missfrenchie Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Last night I had a pretty big wake up call... Now I just feel lost and I have no idea what to do. I'll try to make a long story short. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 19. I decided against anti-depressants and went for therapy instead. Some days were worse than others and with a lot of hard work, I felt I was back to my normal functioning self. I'm now 27 years old and I feel like my world is falling apart. My boyfriend is amazing. I've spoken about him on here a few times. But he pretty much gave me an ultimatum last night saying, I need to start addressing my self esteem and insurcurity issues... Otherwise - we just won't work. That if I can't 'work' we can't work together... I honestly do not know what is wrong with me!!!! I don't want all the drama but I can't deny that I have these problems. I've tried to stuff them away for too long and now I just feel helpless. When I look in the mirror, I see everything I don't like. My body and my face... I have serious issues, especially when I don't get why even complete strangers would come up to me and tell me how stunning I am. I can't see what they see. It's eating away at my relationship... It's eating away at my life. My confidence is pretty much non existant and it makes it even harder when I feel intimidated by people - I can't even include myself in a conversation. My boyfriend and I discussed this for hours... He told me I need to start fixing myself and taking some time for me and concentrate on 'us' later. He has made it clear we aren't breaking up and that he doesn't want to break up but that I really need to take some time to sort myself out. I just don't know where to start. I feel completely lost. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I think you should consider the meds Link to post Share on other sites
Author missfrenchie Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 skydiveaddict... i've read your posts and i know that you can't understand why people shy away from meds... i don't have depression anymore. i don't believe drugs are the answer. i have a bad self confidence problem that is ruining me. there are no drugs for that... Link to post Share on other sites
jean-luc sisko Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I'm about 85%. So reasonably high. I have good qualities, am reasonably content in who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Miss, you sound beyond the point of reason. You should see a psychiatrist and possibly get medication. If there is truly nothing wrong with you physically but you have a bad self image, a professional is needed. Chemical imbalances that lead to unhealthy feelings are not your fault. They are simply physiological/biochemical glitches that should be corrected. Medication saves people’s lives and sanity all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missfrenchie Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 Couldn't it just be as easy as re building my self esteem??? Yes, I have a bad self image... I'm insecure... But does it really need to be fixed by medications and therepy?? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Couldn't it just be as easy as re building my self esteem??? Yes, I have a bad self image... I'm insecure... But does it really need to be fixed by medications and therepy?? Sometimes that's the only way Link to post Share on other sites
TwilightSky Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I'm confident that I have low self-confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Hi. You're like me. Body Dismorphic Disorder. Talk to your therapist about it. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Couldn't it just be as easy as re building my self esteem??? Yes, I have a bad self image... I'm insecure... But does it really need to be fixed by medications and therepy?? Well, do you have any better suggestions?? I was on ADs for almost two years. I was EXTREMELY reluctant to start them. I now think it's one of the smartest decisions I have made in my entire life. NOT because medication is the answer to your problems - it is not. But what it WILL do for you (or at least, this is what they do for literally millions of people), is to get you functioning at a level where you are capable of constructively addressing your problems, with the help of therapy and other means. I haven't read your other threads that someone referred to - why are you so reluctant to engage in therapy? Are you ready to lose your bf over not giving therapy and medication a try? Is your determination not to try it out more important than this man? Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I guess it comes from the childhood because your parents thought that you were not perfect enough and defective in some way. Therefore, to change your attitude you should modify your past memories about your self-image and value. For that purpose, you should experience your old memory during meditation but in a new changed way. It can be changed because it is just a memory but not a reality anymore. Also, you can use cognitive therapy/or affirmations to change your core beliefs about yourself. In other words, you should turn your present thoughts into the opposite thoughts and repeat them endlessly untill you totally forget your old thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
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