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Old 14th April 2019, 9:00 PM   #1
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Tanning

I don't go out in the sun very much. I work inside, and when I'm outside I often wear long sleeves and pants. I'm blonde, fair skin, European heritage. I'm getting a bit tired of looking so different from my husband's other partners, who are Hispanic and Asian. Having my skin compared to a white flour tortilla isn't fun.

So, how do I tan a couple of shades? I'm not looking for that "I'm at the beach all the time" look, just something that makes me not look like a basement dweller. How long does it take to tan? Fifteen minutes in the sun at a time? How do I avoid getting burned, especially on sensitive areas like back, breasts, etc... that never see much light?
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Old 14th April 2019, 9:47 PM   #2
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I will lecture you with the same talk I gave my 18-year-old blonde, fair-skinned, European heritaged daughter just this morning after getting her second bad sunburn in a month at the barn (she has a horse) yesterday. Melanoma is a thing! People die from it! I had a friend die from it very young!

I probably have the same hair/skin color combo as you, MM. What I do to make sure I get "some color" is just go outside for maybe 15-20 minutes a day....throwing the ball with the dog or sitting in a chair on my "lunch hour" (I work from home) accomplishes this. A few years ago I decided to sun worship for a summer because there was a pool where I was renting, and I can't believe how much damage was done to the skin on my chest just from that one year (just more visible wrinkles). I seriously aged at least 5 years in that one area from not using adequate sunscreen. Now I moisturize it like crazy.
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Old 14th April 2019, 10:00 PM   #3
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i'm brown so I don't have worry about tanning. I can spend as much time in the sun as I want without having to wear sun block. Actually I've never had a sunburn in my life
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Old 14th April 2019, 10:41 PM   #4
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AM - I don't think "brown skin" precludes you from damages from sun exposure!
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Old 14th April 2019, 10:47 PM   #5
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You would probably be better off just avoiding the sun if you are as you describe...If you do manage to get some color over time, you will also have the negative affect of looking like you are 70 when you hit 50...

TFY
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:05 PM   #6
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Please donít.

I buried a 20 year old ďnieceĒ last year from melanoma.

Some of us were just meant to be pale.
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:08 PM   #7
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Skin that easily tans is very different from skin that burns easily. You shouldn’t compare yourself to them even if that’s their gig.

You should clue them in that pale is the new tan.
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:11 PM   #8
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Fwiw - Iím 40. Iím PALE Irish complexion. I rock SPF 30 every day in my moisturizers, etc and when I actually am fully exposed to sun (like outside, at the pool, park, etc) I cover up in spray on 30-50spf

There is nothing sexy about skin cancer. Or premature aging. And if you try to tan, you WILL wrinkle with our sort of complexion.

Us pale folk arenít meant to tan.
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:12 PM   #9
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Iím sorry for your loss, wallysbears xo

heartbreaking
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:13 PM   #10
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Thanks. It was awful.
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:13 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wallysbears View Post
There is nothing sexy about skin cancer.
This cannot be overstated.
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Old 15th April 2019, 1:18 AM   #12
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Grrrr. Y'all make it sound hopeless. I've got the German-Russian paleness, so perhaps I will just burn if I try. Maybe just 15 minutes at a time? I sure don't want to age, as I already look older than I should. When my younger sister and I are together, we get asked if I'm her mom. Not cool.

My husband tans in the summer. He gets pale in winter, and then very brown in summer since he is outside so much. Just not fair.
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Old 15th April 2019, 2:56 AM   #13
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Try a self tanner or a spray tan. Don't risk sun damage. I'm dark haired with medium olive skin. I was big on tanning in my youth and I've never had a sunburn. Can't say I don't have sun damage though. Definitely see some damage on my upper chest and I have hyper pigmentation on my face. I wear sun screen all the time now but I sure wish I had protected my skin when I was younger. When you're young you think oh I won't care what I look like when I'm 50 and besides 50 is a lifetime away, but 50 comes sooner than you expect and you still care very much what you look like. Oh and my biological father who was a dark skinned 100% native Cree got skin cancer. Everybody and anybody is at risk. Fake tan or no tan.

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Old 15th April 2019, 3:48 AM   #14
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Yeah, I'd also suggest a self tanner. I tried all kinds of brands but they all looked orange on me (I'm very pale as well). Discovered a tanning oil now (at the drugstore) that works very well for me. You just add a few drops to your regular face & body lotion and get a very nice, natural looking tan.
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Old 15th April 2019, 4:53 AM   #15
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Use a spray tan. If you get a good one that fits your existing skin tone and use it well, the appearance is indistinguishable. Melanoma is REALLY not worth it.


Interestingly, in my culture the women all want to be fair and hide from the sun like crazy, lol! I don't just mean not tanning, but literally running from shade to shade or using an umbrella. Perceptions of beauty are really subjective. And I guess people always want what they can't have.
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