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Physical Fitness, Health & Weight Management Staying fit and physically healthy is essential! Remember, we aren't subsitutes for your physician! As always, talk to your doctor before following any suggestions or advice!

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Old 6th April 2019, 8:02 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by major_merrick View Post
That's decent news, Leigh. Just give it time, and things will turn in your favor. You're about the same age as me, and things turned a corner for me at 30. When I was younger, I had a doctor tell me that my ovaries were pretty much useless, and any eggs I had would be worthless for conceiving. They must have all dropped at some point, and now I've had one baby and I'm pregnant with twins.

Maybe you'll get lucky and suddenly start getting pregnant. It only takes one egg, after all, and if your cycle returns to normal you may drop more than one egg a month. Just keep having lots of sex. It seems to clean the system.
Thanks so much.

But in my heart of hearts, I do not see myself getting the opportunity to experience motherhood.

If I do, it will not be until I am well close to 40.

This has left me suicidal and depressed some of the time, so I will seek to treat it and I know deep down I need to just...Get over the fact I will never likely have children.

It is more my worst nightmare and yet I need to push hard to still be happy and I know I will manage.

Sure, if I become one of the minority rare miracle stories I will be thrilled! But I am not going to allow myself to maintain much "hope", as miracles are miracle stories for a reason. I will therefore sadly, not be planning my life around the possibility for conception and a healthy pregnancy.

I do think in 2 - 3 years I will freak out and try treatment and fail, before I am truly able to move on.

I will need ongoing help for all this but I want to live in reality, I CANNOT plan for a very slim chance of a dream as it would destroy me entirely as I have seen it drive many women to suicide when the realisation hits them that they will never experience meeting their own baby......

The depth of despair I am feeling surrounding this scares me and I am more focused on staying alive and healthy at this stage.... Death does not scare me, but devastating my parents sure does so I have to focus on being alice and well for their sake.

It would mean the absolute world to my parents for my, after ten years at college, to finally graduate Podiatry. It is so hard. All I want is to meet my baby, I am 32 and it is what I truly want. But of course, we do not get everything we want in life, so I am just trying so very hard to learn to find joy in my plan B.... At least for now.

I am over joyed I do not have cancer. I am almost certain I would have ended up in a mental hospital if I had my uterus and ovaries removed.

Please know that infertility and childlessness does cause suicide and it is a real issue. I wish more people knew about it... It really is not as trivial as "not getting to travel" or "not getting the car, nor job you want"...
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Old 6th April 2019, 8:08 AM   #17
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I am so very sorry to everyone here who has had cancer, or who knows someone close to them who has.

What I am going through is no where even CLOSE to the pain of knowing you are terminal.

I feel like a gutless piece of Sh*T for being suicidal over the fact I am most likely to remain childless. I do know this is a drop in the ocean compared to the awful world out there....

BUt I feel how I feel and there is certainly no stopping this, but I will get the help I need although I really have my reservations as to how a therapist can help me overcome the likely fate of involuntary childlessness...

What can they say that will make me be OK with it?

I am hoping that I can simply find ways to be happy whilst still not being OK with it, ever.

Wish me luck.

I am going to need it. Will be working a lot caring for the disabled and soon - working in aged care too, and also studying insane hours to pass Podiatry (at long last....)

Thanks again for your well wishes and I am so sorry I am trivialising cancer by making a mountain out of a mole hill about not getting to have children. I hate how it is just there, even though I know it is not the end of the world it FEELS like it.....
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Old 6th April 2019, 8:55 PM   #18
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For me, I was able to deal with infertility and childlessness because I was convinced I'd be a bad mom anyways. So, I kind of thought I was doing everybody a favor by not trying. My husband and I had sex when we were teenagers and I was hoping to get pregnant, but it didn't happen.
For years after, I wondered about it, but as I was in relationships with girls, getting pregnant wasn't even a possibility. I had no idea that having everything I wanted could actually happen. I've ended up with a totally weird life, but I've got my husband, my girlfriends, and now I'm having kids. Things will come together for you too.
Your drive to have sex and get pregnant as probably really strong right now at 32. It is for me. I'm on my second pregnancy in less than 2 years. I'm due in July. Right after I gave birth last September, I was sex crazy for weeks and I got pregnant immediately. I know that's going to happen again.

Just keep having sex. Enjoy the sex, and try not to think so much about getting pregnant. I know that's easier said than done, but it will happen for you eventually.
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Old 9th April 2019, 8:15 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by major_merrick View Post
For me, I was able to deal with infertility and childlessness because I was convinced I'd be a bad mom anyways. So, I kind of thought I was doing everybody a favor by not trying. My husband and I had sex when we were teenagers and I was hoping to get pregnant, but it didn't happen.
For years after, I wondered about it, but as I was in relationships with girls, getting pregnant wasn't even a possibility. I had no idea that having everything I wanted could actually happen. I've ended up with a totally weird life, but I've got my husband, my girlfriends, and now I'm having kids. Things will come together for you too.
Your drive to have sex and get pregnant as probably really strong right now at 32. It is for me. I'm on my second pregnancy in less than 2 years. I'm due in July. Right after I gave birth last September, I was sex crazy for weeks and I got pregnant immediately. I know that's going to happen again.

Just keep having sex. Enjoy the sex, and try not to think so much about getting pregnant. I know that's easier said than done, but it will happen for you eventually.

Well I have some good news...

Turns out, I ovulate. Well, I did this month. Partner got me a medical grade ovulation device for women with PCOS - 99.9% accurate, it measures your basal or core temp every 5 mins for the night...

I used it this month and yeah,I ovulated. I was like WHAT !?! I have severe PCOS or so I thought - because I have SO so so SO many excess immature follicles laying around which indicates years of chronic anovulation....

I am not currently on low carb (which is ideal for hormonal balance) I do not exercise, I have been lacking sleep and I am not at all "healthy" especially - I mean.... I was so pleasantly surprised to know I do actually ovulate....
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Old 9th April 2019, 6:46 PM   #20
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Congrats! That's awesome news! I've never used any kind of ovulation calculator or fancy thermometer. Use your tools, and you should be able to get pregnant after a while.
My first ovulation in years (that I know of ) was when my husband and I had sex on our wedding night. Something about what was going on started my cycle again, and I conceived almost immediately. All I can say is, just keep doing it!
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Old 10th April 2019, 7:48 AM   #21
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Hmmmm so it turns out I ovulated Saturday. When we did the deed.

I had no idea I was ovulating at the time as the device tells U a few days later.... Heck, I didn't even know I COULD ovulate....
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