Do my stretch marks keep guys away?

[nauticalpoem]

I grew up in a family where no one was good at taking care of their emotional wellbeing and it rubbed off on each other. The good news is that led me to really care about taking care of myself emotionally and physically as I grew up. The bad news is that I was depressed, introverted, and let myself eat my way to 230lbs as a 5'4" 15 year old girl. I was always very physically active so my health wasn't in severe danger. More than anything my self esteem was a concern.

 

My senior year of highschool I was prescribed Welbutrin and it gave me the umph I needed to lose weight. I lost over 80 pounds in about 5 months. I graduated college last year (so like five years since I lost weight) and have maintained my weight of around 145-150 lbs. I would like to lose 15-20 more, but the point is I'm a hell of a lot smaller now.

 

Unfortunately I gave a TON of stretch marks with that weight. Basically covering from my belly button up to 4 inches from my breast, stretching around my hips, on the top of my thighs, on my arms, and bellow my breasts. They're old, white, and pretty faded but you can still see them. I do my best to only be naked with guys when the lights are off or I am under a blanket, but the texture of the SM are still there.

 

I will never be able to wear a bikini. That sentence is hard to type.

 

I've never been able to keep a guy for much longer than a couple months, and I've always wondered if it was the SM that ran them off. Were they totally into me until they saw what was underneath?

 

How much does your SO's inability to go boating in a bikini with you and your friends turn you off? I'm fairly attractive, but those damn scars...

[Michelle ma Belle]

Any man with an ounce of character will not care about your scars. Trust me.

 

And congratulations on losing the weight luv!!

[RecentChange]

I hardly doubt that is the reason.

 

Like you, I used to be heavier, and lost a fair bit of weight, and have the stretch marks to show for it.

 

After a few months?! No dude is going to say I am really into this girl but I can't handle her stretch marks.

 

For me the key is confidence. I don't hide under low lights. This is me, I accept who I am, and bring foward a high level of confidence.

 

I am usually pretty surprised how "into" my body, stretch marks and small breasts and all men seem to be. But I think it is largely due to the fact that confidence, and comfort in my own skin are very sexy attributes to most.

 

I also have a few years on you I am sure.... As men mature, many change their thoughts on what is really desirable and sexy (the whole package, not just skin deep, attitude etc)

[carhill]

While being young and its general focus on appearance is certainly valid, there is also the component of how one views themselves and how it translates into the aura one projects to the wider world.

 

At the other end, with a lifetime of choices and happenings taking their toll, it's nice to be alive and, while fitness and appearance are generally factors in romantic attraction for many, specifics like stretch marks blend into the background.

 

From a guy's perspective, I prefer a woman who is comfortable with her body however it may appear when naked. I was married for a goodly while to one who was pretty overweight for her size but didn't focus on it, rather did the best she could with what she had and accepted the rest. That was attractive. And, yup, we made love with lights on most of the time because, well, that's what love is about. Accepting and loving.

 

The right man for you will accept you and love you, and your stretch marks.

[darkbloom]

I think my stretch marks are one of the most beautiful things about my body.

 

I've never had a single guy not be into my body with them.

 

Also, you can too wear a bikini. Don't impose walls on yourself because you feel like you don't fit into what society tells you is acceptable.

[jen1447]

Fact - we all see ourselves about 500% more critically than anyone else does. Like when you're having a bad hair day, the realty is no one at work says or thinks "HO-LY SHYT, look at Jen's hair ....disgusting, just disgusting. I can't believe she left the house looking like that. I'm deeply offended."

[lchf]

Meh.. My girlfriend and I both develop stretch marks easily. She's thin, but she has them, and so do I, everywhere...arms, back, ass, thighs. Shifting weight and competing in weightlifting has me riddled with them, and I can't care less about them on my girlfriend, and she doesn't care either. I don't even consider them something negative. They are part of one's body, just like a cut or a burn that has scarred. The more you cover up the more you emphasise what you want to hide, so I wouldn't worry too much about them.

[xxoo]

Men want to see your body. They'll be far more turned off by you hiding your body under blankets than by your stretch marks.

 

I have stretch marks from my 2 babies, extending across most of my belly. I ROCK a bikini

[Chris2016]

No way. Right person will not care. Try not to associate them leaving to your stretch marks.

[WaitingForBardot]

Let me tell you a story, and yeah I've always got one... ..lol..

 

My boys used to go to a camp that was typically boys only, but one year a coed group from there as well. There was this girl, 16-17 years old, very physically attractive except for her one severely deformed arm. Because of the cold everyone was wearing jackets and her arm was not really noticeable. She attracted lots of attention. So the first night at camp the boys at our table called her over to sit with them. As she sat down, the first thing she did was take off her jacket and plop her arm down on the table in front of God and everyone! Sure it cooled off a few, but within a day or two she had a small group of real admirers that were anxious to spend time with her.

 

After having been a candy striper working with severely disabled kids and adults in my youth, I was absolutely awed by her composure, self-awareness, confidence, and how at that age she had already figured out how to quickly separate the good from the bad.

 

TL,DR: I think you should consider wearing a bikini. The guys worth your time just aren't going to care.

[hippychick3]

I've had 3 kids so have my share of stretch marks. I prefer to just ignore them and pretend they're not there. Lol. I've never had a man break up with me after sex and have never noticed a man being anything but turned on when I'm naked. Bf is 9 years younger and has never mentioned my stretch marks in 2 1/2 years.

 

Men like confident women, but they mostly like naked women. A non-shallow, decent guy won't care about stretch marks when he's horny.

[nauticalpoem]

There was this girl, 16-17 years old, very physically attractive except for her one severely deformed arm...

 

Interesting comparative story:laugh:

 

I understand what you're saying. It's definitely hard though. I just want to hide all the signs of "fatness". Anyone who has lost alot of weight, especially at a young age, will understand what I mean.

 

Thanks for all the support everyone! It's nice how encouraging the forum is.

[thefooloftheyear]

Interesting comments....

 

So it would be "wrong" for a guy to be turned off by a woman that has some body issues (like stretchmarks), but it's just a guys tough luck if a woman doesn't like the fact that he's short, has a little dick, a hairy back, or has moobs???

 

It makes it sound like all "good" guys are happy with any woman, so long as she has a vagina and boobs??...and if a guy has any standards of what he wants in a woman's body, then he is "not right"??Nothing else matters???

 

Here is the truth....

 

Some guys will have a hangup about it...Just like women have a hang up over a guys body issues...Its a completely normal process of selection...The good news is that there are usually enough people so that it's not that difficult to find a match...

 

Live it....no one is perfect....

 

TFY

[loveweary11]

actually, the forum isn't encouraging at all.

 

They lay the truth on.

 

The truth is, no one but a very few really picky guys would ever care.

 

As a guy myself, I'm instantly attracted to your username and the fact that you talk about wanting to go boating.

 

[darkbloom]

Interesting comparative story:laugh:

 

I understand what you're saying. It's definitely hard though. I just want to hide all the signs of "fatness". Anyone who has lost alot of weight, especially at a young age, will understand what I mean.

 

Thanks for all the support everyone! It's nice how encouraging the forum is.

 

I used to be fat when I was younger. I am now smaller than I have ever been in my life. You can bet I show this off whenever I can. You'd be surprised at how many people I inspire when I tell them that I lost the weight. Do not let your fear of people judging you feel like you need to hide who you used to be.

 

Hiding makes it seem like you're ashamed. But you shouldn't be. Everyone has to start somewhere and look how far you've come. Embrace it Sister!

[WaitingForBardot]

Interesting comparative story:laugh:

 

I understand what you're saying. It's definitely hard though. I just want to hide all the signs of "fatness". Anyone who has lost alot of weight, especially at a young age, will understand what I mean.

 

Thanks for all the support everyone! It's nice how encouraging the forum is.

Yeah, sorry, I see how that could be taken the wrong way. That was not my intent. It was more along the lines of to never be ashamed of who you are.

Edited February 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[RightThere]

I've never been able to keep a guy for much longer than a couple months, and I've always wondered if it was the SM that ran them off. Were they totally into me until they saw what was underneath?

 

I hate to say it, but a lot of guys take off after getting women naked, regardless of what's underneath. They are shallow dirt bags.

 

Any guy that took off after is a great thing for you. Prevents you from wasting any time with losers.

[Methodical]

I agree with a lot that has already been stated. We are our own worst critics.

There are a lot of guys (sorry good guys ) that bail after they get in your pants.

 

You are self-conscious and overcoming that is not an easy battle. Until you do, and I truly hope you do bc you are more than SMs and have a lot to offer the right person, you'll always question if the flaw you see in yourself is the reason "why" someone else responded a certain way.

 

Back to that part about self-consciousness not being an easy battle to overcome...

 

* Hiding yourself projects the message that you aren't a beautiful person. If that is you in your avatar pic., you are gorgeous.

* Making sure the lights are off before undressing leads me to believe that you may hold back in the bedroom. My suggestion is cut loose a little more, be adventurous so that you aren't perceived as prudish.

* Shallow ppl are attracted to a person based solely on their appearance. Many, many ppl find a person attractive based on a variety of criteria: personality, financially independent (or at least not dependent), adventurous, intelligence, etc. Appearance is only one factor. I've met ppl who upon first impression maybe didn't seem "heart stopping appealing," but after talking to them, getting to know them, in my eyes they were absolutely adorable. And if they had scars, they (the scars) became invisible to me.

 

(I've got a few scars and if ppl look hard enough, yeah, they'll see them. Those scars don't define me. They're there bc I survived a situation so if someone has a prob. with them, I don't need that person in my life.)

 

When you find the right person, SMs will NOT be an issue. Don't allow SMs to define who you are.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Umm. I have never had a guy "take off" after getting naked and I've been up and down in my weight my whole life.

 

A guy who's make the effort to get you naked will already have an idea what your body will look like. He's already attracted to you. MANY wormen have stretch marks...thin, large, tall, short, dark or light...we all have them. It's normal. They can form in your adolescent years from a growth spurt too.

 

Don't worry about that. You know what's sexy? Confidence and passion. Be confident with youself and be passionate in bed...men are pretty simple to please.

 

 

 

I hate to say it, but a lot of guys take off after getting women naked, regardless of what's underneath. They are shallow dirt bags.

 

Any guy that took off after is a great thing for you. Prevents you from wasting any time with losers.

[nauticalpoem]

So it would be "wrong" for a guy to be turned off by a woman that has some body issues (like stretchmarks), but it's just a guys tough luck if a woman doesn't like the fact that he's short, has a little dick, a hairy back, or has moobs???

 

I feel as if you're distorting people's intent. Most people seem to be of the opinion that any guy worth my time wouldn't care. No one is making generalizing about anyone being turned off by it being a bad guy. (Although imo they're probably shallow - maybe immature. But that's nothing to hold against them.)

 

And for the record my [recently ex] beau had a bit of moobs and when I got him to take his shirt off, I loved rubbing his chest. I liked him so it didn't matter.

Edited February 5, 2016 by nauticalpoem

[Methodical]

And for the record my [recently ex] beau had a bit of moobs and when I got him to take his shirt off, I loved rubbing his chest. I liked him so it didn't matter.

 

^^This is my point.

 

You liked/loved your ex even though he had moobs, but you didn't "see" moobs, you saw the guy you liked/loved. To you, it wasn't a flaw, per se, and you loved rubbing his chest.

 

THAT is the kind of guy you'll eventually find, and like you, he won't see SM, he'll see the love of his life.

[thefooloftheyear]

I feel as if you're distorting people's intent. Most people seem to be of the opinion that any guy worth my time wouldn't care. No one is making generalizing about anyone being turned off by it being a bad guy. (Although imo they're probably shallow - maybe immature. But that's nothing to hold against them.)

 

And for the record my [recently ex] beau had a bit of moobs and when I got him to take his shirt off, I loved rubbing his chest. I liked him so it didn't matter.

 

 

Here is the thing....

 

Shaming a guy and calling him shallow because he has a certain physical "standard" doesn't seem right...I wouldn't bash a woman for finding something about me physically that's unappealing....I have standards as well....It's all good in my book...

 

Go back and read some of the posts...You will see a definite tone...Like any guy worth a shyt will be happy with anything and if he finds it unappealing, then he's a douche bag......"Guys are simple".."Guys like any naked woman" blah, blah...

 

It's pretty disparaging actually....

 

Congratulations to you on your weight loss...You sound like a lovely young lady and I am sure you will not have any trouble finding a good guy...

 

TFY

[Popsicle]

My niece has a bunch of stretch marks, and she was so worried about them when she was a in her late teens, but now she has the most handsome guy ever as her partner. Seriously. It totally all worked out for her!

[mrs rubble]

You'd be surprised how common stretch marks are, my son got a whole heap of them up his back at 16yo when he grew rapidly in height, they've faded and are barely noticeable, but he was quite distressed by them when they appeared.

Also I'm a naturist and see naked bodies all the time, more people (men and women) have them than not.

Your stretch marks are a celebration of getting your weight under control, wear them with pride.

[Snakechammah]

Hey sweetheart, I know having stretchmarks sucks! I have them too, on my butt of all places!

 

But you do know that they can be removed, right? It takes a while but it's doable.

 

Mine are slowing disappearing.. and I can't wait to be able to wear all those gorgeous lingerie and not cringe at the mirror!

 

Get a 1.5mm dermaroller (preferably a high quality Dr Roller one), and please not any of those made-in-china! Get Trilastin and the accompanying HT (Hydro Thermal) thingy that comes with it.

 

Roll on your stretchmarks.... then ply on the HT thingy... wait 1-2 mins (your skin will feel a bit of heat, this opens up the pores) and then apply Trilastin generously onto the stretchmarks. Rub it in until it absorbs into your skin completely.

 

You only need to dermaroll every 6 weeks (not less that that) because it takes a while for the collagen to repair itself. If you dermaroll before it heals, you risk prolonging the healing process.

 

For Trilastin however, you can apply it (on it's own, with the HT, without dermarolling) as frequently as you like.

 

I've been doing this and it really works for me. Thought I'd share the secret out there. Can't wait to have my bum as baby smooth as Yanet Garcia's lol.

 

All the best!