"meeting up with people" anxiety

[NoReason]

Sorry this post was dumb and embarassing and they don't let you delete.

 

Well .. in short.. I was saying I want to go meet up with some people off craigslist for this music thing, but I'm flaking out now. I'm shy, nervous, anxious, thinking they won't like me, etc.

 

I'll just leave it as that... the rest was too personal Thanks.

Edited August 19, 2010 by NoReason
embarassment

[skydiveaddict]

Aw c'mon, spit it out

[NoReason]

Sorry.. I'm having a convo with myself.. ughh

Edited August 20, 2010 by NoReason

[Nikki Sahagin]

OP, feel free to express how you truly feel. I feel the same, only I know I suffer with free-floating anxiety/social anxiety/panic disorder. I get nervous about things that I don't think even phase normal people and its hell. Tell us what you are really feeling.

[Dooda]

I think he feels nervous around people, not music.

Feel free to say what you want.

I feel like this, it's hell... There's nothing wrong with it.

[NoReason]

I think he feels nervous around people, not music.

Feel free to say what you want.

I feel like this, it's hell... There's nothing wrong with it.

 

Okay, well, I'm still worrying about this so I might as well speak up.

 

I'm nervous cause.. some guys, guys I imagine who play music, are just by nature, intimidating to me, not due to their musical abilities, but due to their personalities....

 

I have that sorta nerdy like insecurity, 'do they like me? How do I sound? Am I standing okay?'

 

I mean, I'm older. So I can't really use that insecure youth excuse no more.

 

But it's the same with everything, work, dating... I really still have that nerdy insecure feeling about everything--constantly.

[denise_xo]

Hey, nothing to be embarrassed about, there are tons of people in your shoes.

Have you ever tried to tackle it head on? If you did, you'd probably get rid of some of those constraining feelings. It's a prison but the good news is that you can probably get yourself out of there. As for these musicians: I used to have unhealthy respect for certain categories of people, but then once you gain entry you realise that people are just people everywhere, not particularly smarter or cooler or whatever than anywhere else. A lot of so-called personalities are fake projections of what people want to be.

[cesar13]

^^very true

[NoReason]

Well it's sort of a weird situation. I thought these guys for whatever reason were like some younger, kind of purely amateur types. But I think they're old and more seasoned, and I feel pretty idiotic showing up. I just want to back out, but he's waiting for my reply in email, and I'm procrastinating. What should I do? Is there a totally good, creative, excuse you guys can come up with?

[denise_xo]

NoReason, I don't really understand the full picture of where you are going and what you are going to do there, but if you're not sure who they are and what they are expecting, then why don't you just email him back and say something along the lines of 'hi I'm NoReason and I'm [whatever age] and my experience with music is [insert whatever] and what I'm looking for now is [insert whatever]', and then ask him if that matches what they're looking for or what kind of people they want to play with. Or something like that - the point being you check in with them before going to do whatever you're supposed to be doing there, so you don't have to face a situation of mismatched expectations.

 

What do you think?