I need sex, love, self-esteem, happiness.

[AmItheOnlyOne]

And I'm a guy

 

I think I have issues with, not so much my manliness, but my emotional sensitivity.

 

I blamed it on the fact I grew up with a dominating female family, and no dialog with the pops. I had a very "Oprah" like family. What I mean, I always feel as though I'm on the set of the View when I am around my family--that's what I was raised in.

 

So I heard and took in a lot of what they were talking about. Mostly men, talking about my sisters boyfriends, etc. Their social lives.

 

I was the baby brother. I stayed quiet. I don't really stand out amongst them, I don't speak up.

 

 

Imagine them talking about people, and I walk in the room.. everyone stops and sort of changes personality... like, oh.. let's talk basketball or, whatever.

 

It seemed so stupid and fake.

 

Like how.. ever since a child... I could not just say, people, I WANT SEX. That is all I really care about. I am a male, young, and horny. I want some skanks. I want to eat some a55 and, you see those ghetto hoodrats over there? That's what I want right now....

 

 

I feel like screaming that every single time I'm with them.

 

 

Because I am.. well.. I'm like, I look like a baby.. and the treat me like one.

 

 

But I go out with my friends.. and OUT THERE I feel fine. Confident.. social, normal.

 

 

I feel like.. in a way, I am a shy liberal and they are extraverted conservatives. Or maybe the other way around. I don't even know what those truly mean. Not politically .. I don't give a crap about that. But, a sense of.. say attitudes towards.. guys with tats vs. the clean cut guys.

 

 

So, their way of living prevails. Because they are louder, more vocal... they set the tone..

 

Whereas, I feel... trapped and unable to really set a tone.. to be more, not like The View.

 

To be more like the Man Show.

 

 

I hate watching sports with them cause the women are the ones trying to be all knowledgeable. The men in my family are all... like totally defeated socially to the women. They're like grown up nerd boys. But the women are like, the ones drinking and schmoozing and going out...

 

Yet, despite them being with all those douchy men out there, they talk to me like... "We're soooooooooooooo glad you're not like THEM"

 

 

Wait.. like them?? But look, THEM are gettting YOU. They are gettting laid. They are being confident.

 

 

I am NOT confident. And you are saying.. this is good??

 

 

I just wish I either had more dudes in my family, or that I was taller, or that I had a younger sis/bro, or that I just leave them and get a new family.

 

But, in reality, all I can do is.. move away, live in this apartment, and I basically no longer really have a family--in spirit.

 

I'm just alone... on my own.. and, in a way, this issue has given me a insecurity and "ugliness" that makes me also avoid dating/friends.

 

 

So, now I also have no social life.

 

 

I know it's my fault, but I feel... I seriously got screwed at birth.

 

 

I just want to meet some girl online, who's like.. mega slutty, and marry her, and put it on my facebook... and that will be their lasting impression of me.

 

Ahhh.. I'm such a child. Yet, I'm fully aware of it. I'm actually more.. "smart".. so I know what I'm doing.

 

Anyway thanks for listening, and chime in any thoughts you might relate to.

 

I rather just do this than pay some a55hole to pretend to listen.

Edited September 25, 2010 by AmItheOnlyOne

[shayan]

This is going to sound rough, but you sound like you are nagging the entire time. I am also 21 and the youngest and the only boy out of 3. Dude, you are not socially isolated and unhappy because of your family. You are because you spent most of your life wishing your family was something they aren't and then blaming them for raising you to be un-bold. You won't to be more bold and have sex with cute girls, well then you have to build your own set of skills from the bottom up and go out there and use them.

[AmItheOnlyOne]

This is going to sound rough, but you sound like you are nagging the entire time. I am also 21 and the youngest and the only boy out of 3. Dude, you are not socially isolated and unhappy because of your family. You are because you spent most of your life wishing your family was something they aren't and then blaming them for raising you to be un-bold. You won't to be more bold and have sex with cute girls, well then you have to build your own set of skills from the bottom up and go out there and use them.

 

I know, I'm totally nagging. But, I guess.. I'm trying to figure out why I want to nag so much.

 

Are you're older siblings all sisters? Do you have any type of male/guy relationship in your family?

 

Just asking. I'm trying to figure this out. I'm seeing if there's a connection to ALL female influence within the family, and "nagging/whining" tendencies to the guy.

 

Also.. at 21 I was on it too... like you.

 

I built my skills on my own and was doing fine... This was not so much an issue until my later 20's as I found myself still single and feeling less able to really feel good around the older single guys, because I felt, well.. "soft" inside, like a sensitive bunny.