate myself for doin that

 

i do wierd things with my lips like bite them and stuff when around ppls

 

i cant aproach my friends in the school cafeteria, even ones i knew forever cuz im too nervous to and i dont know why

 

 

there. what does all this mean? am i a dumb ass? or a big loser?

 

theres prolly more stuff that i need to say just not thinkin of it right now

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BurningBright
what does all this mean? am i a dumb ass? or a big loser?

 

No, you are not a big loser, or a dumb ass. To me it sounds like you have some esteem issues. (Like many many other people do in this world!)

 

There is no one who is superior to you... realize this. Believe this. We all were created the same way.. sperm meets egg. So how can those who were created the same exact way as you be superior in any manner.

 

Of course we look up to others in life, and strive for the success and happiness others have had... but you cannot use these people, and what they are apparently doing in order to put yourself down.. YOU ARE BETTER THEN THAT!

 

You can have success, and happiness, and everything else other people in this world have had. Hell, you can become president if you want it bad enough!!!

 

Have you ever thought of seeing a counsellor to help??

 

~BurningBright :p

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i would go to a counselor, but im afraid if theylll throw me in a mental asylum, or make me take pills

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BurningBright

First of all.. how old are you?

 

Secondly... they can't just throw you in a mental asylum or force you to take any medication. Are they going to come home with you and shove the pills down your throat? Highly doubt it. Medication can be extremely helpful for certain conditions however, I am not denying that fact... but it's still your own choice whether you take the medication or not... this is to say if they were to ever prescribe any to you.

 

If you are under the age of majority, then I believe anyone would need your parents/guardians permission to put you anywhere... which in my mind is still very unlikely to happen.

 

Find out if there is a counselling service at your school, or in your town. Anything said in counselling is strictly confidential.. and no one can find out about what has been stated in the session unless you give them permission to release the information. It's the whole Doctor/Patient confidentiality act.

 

I say go see a counsellor... just talking with a professional can do wonders!!!!

 

~BurningBright :p

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im think that u might be socialphobic, if thats the correct term. im sure u can find some books for things like that to help u out. sorry i couldnt give u anymore advice.

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savethedrama4allama

Social anxiety and/or depression is nothing to be ashamed of. It is something you need help with, however. No counsellor will throw you into an asylum for this, and no one can make you take any pills.

 

If you want to feel better, which it sounds that you do, you have to be brave and seek professional help. Think of it as a broken bone. Would you be scared or embarassed to seek help for that?

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It sounds like a clear case of social anxiety and depression. As save the drama says, it's nothing to be embarrassed of and it WON'T get you put in a mental institution! I promise!!

 

You need to tell your parent's and then get some counseling. They may prescribe some meds to take while you are in therapy then as you improve, you will eventually be taken off of the meds, if this is caused by a chemical imbalance, you may take meds a little longer...

 

Tons of young people (even famous ones) have this so do adults. The pressures of life is to be the best at everything is so strong that it causes anxiety and depression....

 

Once you start counseling and possibly meds, you will be surprised how focused and happy you become! Don't delay, get help so you can start feeling better and happy!

 

Keep us updated!!

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a severe case of social anxiety. I know a number of people who have it.

 

It can be very devastating. I would seriously begin dealing with it!

 

Let me just say, the friends of mine who have struggled with social anxiety are all extremely bright (one borders on absolutely brilliant) and also exceptionally talented in the arts.

 

I think certain people are exquisitely sensitive to stimuli; an overload of stimuli (crowded places, like schools or malls) can throw them into 'panic' mode.

 

We all have the ancient 'flight or fight' programming in our brain; some people's brains just seem to get tripped into the 'fight or flight' mode very easily. Your body fills with adrenaline, you feel like you need to flee, your heart pumps very fast and your mind floods with anxiety.

 

This can be controlled using various techniques.

 

Cognitive therapy is a good approach for learning how to deal with stressful emotions.

Some therapists DO prescribe drugs like Prozac. If you have strong feelings about NOT wanting to use drugs, discuss this with the therapist and your parents. Keep the lines of communication open.

 

Some people use Prozac or Zoloft for short periods of time while they are dealing with complex underlying emotions; then they wean off. See if that's an option if your therapist recommends these medications.

 

Some excellent forms of excercise to try are Thai Chi or Yoga. Both forms of excercise have a strong focus on the mind/body connection. They can help you focus and diffuse a lot of stress.

 

Get the sugar and caffeine out of your diet. They are unncessary stimulants.

 

Also, if you are drinking alcohol, quit. It may seem to relax you at first, but it actually really messes up your sleep cycle.

 

 

Hang in there and keep us posted on how you're doing

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i thought about it, and i wanted to see what happens if i pick up on martial arts again.

 

man, when i do martial arts, my mind is clear, and im so relaxed! maybe i just need excersize.

 

but, 45 minnutes after workin out, the same issues come up again, except less intense.

 

 

could excersise be the answer? what do u think

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Martial arts is great for your body and soul, so keep it up.

 

I take some of those "horrible pills" for depression. I only discovered them when I was 31. I wish I had had a chance to take antidepressants when I was 15. They take the pain and anxiety down to a manageable level, and let me live my life. Please don't rule them out.

 

Also...nobody gets institutionalized for the kind of behavior and thoughts you have. NOBODY. It will not happen.

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mmm some of that sounds familiar, although i'm not sure in my case wether its a lack of self confidence, not getting out enough or social anxiety. anywho dont be afraid to seek help because you cant keep going on like this

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i wish i can have a full cure though. i still feel the things i do, but like, once a day, in one ocasion only.

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Yeah, excercise may not be the WHOLE cure but it's definitely part of it.

 

Excercise helps lower blood pressure, helps get your sleep rhythms more regular, keeps your GI function smoother, helps keep your mind working more clearly......I could go on and on. Excercise is KEY to a healthier body! You may still need additional support with meds/therapy, but keep up the excercise too!

 

I counsel people on nutrition; for some folks, like heart failure patients or people on dialysis, I explain that their treatment is like a three-legged stool. Each leg serves a purpose. The drugs are one leg, the diet is another leg and excercise is the third leg. Take any leg away and the stool wobbles.

Have all three legs in place and the stool stays steady.

 

Good luck! I'm glad you are facing your issues and trying to get a handle on them.

 

If you are very anxious, some nutrition advice I'd add is:

 

Avoid simple sugars, white breads, high-fructose corn syrup, colas, etc. (Change to 100% whole wheat or whole grain starches, the ingrediends list should include the word 'whole', drink water or seltzer beverages)

 

Limit or avoid caffeine and alcohol

 

Include leafy green vegetables and orange or red-colored vegetables in your diet (higher in nutrients; try red peppers, spinach, kale, escarole, dark green lettuces, carrots, pumpkin, etc) Try to get 5 servings per day of these (a serving is small, about 1/2 cup cooked or 1 cup raw)

 

Include low-glycemic fruits in your diet; cherries, blueberries, strawberries, oranges, plums, apples, Limit juice....whole fruit is better. Try to get 3-4 servings per day (a serving is 1 cup approximately)

 

Include heart-healthy fats, including fish oils, in your diet. Almonds and walnuts have many health benefits. Limit salmon to once per week to avoid mercury overload.

 

Take a multivitam. When you're under stress you may need extra nutrients.

 

Good luck!

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does gettin enough sleep help?

 

and is it true that teenagers need 11 hours of sleep minimum? (im a teen, and my mom alaways says that to me.)

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thank you all for taking up your time to help a kid like me. i feel alot better than i used to :) if i had the money, i would donate 120,000,000 dolars to this kind website that has such caring people.

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When I read that first part I was like "Wow, thats just about how I feel." Your not alone my friend. My only question is, why and when did this start. Was there a catalyst to this thing? I get nervous in large groups of people, probably because I dont know what to say, or think they won't like me, something like that. Anyway, write back!

 

Nick

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when i think about it, i think it all started like, sometime around 5th grade. i remembeer it getting worse and worse over the years as i was the class looser in elementry school and my friends started geting girlfreinds and abandoning me for them. what made me nuts is when i had a huge crush ona girl as a sophmore and she liked me but i was all nervous and gave off wrong signals and all hell broke loose. i wish i discoverd loveshack a long time ago..

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if i have discoverd this site 2 years ago, id prolly be wit her right now and still have all my friends. i wasted my whole youth being depressed. omg.. how can i forget this ever happend?

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what does all this mean? am i a dumb ass? or a big loser?

 

 

I don't think I'd discount any possability at this point.

 

After having read this thread, I too am wondering:

 

omg.. how can i forget this ever happend?
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