I am very passionate about improving upon something and bf is not

[SweetD]

I am a college student taking an Environmental Studies class and it has really opened my eyes to the level and rate at which we are destroying the earth. In fact, the statistics are quite anxiety producing. I have always been somewhat environmentally conscious, knowing that nature is where I find my peace and balance, it has always been something I want to leave little footprint upon.

 

That being said, I am still a typical American. I have my own car, I sometimes drive 30 minutes round trip to work or school and use things like paper towels, diapers for my daughter, etc. In other words, I am by no means perfect. However, I am realizing the devastating effect this can have and I want to change. I really truly do. That is why I am taking the bus to school now and have stopped using paper towels and other similar things completely. I am nowhere near where I want to be but removing the glasses of ignorance and taking small steps is a start...

 

The problem lies in the fact that my boyfriend thinks the information I tell him about the destruction of the Earth is more or less "hogwash." He is not afraid of what may come, nor does he have any intention of changing his ways. This is extremely frustrating because it is something I am increasingly passionate about with each passing day. It is like our minds and lifestyles are traveling down two different paths. I want him to see the facts the way I see them and allow them to change his life.

 

This might all sound very mumbo jumbo-ey but I really would like some feedback....

Edited September 29, 2010 by SweetD

[USMCHokie]

The problem lies in the fact that my boyfriend thinks the information I tell him about the destruction of the Earth is more or less "hogwash." He is not afraid of what may come, nor does he have any intention of changing his ways. This is extremely frustrating because it is something I am increasingly passionate about with each passing day. It is like our minds and lifestyles are traveling down two different paths.

 

This may be the beginning of what becomes a fundamental incompatibility. LAUNCH.

 

 

I want him to see the facts the way I see them and allow them to change his life.

 

This might even be grounds for him to LAUNCH you...

[skydiveaddict]

This may be the beginning of what becomes a fundamental incompatibility. LAUNCH.

 

 

 

 

This might even be grounds for him to LAUNCH you...

 

 

Not so fast my friend. Cant two people have differing views without breaking up?

[USMCHokie]

Not so fast my friend. Cant two people have differing views without breaking up?

 

Perhaps, but from OP's words, it seems that this is a make or break issue for her...

 

"It is like our minds and lifestyles are traveling down two different paths."

 

"...nor does he have any intention of changing his ways."

 

Unless they can reach some sort of compromise on this issue, which seems unlikely as they are both strong personalities, it may cause resentment down the line.

[Ruby Slippers]

Given that you are a college student, this is not a great sign. When people are your age, they tend to think they know everything and their convictions are unshakable. It's only when you get older and mature that you start to see all the shades of grey. Both you and your boyfriend are probably going to be stubborn about your points of view.

 

Now, if your boyfriend is being rude about your newfound passion, that's just not cool. If he's not at all open to learning more about something you are so passionate about, that's also not cool.

 

But if he is simply passionate about different things, and respectful of your interests, this doesn't have to be a deal breaker.

[Green]

let me explain something to you... If you have a kid and your bf does not you have already done way more statisticly speaking to ruin the environment then he has.

 

Let me also explain something to you just because you took the class and understand certain things doesn't mean you explained it to him properly. I personaly like using paper towls but I use them sparingly. Like I bough a pack of paper towels and its going on 2 years now and still I havn't even half used them up.

 

It really helps when an individual person cuts down their use of things even by a small percent. Really I think ur bf should be more sensetive to ur new found awareness and look into it for himself.

[TaraMaiden]

It's all very well wanting to save the environment, but understand that there are two sides to every story.

One of the biggest culprits is the oceans.

And bovine methane doesn't help, either.

 

Did you know that?

 

Did you also know that global warming is down to sun flares?

These have been going on regularly since time began.... as have ice ages.....

have you been taught any of this?

 

(By the way, you will be able to find equally convincing arguments to counter all of the above links and contradict them.....)

 

First of all, perfect your own behaviour and then you can expect to demand the same form others.

Much on global warming is propaganda. Live life responsibly and know that at one point, you will die. Along with everybody else.

And your dying will necessitate your body being disposed of responsibly.

How will you deal with that?

 

Sort out all your own answers, and verify all your facts.

Then find someone who thinks like you.

because wanting to change somebody's mind to compel them to agree with you, simply because of what you believe, and simply because you think you're right - is not a reason of any worth, at all.

[Lovely326]

By no means am I an expert but how much do you love your bf? Why does he have to agree with you? I mean I care about mother nature and all that stuff but if I had a car, no I wouldnt want to drive the bus to school. You can agree to disagree. If you truly care for him, you will learn to let this go. He doesn't feel the way you feel about nature and he doesnt have to. Accept that and move forward. Two people dont have to share the same ideas 100%. We are all different.

[SweetD]

Given that you are a college student, this is not a great sign. When people are your age, they tend to think they know everything and their convictions are unshakable. It's only when you get older and mature that you start to see all the shades of grey. Both you and your boyfriend are probably going to be stubborn about your points of view.

 

Now, if your boyfriend is being rude about your newfound passion, that's just not cool. If he's not at all open to learning more about something you are so passionate about, that's also not cool.

 

But if he is simply passionate about different things, and respectful of your interests, this doesn't have to be a deal breaker.

 

Well yes I am a college student but I am a returning student. Im 26 and have a child...I'm sure I have many more life changing experiences ahead of me but I'd like to think of myself as fairly mature. To the person who said I have done more damage to the earth because I have a kid, I'd like to point out that my bf has a child also.

 

Anyways Ruby Slippers I think you are on to a major point. My boyfriend does have other passions in life: namely playing football and sports broadcasting (he is returning to school next semester to pursue a degree in journalism). Its just different. He completely respects my point of view, but whenever I bring it up he gets quiet. When I ask why he says "I just disagree." I guess thats the infuriating part. But I realize he isn't being an a** about it. People on here would be lying to say they don't have something they are passionate about that it upsets them when others disagree. And its hardest because he is my bf.

[SweetD]

It's all very well wanting to save the environment, but understand that there are two sides to every story.

One of the biggest culprits is the oceans.

And bovine methane doesn't help, either.

 

Did you know that?

 

Did you also know that global warming is down to sun flares?

These have been going on regularly since time began.... as have ice ages.....

have you been taught any of this?

 

(By the way, you will be able to find equally convincing arguments to counter all of the above links and contradict them.....)

 

First of all, perfect your own behaviour and then you can expect to demand the same form others.

Much on global warming is propaganda. Live life responsibly and know that at one point, you will die. Along with everybody else.

And your dying will necessitate your body being disposed of responsibly.

How will you deal with that?

 

Sort out all your own answers, and verify all your facts.

Then find someone who thinks like you.

because wanting to change somebody's mind to compel them to agree with you, simply because of what you believe, and simply because you think you're right - is not a reason of any worth, at all.

 

My point when I go off on my "tangents" is not to prove or disprove global warming, sunspots etc. As you pointed out, scientists have been trying to hash this out for decades now.

 

My point when I go off on my tangents is to explain that humans are consuming and disposing of natural resources faster than the earth can re-sustain itself. We don't even need facts, or science, or statitstics to "prove" this correct. All we need to do is look at the rainforest, depleted by 1/3 over the last 40 years. Or see the never ending sprawl of suburbs popping up. The consumption of resources, coupled with an ever increasing population, makes our current lifestyles unsustainable. Can we not correct our behavior now before it is too late for future generations? I sure hope so.

 

I am not so concerned with why our planet is getting warmer. None of that will matter if we run out of energy, supplies or food, at all.

[SweetD]

By no means am I an expert but how much do you love your bf? Why does he have to agree with you? I mean I care about mother nature and all that stuff but if I had a car, no I wouldnt want to drive the bus to school. You can agree to disagree. If you truly care for him, you will learn to let this go. He doesn't feel the way you feel about nature and he doesnt have to. Accept that and move forward. Two people dont have to share the same ideas 100%. We are all different.

 

And ps I love my boyfriend a lot. Best, most healthy relationship I've ever been in I'd never break up with him over it, but I am allowed to get a little frustrated, right?

[skydiveaddict]

We don't even need facts, or science, or statitstics

 

 

I hope you're not serious . We no longer need facts or science? Do you know how ignorant that sounds? Instead we will rely on your emotional outbursts to determine the fate of the planet? And what of your bf's relationship with you ? Will this also depend on your emotional state as well? To hell with his opinions right? Just as long as he agrees with you, regardless of your useless information.

Grow up

Edited October 1, 2010 by skydiveaddict

[SweetD]

You know, there was once a time when I frequented Loveshack daily. Now when I come on here, its once in a blue moon just to browse...and once in a while just to vent. Key word: vent.

 

I don't understand then, if this is a freqented place of "venting" people, why others see fit to make snapshot judgements of a person's whole based on a few ranting lines. Telling me to 'grow up?' Hmmm

 

Maybe Im just feeling particularly defensive today. But it does seem worse on here lately...

[SweetD]

And just to clarify, I was a member under a different name awhile ago

[skydiveaddict]

Y Telling me to 'grow up?' Hmmm

 

Maybe Im just feeling particularly defensive today. But it does seem worse on here lately...

 

 

Without facts? You think that's offensive? Please state your case. I don't mean to be offensive in anyway. But saying no evidence is necessary is a bit shallow, don't you think?

[SweetD]

Without facts? You think that's offensive? Please state your case. I don't mean to be offensive in anyway. But saying no evidence is necessary is a bit shallow, don't you think?

 

When I said we don't need facts or evidence, I didn't mean it literally per se. What I meant to emphasize was the fact that this is happening right in front of our eyes, no need to go digging in science journals. We can see high polluting industries if we travel to the cities, we can see wal marts popping up on every corner, we can see just how consumer-driven our culture is simply by flippin on the tv. In a sense, we can see that the standards of American living are continually increasing. We don't need "evidence" in the traditional sense, we simply need our five senses. Its the equivalent of saying "You don't need to be a rocket scientist to..."

 

It is quite an intuitive concept actually. If we realize that earths resources are finite, and it is met with ever-increasing demands, problems will occur. With the amount of non-biodegradable products used today, along with an ever-increasing population, its no wonder that this consumption and waste pattern is destructive.

[Ruby Slippers]

SweetD, given that you have a great relationship with him, I think you need to let this go. Go on expressing your enthusiasm for the cause, but don't give your guy a hard time if he does not share your excitement. People's awareness of world issues like these fluctuates over a lifetime.

 

If you need to bond with people over this, get involved in some environmental groups. I hope you're not making the mistake a lot of people make and expecting your boyfriend to be your sole source of social and emotional connection.

 

I'm always getting invited to political, social improvement events, after volunteering briefly in the Obama campaign. I haven't had time to go to one yet, but I imagine that something like this would be a great way to make some friends with similar political and social perspectives. Greenpeace, The Nature Conservancy, sustainability group on campus, etc.