na49 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I was invited to go to my girlfriend's brothers wedding, and agreed to go. Partially because I felt like I had to. I don't have much of a relationship with her brother at all because I never see him or talk to him. I'm dreading going to this wedding now because I don't really know him at all, so I will feel very out of place. I am only there because I was invited by my girlfriend. Although I should be looking forward to having a night with my girlfriend and her family. I'm getting so nervous/anxious about seeing so many people who I don't know, who will have no idea who I am. I'm also afraid of coming off awkward and not being able to carry conversations with anyone. Anyone ever been in a similar situation? Or have advice? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Going into a new situation can make most people feel awkward. Don't sweat it. At a wedding most people want to reconnect with relatives they rarely see. Dealing with new people is an obligation so take some comfort in the fact that no one really cares about you. I don't say that in a mean spirited way but you are an after thought, not the main event. As long as you don't start a fist fight, you are probably fine. You also don't have to be a sparkling conversationalist. Banal things like "the bride looked lovely" "nice ceremony" or "aren't the center pieces pretty" will suffice for conversation. Focus on making your GF's day easier. Get her a drink. Fill her plate. Hold her purse. Open doors & pull out chairs. Dance with her & don't pout if she dances with others. You will be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Look at it exactly as you said it - a night out with your girlfriend. Trust me, you'll be barely noticeable (no offense, that's a good thing); all eyes are on the bride and her party. Have some good eats and drinks, just don't overdo the alcohol. You'll get thru it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 If you can't face family occasions, you will probably end up losing your gf pretty quickly. Your gf wants you to go, so you have qualities that she admires, so others may do also. Be confident in who you are and don't try to be what you are not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 I really needed to hear this point of view, and you're right. No one is really going to care about me, and that's how I want it. I just want to blend into the background and enjoy myself. I have no trouble talking to her parents, so that's not a problem. You're right though, I think I just needed a confidence shot. Thanks guys 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Tell her you'll go on the condition she not run off and leave you by yourself. I was similarly invited not long ago and I KNEW she'd be talking to everyone else but me so I told her "I hate weddings." She was trying to kill two birds with one stone. I wonder if she ever even went since she cancels at the last minute so often. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 na49 You will be fine but heed preraph's warning. She may disappear on you. If she does you can sit there; you can follow her; you can do a lap around the room; you can excuse yourself to the men's room; or you can make small talk with the dates of other people who got abandoned. All are valid choices. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 Tell her you'll go on the condition she not run off and leave you by yourself. I was similarly invited not long ago and I KNEW she'd be talking to everyone else but me so I told her "I hate weddings." She was trying to kill two birds with one stone. I wonder if she ever even went since she cancels at the last minute so often. Ironically this was another one of my concerns. She will obviously be in the wedding, so who I will sit with during the ceremony is something that I'm curious about. She loves to talk, and I'd expect her to want to catch up with the family members she hasn't seen much. It would leave me in a bad spot though. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 If she's IN the wedding, you are probably invited to the rehearsal dinner. there you will learn where you are supposed to sit during the ceremony etc. If you aren't given that info then, ask your GF before the event ends. I used to introduce myself to the other "dates" & ask if they wanted to hang out while the wedding party was busy. Most people were grateful that somebody else broke the ice & "fixed" it for everybody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 If she's IN the wedding, you are probably invited to the rehearsal dinner. there you will learn where you are supposed to sit during the ceremony etc. If you aren't given that info then, ask your GF before the event ends. I used to introduce myself to the other "dates" & ask if they wanted to hang out while the wedding party was busy. Most people were grateful that somebody else broke the ice & "fixed" it for everybody. I should have mentioned earlier, but I won't be able to go to the rehearsal dinner, and am sitting with her, her parents, aunt/uncle, and cousins. I didn't think about the fact that there would be other dates there, I'm not great at breaking the ice, but I am definitely capable of it when I am feeling good. I usually feel awesome afterwards too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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