Chibaby Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 I need help. I never feel secure about my relationship. I don't have self esteem issues with myself really, so this is strange. I like myself. I think I'm attractive, smart, funny and fun, but I worry that's not enough for him. I see my man quite a bit, but I always feel like he never really wants to see me as much as I want to see him. I want to be with him all the time, I'm crazy for him but I feel like he doesn't feel like that about me. (I know that that's impossible to be together 24/7 and everyone needs their space...I'm just so in love that I want to be with him every night. I want him to be that crazy for me too.) I never feel good (pretty, smart, sopisticated) enough for him. I've tried talking to my doctor about these feelings, but I can't seem to shake them, no matter what I do. I am just so sensitive. When my man is in a grumpy mood, I take it personally and freak out, feeling like he is going to break up with me. I also get upset because he doesn't like staying at my place during the week, only on weekends. (He's very intense about work). It seems like he enjoys spending time with me, but only when it's convenient for him. I usually accomodate this (because I want him so much) by staying at his place. When he does stay during the week, I feel really guilty, like I'm forcing him to. I feel like the only way I can feel secure with myself is if I break up with him, because then I won't have to worry about what he thinks of me, how he feels or what he does, but I don't want to do that! I'd be losing one hellofa man. I must be driving him insane( not to mention myself)! I don't want to ruin our relationship because of my insecurities and low self esteem. I don't want to keep fighting with him about time issues. I want to know I'm worth it to him without him constantly having to tell me so! I want a man who works hard for me because he's head over heels. I don't want to make him prove it all the time by squabbling! Help me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chibaby Posted May 14, 2004 Author Share Posted May 14, 2004 PS- I really love him and I don't want to keep pushing him away until he finally leaves...someone please help! Link to post Share on other sites
knapsack Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Hey You, My girlfriend of 5 years is the same way. she's 24 and very insecure about a lot of things. We've always been a really lovey couple. I love being with her, She's my love, My girl, my good thing. I love being with her ALL the time and she's the same way. She's always on my mind to this day and I love surprising her, doing things with her etc. She's really loving towards me, always wants to be with me etc. It would worry me a bit in the beginning only because i wanted her to be able to have HER time. I like having my time, but not too much. I know a lot of guys and some of my buddies who aren't like me. Some of them will say "Dang, My girl is constantly on me, I can never get a free moment to hang with the boys" or they'll say their girls are too needy or whatever. I can't complain. I'm not whipped or anything. But I more enjoy a quiet evening at home with my girl, than a night out drinking with the boys. I cherish what we have some guys don't, or they'll feel too smothered. I'm a totally understanding guy and very loving and into love. So I have no problem with it. We have broken up 2 times. Both times we couldn't stay away from each other, we knew we were meant to be. Both times were becuz of her though. She felt she had given so much of her time to me over the years that she felt unhappy about what she had done with her life college-wise, career-wise etc etc. She felt like she wasn't her own person for a while, just with me all the time. But eventually she realized she could balance the two becuz she loves me so much. Just always be aware of yourself. Take care of yourself too. Be mindful of your goals and aspirations and don't feel bad if you feel NEEDY or like you want to be with your guy all the time. Just know that a lot of guys aren't like that. They like to have their space and like to party and some are really into their jobs and will take jobs over love(which I don't really agree with myself) Just protect yourself. Don't overgive your love or be taken advantage of. Oh yeah, And don't be under-appreciated. If your guy doesn't like so much time with you, He's not your guy. Link to post Share on other sites
knapsack Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 If he's not giving you what you need, Then maybe he's not the guy for you. You shouldn't have to force him to do anything. It's okay to be insecure every now and then. (like i said, my girl is the same way, i always need to tell her I love her...but I don't mind because i DO love her) But don't obsess over it. If he's one Helluva man like you say, Then there should be no problems. He has to work to keep you happy too. Don't ever sell yourself short on anything. If you have to have too many demands on him for what YOU need, He may not be the guy for you or you may have to back off a bit. Just look at it with clear eyes and relax. Don't get too worried or excited over it. But if he's too into his job, doesn;t have enough time for you or isn;t meeting your normal, healthy needs, he may not be the guy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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