Jump to content

Getting rid of bad traits


Recommended Posts

When will these natural traits I have inherited from my father go away. This is what I don't want. Like him, I'm a yeller with a temper at times and can get kinda fisty too. Thing is I don't like getting yelled at and I someone were giving me that threatening look like saying ''I'm going to smack you right now so watch out'', it won't scare me but further enrage me greatly.

 

I guess they will always stay within me I won't way (like father like daughter).

 

I also notice I at times seem to close my fist and shake when I'm at my boiling point, my father would do this too (before it was mainly when mom would throw tantrums at him).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I been try and can improve sometimes at that but then comes those traits again over time. It's like you do something all of the sudden without you noticing it until it's late.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you don't like something about your mom or dad try to change it. If you like certain things about them try to follow.

 

People don't want to be like their parents but we all are to some degree.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Brimstone_Angel

  1. It takes acknowledgment of the trait.
  2. Figuring out if it is really bad or something that just needs to be controlled.
  3. Then, (and this is the hard part) is figuring out what about you that you can change, the things about you that you can't, and the wisdom to tell the difference.
  4. Lastly, you need to find the tools that work for you.

For example, I am a hard nose person when it comes to morality, I don't bend on what I think is right and wrong which a lot of times put me at odds with many people. It is a side about me that I can't change, but I constantly try to remember that sometimes I need to just back off and let things be. This is why I am try not to deal with the Other Person threads.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You are aware that you have a temper and have known this for a long time. Many threads of yours from the past, I've always said you need to seek therapy and deal with your anger. Not only because it's unhealthy to unload on your friends, family, siblings, but one day it'll be your spouse and your kids. Didn't you admit in an old post that you hit your brother?

 

You're an adult and CAN change your behaviour - Learn to control it and deal with things in a more calmer way.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Didn't you admit in an old post that you hit your brother?

 

Yes and my b/f saw it, got scared but I told him it wouldn't happen again not to worry since I never snap at him.

 

Ok here's the thing, one time (like 2 yrs ago) I did went to university counseling hoping to get helped out and told the lady most of the stuff I wrote on this forum dealing with my temper, my parents' episode, etc. And what, they brought a cop on my house and almost got my parents in trouble. I wanted no cops at all, nor this involving my parents for an interview.

 

So screw counselors so much for trying.:mad: I'm piss at that lady.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Do anger management. This isn't just about the hitting, or urge to hit, it's about LEARNING to control your anger outbursts and not letting them take over. Don't let that one experience with the U-Counsellor make you not do therapy. This is YOUR life Ailec, you have the power to make changes and work on you, but you can't do this by yourself, nor just from an online forum. You need to be taught certain techniques and learn to control your angry thoughts..

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

meditate. Buy a heavy bag and work out with it. exercise.

 

You CHOOSE to get angry. it is your response to the world. It is your choice. choose something else. before you do something naturally, you need to practice it. so practice not getting angry by choosing another response, like asking some assertive based questions. Deep breathing. You might want to look into the Sedona Method. Google it.

 

Pray.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You CHOOSE to get angry. it is your response to the world. It is your choice. choose something else. before you do something naturally, you need to practice it. so practice not getting angry by choosing another response, like asking some assertive based questions. Deep breathing. You might want to look into the Sedona Method. Google it.

 

Ok thanx, gonna search that now. Very interesting.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...