Strawberry Cane Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Hello all! My boyfriend and I have dated now for approx. 5 months, and recently we discussed how our different lifestyle habits and activities are such a deep part of who we are that it's very difficult for us to change even though we know we should.... it actually got down to the point where we said to each other "I don't know if I could go on being with someone who lives 'this way'." First of all... my boyfriend keeps himself in GREAT shape, working out daily, eating properly, and keeping active. The only downfall is that he is a SMOKER (which is not healthy at all). Now, my whole life I swore I would never date a smoker, because thats not something I want in my life. I don't want my children to see their father as a smoker, or worry about my man getting cancer or me getting cancer from 2nd hand smoke. I don't want his clothes hanging next to mine in the closet smelling of cigarettes, or laying in bed next to me smelling like a giant cigarette, sweating into our sheets, etc. And the worst part is that I am actually allergic to cigarette smoke. Now, he doesn't smoke around me, but if he does, I have allergic reactions. I have medication I can take beforehand to help with the reactions but I don't want to have to rely on that just to be with my man. He says he wants to quit, but I know he loves to do it. So hes a Physically Fit Smoker... Me on the other hand, I'm an UN-Physically Fit NON-Smoker... Now let me clarify, I'm not overweight now, but I do have my share of blubbery spots and I have been heavier before, but lost the weight (30lbs) after I moved out of my house and went away to school for a year. I LOVE MC DONALDS, TAKE-OUT, ICE CREAM, CANDY, PIZZA! All those things that my man DOESN'T EAT, or want as a part of his lifestyle. I know I need to stop for my personal heath, but I don't want to because I'm addicted to the flavors and cravings! So on one hand I share his anxiety (knowing I should stop this junk food eating, and start exercising for my health) but I don't want to (the way smoking is a stress relief for him and a part of his lifestyle). We both don't like to argue, but it's difficult to tell someone "THATS UNHEALTHY", when you have an unhealthy habit yourself that you know you need to change. We were talking about it a few days ago, and I said I wanted to change this about myself, and he said he wants to try to quit smoking AGAIN (he tried when we first started dating, but he got laid off and started experiencing family drama so he started up again). He did smoke for 10 years before he met me. This man is EVERYTHING I have ever wanted in a significant other. He's VERY dedicated, a family man, a hard worker, and we share a lot of the same values in general. Not to mention hes a wonderful lover. He he he! I am fully aware I am still in the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship but I'm very satisfied with him, aside this problem were attempting to tackle together. I figured reaching out for an extra opinion wouldn't hurt. I guess I would like to hear any opinions about this, and any support for making this lifestyle change (health food, and exercise) would be very much appreciated. If anyone has any tricks to laying off the junk, please share them!!! THANK YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 If he died in an accident tomorrow, would you say: Goodness, I miss him, but he was a smoker! if you died in an accident tomorrow, would he say: Goodness, I miss her, but she was a bit unhealthy! You only have one life, now. When will it end? Who knows? Put things into perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
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