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Hi all,

 

I've been down, for a while (about a year or two). I feel lonely, yet don't feel like seeing anyone, I'm quite a solitary type and had enough of myself, I hardly ever meet people I have anything in common with and I can not really open up to anyone - so the best I end up with is small-talk I consider a waste of my breath....

 

I have no real reason to be down (if you can call it that) I have everything I ever set out to achieve in my life and more (intellectually, personally, professionally, financially). I'm grateful to have my health (and fitness), few people I care about (and their health) although my parents live far away and I have no family here except of BF. Technically - I'm happy, I just don't feel it....

 

I feel fundamentally lonely and like a huge f@#$ing looser. Has anyone here gone through the same ?

 

I can not pinpoint a reason. But I do want to fix this before it becomes destructive.

 

I'm sorry if this message is a big incoherent, it took a big glass of red wine to get it out....

 

Any advice ?

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Eddie Edirol

heres advice.

 

if you already have a BF, then you need a new hobby. maybe if you have a hobby already, see if theres a club for it.

 

Try something new. Salsa dancing, chess club, scrabble meets, something.

 

Maybe youre secretly looking for marriage and a family?

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Feelin Frisky

Perhaps you feel more capable than what you output has been until now and are coming to wonder if you do something "more" or "special" with your life. I have experienced this and it has taken me to some interesting places. I out myself out following a creative vision and found myself a human bridge between traditionally separate theaters of human activity. It's given me the belief that I can create a "convergence technology" that will change how people think about some important things and I've been trying to encompass it all before I seek help to bring this creative brainchild to the next level. It seems there always more to it though. But I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

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I'm in longer term quite stable and balanced relationship, however - I would never expect another person to be responsible for my happiness (or lack thereof), it is within me.

 

I do miss my parents living far away, marriage was never on the agenda (we live together for over 7 years - whether city-hall clerks like it or not...). No kids - simply not my thing.

 

A hobby would be more like it, but my problem is not boredom, it is this hanging blue undertone without a reason.... this is why it is so frustrating... I have no idea why !! The way I feel even contradicts itself : on one hand I eel lonely - on the other I don't feel like seeing anyone..

 

I suppose many people go through midlife crisis, I was hoping someone here would describe what they felt and how it was identified and dealt with.

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silvermane187

Have you tried giving back to your community in any way? Giving other people a little joy can go a long way. Or so I hear.

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Feeling FRisky : although this description has my curiosity, it is a bit.. ahum.. vague. would you please clarify some specifics ?

 

Silvermane : Yes - I heard that too :) true and true, however in this tiny-town where I live there is no real community, and definitely not an English speaking one.... A friend of mine from the gym has done some volunteer-work and was not really enjoying it : she was not allowed to interact with people, and in spite of her high education (and ability to contribute much more of her professional knowledge and skills) she was required to commit to a weekly schedule of cleaning work which none of the paid staff (elderly home) wanted to do.... When I heard that it put me off a little...

 

In the meantime even here in northern Europe, spring has finally arrived... luckily there is a beautiful nature park opposite our house. While normally I do all my training at the gym, a 3 km walk outside made me feel happy in a way I almost forgot...

How can I tell when the blues are over...?

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skydiveaddict

How can I tell when the blues are over...?

 

 

Go skydiving my friend. Your blues will be over.

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