Al Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 Do you ever think back to what you thought you would be or where you thought you would be at this point in your life? I guess I'm going through a phase right now or maybe it's a rut but I'm just not happy with where I am in life right now. Five years ago, I would have said "in five years I bet I'll be married, have kids, have a good job, etc." and I'm none of that. I hate my job, I wish I was married but my guy doesn't have the money yet for the ring he wants to buy me and I'm wishing I would have gone to college for something different so I'm looking at starting all over. I work two jobs right now just to get by and I guess that's not what I had invisioned life to be like. Anyone else ever feel like this and if so, how do you get back on track or keep yourself thinking positive. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 ALL THE TIME. I ignore the feeling and do what I need to do. I never would have dreamed that my life would be what it is. It was never a possibility I considered. I'm happy now, but if I try to imagine the 18 y/o me looking at the 48 y/o me, the 18 y/o me would hide in a basement crying uncontrolably until I died! Link to post Share on other sites
midlifecrisis Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 I'm sure many people go through this. Just look at my user-name, and you can see that I was feeling that way big-time very recently. When I hit the big 40, my feelings were bouncing all over the place. Materialistically speaking, I don't have very much -- but I am fortunate to have 2 great kids and an ex-Wife who helps me take excellent care of them. Now.... if I can only get a handle on relationships.... the one main thing I feel is missing from my life right now is having a "partner in crime".... ;^) Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 yeah, it's something we do a lot: look at our lives and reassess and compare where we are and what we have to what's not there ... it's fruitless though, unless it motivates you to do something different or to grab what you want with both hands. ... funny, I used to dread turning 40 (I have no idea why, just did), but now I'm kind of looking forward to it because I promised I would do something fun, but challenging to mark the occasion, like learn to play the clarinet. Call me a geek, but I like to think it will add something really quirky to my life's resume, something unexpected but within my control, you know? And that's enough to banish those thoughts of restlessness or feeling bad because I don't measure up to whatever standards i think I've got to have. just have fun with yourself and take pride in what you HAVE accomplished. It's something that no one can ever take away from you ... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Oh, hell yes! LOL. That's the thing - you really can't plan because Life seems to have another plan for you entirely. Best thing to do is develop resiliency and the ability to adapt and then hang on tight 'cause the ride gets REAL bumpy! Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 ~ "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon I think it's important to have goals and strive for them, but if you don't reach them - well, perhaps they weren't the right goals for you, or you didn't give yourself enough time to achieve them. Look at life in terms of what's good about it, not in terms of what you thought you'd like to have now. You have a man who wants to marry you and is planning to, once he has money. That's GREAT! You have two jobs and are able to support yourself. That's also GREAT! You CAN get some more education if you choose to, right? Why not focus on this, if that's what you'd like to do? I look back at my life and dislike it all the time. But, I try to focus on the positive sides and the present, and set goals for the future. my 2c. best of luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 I can't tell you how much I am so frustrated with myself. I hope the New Year will be so much different and hopefully a positive one, but I can relate to you. I expected more from myself. Not living at home, being in my field, living in another state, being content with my life. But I don;t have any of that so far. I have a job that I thought I would have been out of 2 or 3 months in and I am still there, and it is hitting the 6th month of being there. So, I am totally frustrated with myself. But, I am going to do everything in my power to get myself stable in 2004. I have to for myself. Things will look up. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Yep, yep, and YEP! I always thought I would die when I was 32! Passed that. I thought I'd marry someone and be a stay-at-home mom with 4 or 5 kids. I married and my husband is disabled so I have to work. Now that I think about working vs. staying home -- I would be bored out of my mind at home! I would not have the education I have. So in that respect I am very happy that it worked out the way it did. I'm a better person for it and I'm able to take care of my mom now when she needs me. I wanted to travel and have adventures. No adventure could possibly be as stimulating, as scary, or as satisfying as the unknown adventure of life. But I know what you mean -- looking back at the things we wanted to do can be sad -- but we have to look at the things we HAVE done and be glad. It IS a wonderful life Clarence! Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Sure do! But as the others have said, life is like that. You will end up achieving things you thought you wouldn't, and you won't do some of the things you thought you would. Plus, your goals and who you are will change anyway. Overall, I'm very happy with the life I have lived, all its ups and downs, even if I'm not quite where I thought I would be- I've ended up somewhere good anyway! And it's never too late to start doing the things you want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 I have changed careers four times in the last 12 years, some have been radical changes doing things I never considered EVER doing (fixing computers, telesales) - and I finally started getting jobs related to my college degree. And I would never have obtained my present job without practically ALL of the skills and experience I gained from all the seemingly unrelated jobs I had - go figure! You just never know what can happen and sometimes that is frightening or depressing but so many times it's been energizing - life is so FULL of possibilities! Don't despair, just keep trying to improve yourself - it will all fall into place. Maybe not on your timetable and maybe not as you expected but keep the faith, it'll all work out. This is the time of year when you can get excited about making a fresh start or recommitting to your dreams. I'm going to! 2003 was a tough year but 2004 looks really promising. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 If it'll give anyone 'hope'.....let me say this: Last December, I was unemployed, I was overweight, I was totally devastated over my engagement which didn't pan out...to make it worse...he was shipped to Iraq/Kuwait. I barely had Christmas money for my children. I was so depressed....I wished I would've gotten smacked by a truck to put me out of my misery!!! I felt every area of my life was an utter failure. Just breathing was a chore!!! A year later, I have the job of my dreams, make GREAT money ($1500 a week is great for ME anyway), I lost weight and look pretty damn good, I'm surrounded by 100's of sailors, have dated some great guys...and I'm almost healed from the devasted relationship from hell. There are still kinks from time to time....but overall.....my life did a total turn about. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life. TRUST ME....however you are feeling now....can all be different one year from today!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 I'm only 17 and i often wonder if i'll ever be satisfied, wholly and completely. Some parts of me say, well, i hope not, because if i am wholly satisfied then i would not be spurred on to change and grow... as well as becoming complacent which is not good because then the fall is much more painful. but the other part of me says, being only semi-immersed in life seems like such a waste and i want to find myself, and be satisfied, wholly and completely. Link to post Share on other sites
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