Guys, Dating, Struggling & The Effects - My Story

[Hockster78]

I’m new here as a poster but have been a browser of the Love Shack forums for quite some time now. I found this website a few years back after doing some Google searches on the topic of love and relationships due to the problems I was having myself. I decided to sign up and post here today because I’ve read a lot of stories from guys saying how hard it is to find a girlfriend/relationship and how upsetting and frustrating this can be. I wanted to add my thoughts about this but it won’t be the normal relationship advice along the lines of confidence, manning up, just ask her etc. My story explains how far that upset and frustration can drive you and if by posting this, I help just one guy avoid what happened to me, this will have done its job.

 

I’m approaching 35 years old, have been single since I was 25 and have never had any great deal of success with women. I always wanted to have success but was the stereotypical shy guy who got overlooked as in many of the stories I’ve often read on here. I could never get any girl to look at me twice and at the age of 23, decided to lose my virginity to an escort. I’ll admit it wasn’t great. She was about the same age as me and I didn’t particularly enjoy it. It was certainly not how I had imagined I would lose my virginity but I’d decided that at 23, it was now or never. Ironically, a few months after that, I met my first girlfriend. I believe that losing my virginity had calmed me down a bit and she was probably attracted to a new relaxed me. It didn’t last though and after a few months together, we parted.

 

The following year, desperate to meet someone again I ended up dating a single Mum. This was definitely a rebound relationship although I didn’t see it that way at the time. That didn’t last either as her and I were headed in different directions in life. It was downhill from here really and I need you guys I mentioned above to pay attention… Between the ages of 25 and 34 as I am now, I suffered constant rejection from women and was always seen as not good enough. I tried and tried to meet someone but to no avail. It literally destroyed my confidence, I felt exactly as some of you guys do now and things got really bad. By the time I was 30, I’d given up all hope of ever meeting anyone. I was living alone, lonely and just wanted out of life. The lack of a relationship in my life had destroyed me within years.

 

At the beginning of this year, things came to a head. Spending Christmas and New Year alone for what was approaching my 10th year had become unbearable. In February 2013, I made plans to take my own life… So why am I still here you ask? Well, my Mum and Dad saved my life. They spoke to me about my relationship situation and how my life was. They helped me see a Doctor and they helped me seek out counselling. They helped me realise that rejection had driven me to a place I had no business being in. I had taken the whole relationship thing far too seriously and it had nearly killed me.

 

I’m now well on the road to recovery (although not fully there yet!) in a new relationship free life with a different state of mind about everything. And that’s what I wanted to post about. I read posts from younger guys on here and I see some of the path I took in their comments. I’m here to say, take a step back guys, don’t take it so seriously, there is more to life than having a girlfriend and definitely don’t let it kill you like it nearly did me. You can only really fully relate to what I’m saying if you’ve been there but for those of you that haven’t been that far yet, please, take note, don’t let it get that far. There honestly is more to life than Miss Right.

 

Hopefully I have posted this in the correct section but feel free to let me know if I haven’t. As I said, if this helps out just one guy, it’s done the job.

 

Thanks.

Edited May 8, 2013 by Hockster78
Removed font details.