Growing up to fast???

[mich81]

How do you stop from growing up to fast???

 

Here's my story.... I am the youngest of five children in a "mixed" family. Both my mother and father were married and had children before, I am the only one that is "theirs". The closest one to me is six years older and the oldest is nine years, but I am pretty close to all of them. So I guess ever since I was little I have been one step ahead of others my age, trying to keep up with my siblings.

 

Now I am 21, all my siblings are married and all but one of them have children. Just like it has always been I'm trying to keep up. I know what your going to say...your only 21 and you have your whole life ahead of you, don't rush it, and I agree completely. I know that I'm not ready to get married and have children, yet. But I still find myself craving it. I guess I just have this need to keep up! How do I stop it???

 

I hope this makes sense and I don't sound like a complete idiot, but I would really like your opinions on this!

[Tony T]

If you want my opinion, it's all in your head. There are no external forces driving you to get married, have kids, stand on your head, or whatever.

 

Since the only person in the entire world who is driving you to keep up with your siblings is you, go to the bathroom...look in the mirror...and seek permission from yourself for some extra time to grow, to enjoy the world, to become better prepared for the future, and to generally have the freedom to decide when you want to take major steps in your life.

 

Putting pressure on yourself to keep up with your siblings is insane. They won't pay your bills if you fall flat on your financial butt, they won't solve your marital problems if you have any, they won't help you raise your kids, and they won't pay for your divorce if the pressure you put on yourself to get married causes you to whack out and pick the wrong person.

 

Are you getting the idea here???

 

Until you give yourself permission to be a free and autonomous individual, you will always be a prisoner of family circumstances. Is that what you want for your life???

[christin_123]

Hi:

I feel the kind of pressure. But it is opposite to yours. My younger brother(2 years younger than me) lives with his girl friend and he is not like previous anymore. I mean he has his own life and his girl friend became his best soul mate. He won't listen to me anymore, although I think girlfriend and sister are completely different, he doesn't. I found he became very selfish. He treats me like a stranger. I feel very sad and I can't figure out why. Also, other persons in my family also change as I grow up. I found they raised me up only because of obligations. I feel no love. I feel alone and I find that their love' are so skin-deep, which depressed me. How I wish I have married and have my own family!