robaday Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Im a bloke in my thirties. Good job, relatively good looking, pretty fit (exercise daily), and popular with women and men. Trouble is, Im too quiet, too reserved. I dont feel like a leader, nor the life of the party, nor much of a "man" if you are thinking of the louder more macho types. And Ive realised over the years that its held me back, socially, professionally and relationship wise. Guess Im the guy whos always out, always up for nights out, or chatting with friends. But Im a conversationalist, not a dancer, a spectator not a player etc etc etc. Coming out of a bad relationship, Ive gone on dates and Ive wanted to show the girl a really good time, be really outgoing and fun......and Ive realised Im not! Im deep and introverted. And ya know I want to be louder, I want to be a leader, more masculine, more assertive, essentially to let go and have fun. Always have an inner voice telling me Im better at being the cool, slightly aloof guy, I wont go on a dancefloor cause my dancing is awful and Id be worried about what people thought, I wont go try boxing because Im scared of looking like an idiot. Essentially I want to "get over myself". My last relationship, where I allowed someone to cross so many boundaries and essentially control me, has made me realise deep down Im weak, and a follower not a leader.......so help please! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 The way you describe yourself, I think you sound awesome and you say that you are really popular with men and women as you are now. I think you're past relationship is making you feel insecure. It doesn't sound like you actually have much to be insecure about at all. If you want to put yourself out there a little more and give new things a go, I think that's great, but it doesn't matter if you are the 'deep and quiet' guy rather than the party animal. I actually personally love the deep and quiet guy! You might not be able to be anymore of a crazy party animal than the crazy party animal could be deep and introspective. We are what we are But I guess just give it a try for a day or night, and see how comfortable you feel with this 'new you'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author robaday Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 Thanks Nikki Sahagin for your kind comment.....guess been reading the Power of Now and it has really made me question the way Ive been living my life, surrounded by barriers and constant thoughts, preventing me from truly enjoying things. Feel disconnected to the real world sometimes, lost in my own thoughts/head, and sometimes wish I had a better grip on the things around me!! can write 2000 word articles in no time....but ask me to tie my shoe laces or find directions somewhere is a completely different matter!! Maybe its just a case of pushing my own boundaries more, trying new things, forcing myself to be more outgoing, will change this introspection to more socialisation..... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts