Depression

[kindest]

There may already be a thread on this topic but I can't find it, so here goes...

 

I am a woman who just turned 30 years old. I have never had therapy so I cannot confirm whether I do have depression but I have the sinking feeling that I am suffering from this condition.

 

I have been depressed I think for more than a year now, although there were periods in the past year when I genuinely felt happy, but a few events have brought me further down. I am the kind of person who has a hard time getting over an unfortunate event and takes me months, or even years to recover.

 

I have lost the energy to enjoy things I usually found enjoyable. I lost my drive and passion in my job, a job that I used to be in love with. I rarely see my friends, the people closest to me, and they have noticed this too. I think about my ex who broke up with me 6 months ago. I cry several times a day, no matter where I am, alone in my room and sometimes in random public places. It may be silly and I'm even embarrassed to admit it but my breakup with my ex is one of the root causes of what I am feeling.

 

I just want to hear from those who have suffered or are still suffering from this condition and how they have coped. I now am seriously considering seeking professional help but this is something that scares me because I have never done that before. I know I would have to reveal some skeletons in my closet, and this is something I usually avoid talking about (especially childhood wounds, etc).

 

I feel that I am severely damaged, and I need help.

Edited August 20, 2012 by kindest

[whichwayisup]

I do agree, you need to seek some counselling. Depression can get worse if not treated.

 

Please talk to your family and friends, let them know what's going on with you.

 

I suffered anxiety and panic attacks quietly, and didn't ask for help until I thought I was going to go crazy. The best thing I did was talk to my husband, my mom, the rest of my family and some close friends. Support is so important, you need people to rely on to help you through this.

 

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is the type of counselling I did. It helped me understand why I was suffering from anxiety, learned to fight the anxiety and deal with issues from my past and worries about the future that caused me anxiety and depression as well. talk therapy rocks!

 

I'm an open book so feel free to ask me anything.

 

I hope you feel better soon and please talk to a professional. You can get your life back.

[kindest]

I am not comfortable talking to my friends or family about what I'm going through. I will never be able to truly open up to them without the fear of being judged.

 

I googled a crisis hotline. I think when worst comes to worst I might call. But the possibility of calling them is making me uncomfortable. Maybe in the meantime this could help while I go look for a psychiatrist I can talk to. I feel really apprehensive about this.

 

But I am scared of getting worse. We have a history of mental illness that runs in our family, I have two aunts (sisters) who were diagnosed with schizophrenia. I am terrified that this runs in my blood.

 

All my fears are totally crippling me.

[Yamaha]

Getting Help for Mental Disorders | Here to Help, A BC Information Resource for Individuals and Families Managing Mental Health or Substance Use Problems

 

Please ge the help you need!

[kindest]

I just found something online (about my ex) that hit me hard.

 

This is it. Is this what 'rock bottom' is? I think it is.

[whichwayisup]

I am not comfortable talking to my friends or family about what I'm going through. I will never be able to truly open up to them without the fear of being judged.

 

I googled a crisis hotline. I think when worst comes to worst I might call. But the possibility of calling them is making me uncomfortable. Maybe in the meantime this could help while I go look for a psychiatrist I can talk to. I feel really apprehensive about this.

 

But I am scared of getting worse. We have a history of mental illness that runs in our family, I have two aunts (sisters) who were diagnosed with schizophrenia. I am terrified that this runs in my blood.

 

All my fears are totally crippling me.

 

I'm not saying tell them anything that you would discuss in counseling, that's private and between you and your therapist. I meant telling someone about your depression, someone to rely on when you need a hug, need a friend just to be there so you won't feel so alone.. When my anxiety got really bad, there were days I couldn't even go out far on my own yet having someone with me made me feel safer. Just think about telling one person, whether it be a family member or a friend. They all love and care about you.

 

I do get the not wanting to be judged, talked about etc but this is serious stuff, especially since mental illness runs in your family, all the more reason to be aware, get help before it gets worse.

 

May I ask how old you are?

 

All I know is, at some point in life, most suffer from bouts of anxiety, depression etc, and it can be dealt with by meds and counselling. Please speak to your family Dr, they can recommend someone for you.

 

I am sorry that you are going through this, just know you're not alone. Do call that hotline if need be.

[whichwayisup]

I just found something online (about my ex) that hit me hard.

 

This is it. Is this what 'rock bottom' is? I think it is.

 

Then there's no where to go but UP. Hugs to you.

 

PS No more googling your ex. Delete him from facebook too. That just brings more pain that you don't need to deal with.

[kindest]

@whichwayisup

 

I just turned 30.

 

I'm beginning to feel so desperate. Posting here is what's helping me let all my emotions out in the meantime.

 

It's hard for me to swallow that people can be so heartless and cruel. I know this may all just be self-pity but I can't help but feel this way.

 

Thank you so much for your kind words.

Edited August 20, 2012 by kindest

[whichwayisup]

You're very welcome.. I know how alone and scary this is, so do keep posting on here, nobody knows who you are and it's okay to vent away. Especially since it makes you feel better.

 

Are you saying that if you told some friends and family, they'd turn on you? Make you feel bad? Or is that something you're just scared they might do/react?

 

There are some really good books, google Dr David Burns. Or Sam Obitz (been there, done that, try this) all related to anxiety and depression and are very helpful.

[kindest]

I feel embarrassed I guess. I feel that I am way too sensitive for something to affect me this way. I don't like the feeling of being judged, or being pitied.

 

I have always had problems opening up to people. I am an introvert.

 

I am not close to my family. I have a dysfunctional relationship with my father. My relationship with my brothers and mother okay but I never open up to them. I don't feel comfortable opening up to them.

 

I know I'm not alone, but I feel it.

 

I am not happy with work, and it's weird because I used to be in love with what I do. I don't get paid a lot and I have no savings. And to make matters worse, thoughts of my ex keep playing over and over in my head. It's like I'm addicted to being depressed about what happened to us.

 

I know there are things I can do to improve my life but I do not have any motivation to move forward.

[kindest]

I am feeling a little better, I guess LS has helped a lot. But i do still have some reoccuring negative thoughts that just wouldn't go away.

 

I haven't gone to therapy yet. I just have no time (and money) but do you guys still think it's necessary. Maybe I was overreacting the other day.

 

Thoughts, anyone?

[StrangeBehaviors]

It is "normal" to have highs and lows for everyone. So you could have been having a low point and posted here.

 

When the lows go on too long and begin interfering with everyday life/responsibilities...then it might be time for help from a counselor of some type.

 

Could be friend, clergy, licensed therapist, online forum. <True. Which could be why you feel some better now.

 

A proven help for depression (statistically for the majority) is exercise in sunlight. You might have to force yourself to do it, but it can help tremendously.

[head/heels]

how are you doing? did you do anything with therapy?

[shadowbox]

Sorry if this was already mentioned, but have you considered going first to a general MD for a check up to rule out medical reasons? I also have battled with what is the first step to treating depression, but I think a general exam may be a good start.