Ever had people tell you that they prefer you with extra weight………….?

[Mizz Layta]

Last winter I became sedentary and my weight went up to 150lbs.I coudn`t fit into my skinny jeans anymore so I decided to start tracking my calories and exercising .

 

I am down to 122 lbs.....and I am 5`3 .I now exercise regularly and watch my portion sizes to maintain my weight.

 

I feel great but today and I can fit into jeans again. However, I had one lady at work ask me if I dont eat anymore. I told her that I do and then she asked if I am on a diet .I told her that I just watch my portion exercise and get regular exercise.

 

The other lady who is bigger than me stepped in told me that I am too skinny and I need some meat.

 

Later on I showed this other co worker old pictures of me when I was at my heaviest and she told me that she prefers me with extra weight on and the other ones agreed with her.

 

The thing is ,I like myself better when I am lighter and my clothes now fit better. When ever put on extra weight, some of it goes into my inner thighs and they rub against each other when walk....which is uncomfortable. I avoided wearing dresses and shorts. Even running was uncomfortable. Some of it goes in belly so when I sit down it also felt uncomfortable ......I felt heavy and obese

 

I also had couple people from work ask me if I was pregnant. One of them asked me when we were alone if I am pregnant. I said no and asked her why and then she said I look like pregnant women. Then she added that when she saw me the day before, she thought to herself that I look pregnant. I just told her no, I just gained weight

 

Comments like that made me want to lose even more because they made me feel fat and unattractive. Now I am get people tell that I look great then they other ones who prefers me heavier

 

Ever had the same thing happen to you?

[Ninjainpajamas]

Yeah...I grew up a skinny kid, always doing sports and other activities with friends because it was fun not because it was exercise...I tried to gain weight but I was just too active and burned everything off, people always commented on my weight (now that I think of it, usually fatter, overweight and unhealthy people).

 

Too skinny.

 

Of course even at this time, you were already hearing by people that everything was about "genetics"...I was only THAT skinny anyway by genetics, not because I could run or swim 100 laps around a fatty, but because I was "born that way"not because of everything I did and they didn't do...like slam down a bag of double-stuffed oreos feeling bad about themselves sitting on the porch.

 

Late teens to 20's I really bulked up due to playing football, people were still poking fun at me for being too skinny at a point during my teens...although I was weight-lifting a lot more than guys who looked twice my size when you checked the charts the coaches always keep on their players...I certainly had anyone's respect that knew any better but it didn't make any difference to people on the outside though, the village idiots always went with size and when they did find out how "strong" I was when it came to facts and numbers, their mouths would literally drop and they'd scratch their heads in confusion...people still called me too skinny to play the sport though at 165 pounds.

 

Ripped and muscular, but still no respect...women loved it though.

 

But that was highschool and now I was becoming pretty muscular (bulk wise, always had muscles) and grew into my larger man-frame, so clearly I was using steroids or some kind of muscle enhancer instead of once again out-working them in every single way, funny how people never account for dedication, effort and time and just wonder why they don't lazily reach their goals through "genetics"...now all of a sudden I was a "big guy", and people were like "whoaa don't beat me up", where guys would always pick on the "skinny guy" even though they shouldn't have been, or make comments but nobody messed with the "big guy" now, I could part a crowd of guys like they were the sea and I was Moses, I could intentionally knock over their drink, spill it on their shirt (which I at times did) and they'd apologize like they did something wrong...I was 6'1 probably around 200 pounds at the time, more or less but people took me for much heavier...people used to ask me if I was a boxer or would always make a crack about me being a football player due to my size by holding their arms out wide and walking "big".

 

Too big/buff to go anywhere without a comment...big girls loved it especially.

 

Gained weight after sports, mainly due to working and relaxing on the weekends and the leisure time within relationships...but even more so when I incurred some significant injuries...and had to sit around for an extended amount of time...but I always cut off that extra weight in the end, but mid-20's it plateaued at a heavier weight than normal.

 

At that point people would either point to a gut or saying how my face was a bit fatter, telling me how I used to have such a good body and I'd look awesome if I got it back in shape.

 

What happened to you? you used to be so buff, you've got so much more "potential"....too fat

 

Now I am in my early 30's, and instead of that bigger more muscular mixed in with some fat and at times not carrying a whole lot of muscle...I slimmed down to a toned slimmer look, where I just look fit but not as muscular or bulky as I've got wide shoulders that can really emphasize size.

 

Well it is too lean for some people's taste now. I overheard a kid the other day asking an adult if I was an MMA fighter, but I'm not that toned it was just his misconception. Some people that hadn't seen me in a while said I was "too skinny" and looked better more muscular instead of toned.

 

I need to add more muscular "size" to meet people's expectations of what my body can produce

 

You know, this is what really gets under my skin about "fat people"...they cry all the tears in the world, want all the special treatment for it, blame their past issues, depression and whatever...like NOBODY else has to deal with the opinions, criticisms and judgments of others. Like nobody had mean people in their lives or people that said hurtful things.

 

Fat people want to be the spokespeople for body issues, like black people want to be the spokespeople of racism...all the while contradicting themselves the whole way to anyone who can see beyond a singular level of thought...they are so hyper-focused on themselves and how they feel, they don't even realize what is going on around them and then somehow again, make it all about them and how they feel.

 

It's a judgmental world...I judge, you judge, we all can feel bad about comments we all can hurt someone's feelings without knowing it, we all can critique and criticize without even being aware of it but most importantly, we all feel the pressure and effects of it...it doesn't have to be any specific thing, and if you think you could take that out of the world...good luck, it's a losing battle IMO.

 

But personally, this about the most thought I ever think about this...this one thread is more thought I'd ever given that criticism than any other time.

 

The point is, you can't satisfy everyone...maybe not even yourself, I'm going to reach a body I like for my sake. What really annoys me, is to constantly having to hear people play the victims and acting like the whole world is attacking them...I'm not attacking you OP, but I mean I get fed up hearing women talk about the media and women in magazines when look how the people in your own real-life are the ones affecting you the most, is it really about what we lack from the world? or from the people close to us or even within ourselves that may be lacking?

 

These are all women making these comments to you, all being rude, all of which who are without a doubt insecure about themselves in some way and yet somehow...so why do they do it?

 

Why in the world are people blaming the media, men, and everything else under the sun, when it is individual people making a decision to cross a very decent level of respect line that we all as adults learn. You can't even say we are conditioned to that if your argument at the same time it's so prejudiced against...it doesn't even make sense, because that means everyone is aware of it and therefore conscious of what they are doing...therefore, why! are they doing, and yet I'm sure all of those women would complain and cry if someone did that to me...makes sense doesn't it? nope.

 

Shouldn't I, have been treated like a mere god for a good portion of my life...just because I fit what the world expected me to look like? especially when I was in the best shape...or am I automatically discredited for being a man? was I immune to critique and opinions? did it make me feel "better", did it fix any personal issue that I had? no of course not, why would it.

 

I went on a rant OP but it was not directed at you, this is in reference to other things posted on this forum and the wide world and mentality within this culture of in particular with"obesity acceptance" and "anti-racism" just to mention the big ones, with each side saying it is about equality and not being biased when it's clear to see, and as we can all feel the true motive is coming from somewhere else and entirely personal, and that there is a clear inequality in their mentalities and frame of thinking than anything else...because anyone who is being objective and fair can see the truth.

 

So many of these people will ever speak without stepping back and questioning their own actions, words and behavior..instead feeling automatically entitled to being right and instituting justice, regardless of the blindness their one-sided tunnel vision and own jealousy provides them...for what they cannot fulfill within themselves.

 

This is a world of greed, jealousy and insecurity...that is the true source for why most people do what they do, even if they tell you it's about doing what is right, in the end they fail themselves within their behaviors that speak much louder than words.

 

/end MartinLutherNinja speech

[JDPT]

yeah and when I gain the extra weight they tell me I should lose a few. And round and round it goes.

[thefooloftheyear]

Ive never cared what people tell me...I live my life for me...And its ironic that the one's most vocal about my size and saying that I am "too big"are the same ones that if I were them, Id probably not leave the house or ever dare take my shirt off in public...

 

Anyway...

 

Its quite common for heavier women to say this stuff to thin/fit one;s,,Even the one's that are saying the "you go girl" are secretly hoping you fall off the wagon...

 

Eff em...

 

TFY

[Popsicle]

I had a couple of guys tell me this, so I just figured we weren't a good match and stopped talking to them.

[Phoe]

My ex tried to stop me from going to the gym, and specifically tried to make me eat foods that I'd told him several times were not okay for me to eat.

 

He wanted me to gain weight.

 

When I explained that working out and eating well were a priority for me, he responded as though I were so prissy and high maintenance for not just simply eating whatever the fcck was in front of me.

[SammySammy]

Yes, but I never believe them.

 

Do what is right for you. If being fit and healthy is right for you, don't let anyone try to guilt trip you into being unhealthy.

[RoseVille]

I've had guys not like it when I lost weight, because I lost my curves.

 

And I've had guys not like it when I gained weight, because I became soft.

 

I just do me. The right guy will like me firm or soft or in between. And he better, since I go back and forth!

[ascendotum]

I've had guys not like it when I lost weight, because I lost my curves.

 

And I've had guys not like it when I gained weight, because I became soft.

 

I just do me. The right guy will like me firm or soft or in between. And he better, since I go back and forth!

 

That's a good thing in a way as you can still be desirable across a weight range rather then a specific weight, which I really think applies to most women. (as long as the range is not overweight to a lot over weight). It would only suck if you lost or gained weight in the relationship, as chances are your bf would have ideally loved your figure as it was when you first met. If you go back and forth in weight that would still be okay for the guy. I think most guys get a little apprehensive when the trend in weight is up over over a number of years.

 

OP - I would not take it to heart when bigger women tell you you need to put on more weight. I suspect they see others weight from a skewed perspective in relation to their size + there might be a jealous motivation there too. As a guy I have been told to put on weight by women numerous times. I have been told by women that I got on really well with and asked out that they would date me if I put on another 10-15 kgs. Also had a couple of female co-workers say they would set me up with some of their friends if I packed on more weight. For sure if the roles were reversed (and I told them I would date them if they lost 15kg), there is a good chance they would politely tell me to piss off. I knew I was skinny and it was a big deal to women so it was no big shock to me, and I was actually refreshing hearing a woman be upfront instead of getting the lame 'you're not my type' response. Alas it was not easy to put on weight, Its eal hard for me to find a woman to complain about needing to put on more weight though.

[d0nnivain]

I was anorexic in high school & college & still pretty skinny for most of my adult life: 5'7 and 125 lbs. & a size 4 or 6 Once I hit 40 my metabolism changed. Even though my eating & lifestyle didn't change much my weight ballooned & I'm up to 155 lbs and a size 10; I'm heavier overall but a lot in my stomach & butt. Everybody tells me I look so much better & healthier now. I can barely look in the mirror because I hate my body so much. I'm trying to exercise but although I get toned the size doesn't change & I find it incredibly frustrating.

[regine_phalange]

When I was 51 kg with 1.66m height some men thought I was too thin and some others thought that I carried extra weight. Some women thought I was skinny and some others that I was fat. Maybe my body type is to blame, I'm thin on top and rounder at bottom. Now I'm 60 kg and went up one size (10). My waist is still thin and I have the same cellulite as I did when I was 51 kg. I just have more "volume" and a bit more muscle than I used to. And I admit that I like it. I haven't heard any negative comments from anyone, except that "I look good". Maybe it's because I've come to terms with my appearance by 90%.

[autumnnight]

When I graduated from college, I was 5'10" and weighed 121 pounds.

 

My parents thought I looked absolutely perfect. My friends were worried I had an eating disorder. Then again, I grew up with really odd forms of control with regard to food. I think both my parents have a paranoia about it. They are both so skinny in their old age they look almost emaciated, and the more emaciated they look the more excited they are.

 

I was always a very skinny kid and usually had all my clothing altered because, for example, in order for my pants to be long enough, the waist was miles too big, even with a belt.

 

I gained 24 pound in college over a span of time, and my parents absolutely freaked out. They monitored everything I ate (or tried to). I cheated when they weren't around and then would try to get rid of it by eating square after square of chocolate ex-lax. It worked, but I was sick as a dog. When my daughter was 8-9 and about to start pre-puberty, she did that softening up thing a lot of girls do, and my father took her aside and told her she needed to lose weight before she became obese. I didn't know this at the time, but I did notice that she almost never ate anything when we visited after that.

 

After my first was born, I was in a size 10-12 misses for awhile. I felt fat, but many of my friends said I looked perfect and a lot healthier that way.

 

After being fairly thin and fit most of my life, when my weight ballooned to the "W" size of the store, I did notice a 180 degree difference in the way every saleslady, salesman, and even the other customers looked at me. If I ventured to the non-plus side, the disdain was palpable. One saleslady even did that sugary, "are you are sure you are in the right section, ma''am?"

 

I'm not sure which is worse in the final analysis - being overweight or being an ass.

[Krieger]

My ex tried to stop me from going to the gym, and specifically tried to make me eat foods that I'd told him several times were not okay for me to eat.

 

He wanted me to gain weight.

 

When I explained that working out and eating well were a priority for me, he responded as though I were so prissy and high maintenance for not just simply eating whatever the fcck was in front of me.

 

 

Lets be real he did that because you did not want to lose you think about it he makes you fat men get turned off.

 

Woman do it to to make there man sound lame so no other woman will want them.If a GF did that to me I find a new GF.

 

I am trying to gain weight I feel I am to skinny .

[Eggplant]

People's personal appearance: not fair game for conversation at work.

[Radu]

OP, unless those kind of comments come from your SO, they should have no importance.

 

Fat kid throughout my life, at school just 1 out of 40-50 was overweight.

Started losing the weight pretty much the same way you did it, watching my portions and cooking instead of eating fast food.

 

Ppl will always make comments about it, it's best to just assume the good is good and the bad is bad, regardless of their reasons just keep truckin' on towards your goal.