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I'm fat yet I continue to over-eat


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wannaberunner

I don't know what's wrong with me. I have always struggled with my weight but at certain times in my past, I've gotten into pretty- to very- good shape, by running marathons, half-marathons and other races, and doing different diets, for instance Atkins or the Eat Clean Diet.

 

I know the benefits of eating well and working out- physical, emotional and mental. Yet I am stuck in this cycle of continually NOT honoring my desires and goals, and instead eating too much, drinking too much, etc. And then hating myself for it. I have a great education that I worked hard for and paid for on my own, a great career, a good relationship although I think we have similar issues of eating too much and drinking too much and generally being lazy and unproductive (yet we also have the same traits of being passionate and creative and intelligent... but I am very ambitious and can be "hard-working" when it's required, i.e. at the last minute after I procrastinate a bunch). And we have recently experienced a long and drawn-out miscarriage which has caused me to be depressed and unlike myself, although I can't blame it all on that because these problems have haunted me for years, they just seem even bigger right now.

 

I just have horrible habits and routines and no structure at all. I feel like I need to change everything about myself! Looking back, I've gotten into good shape when I was surrounded by people and/or in a relationship with someone who had good disciplined habits and who was in good shape. Why can't I just be disciplined and motivated myself, without having to rely on someone else??

 

I'm just giving an honest assessment of where I'm at and seeing if anyone has any advice for me. :-/ Thanks.

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brahmabull117

I have had the same problems of overeating in the past - I used to be 250 LBs in high school - I know exactly how that is. The big thing I would tell you is that you need to kill your attachment to food. You probably have an emotional attachment to food and you derive great pleasure from eating a big amount of food (which of course is addictive because more you eat the more you want)

 

 

You need to see food more as a source of fuel instead of something that gives you this immense pleasure. It doesn't mean that eating food for taste is a bad thing but overweight people tend to have a real attachment to food and they're overweight because of it. Learn to restrict your eating as much - eat small portions and try to go hungry as much as you can (not starving, just empty stomach and slightly hungry). The more you do this, the better off you will be. I used to hate dieting but nowadays I feel weird if I DON'T go to bed on an empty stomach. Your mind and body just gets used to eating less and less and it will be much less painful after a while. In terms of eating super healthy, I'm a big believer that the calorie # is the biggest thing that matters. Try to eat relatively healthy but you can treat yourself as long as you keep it in moderation and the absolute biggest thing - keep your daily overall calories LOW. Look up what calories you burn daily and eat 500-1000 calories below that

 

 

In terms of working out - just find something you enjoy and you can stay consistent with. Lifting weights is great because building muscle has a million benefits to your body and health so I would recommend maybe a lifting weights/cardio mix. Really it's all good as long as you enjoy it

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dreamingoftigers

It sounds like a sugar problem. Alcoholism and sugar-dependency run along the same genetic lines.

 

I've got it bad.

 

The only way I find I function ideally is when I eliminate dairy, crap carbs, wheat, corn, soy and sugar.

 

Then I feel so alive and full of energy (after about a 10 day withdrawal)

 

The sugar gives you a temporary kick and then depletes you so you end up going for temporary kick after kick after kick and feeling more and more sluggish and ashamed.

 

I find shame underlies most of my cravings.

 

This might fit you, might not.

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wannaberunner

Thank you, Bharma.

 

Yes, I do think I have an emotional attachment to food that I can't seem to kick.

 

I guess I should qualify "fat" by saying I'm not obese (I don't think) but I'm much bigger than I used to be. I'm currently around 160 to 163 depending on the day, and I'm a short female. :-/ I'm muscular/athletic/curvy by nature, which I don't mind, I would say my ideal weight is about 123 and I would be happy with anywhere from 125 to 130, heck at this point even 130!, even though people would probably consider me "overweight" at that point even though I'm only 5'2". The tiniest I can ever remember being is 118 and that was in high school when I only ate carrots for awhile because my sister had an eating disorder I was experimenting with. :-/ So even if I lost about 20 to 30 pounds I would be very happy, but I can't seem to do it, and instead my weight just keeps going up and up.

 

I do know that my mom would be classified as "obese" and she has definite issues and emotional attachments with food, and I am her daughter. I do see food as "yummy, this is delicious!" or "I've had a bad day, food can make me feel so much better!" (which quickly turns into regret once I've over-indulged).

 

I will try hard to think of it as fuel for my body rather than having an emotional attachment to it. I guess that's hard to overcome but I have to try!! I do sometimes go to the gym, start up a running routine, start eating well, only to have it all collapse once I had a "bad day" and want to make myself "feel better," or even a "good day" and want to "celebrate." In this way my relationship to food seems very similar to my relationship with alcohol, and I do feel "addicted" to food.

 

Thanks for the help and the tips.

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brahmabull117
Thank you, Bharma.

 

Yes, I do think I have an emotional attachment to food that I can't seem to kick.

 

I guess I should qualify "fat" by saying I'm not obese (I don't think) but I'm much bigger than I used to be. I'm currently around 160 to 163 depending on the day, and I'm a short female. :-/ I'm muscular/athletic/curvy by nature, which I don't mind, I would say my ideal weight is about 123 and I would be happy with anywhere from 125 to 130, heck at this point even 130!, even though people would probably consider me "overweight" at that point even though I'm only 5'2". The tiniest I can ever remember being is 118 and that was in high school when I only ate carrots for awhile because my sister had an eating disorder I was experimenting with. :-/ So even if I lost about 20 to 30 pounds I would be very happy, but I can't seem to do it, and instead my weight just keeps going up and up.

 

I do know that my mom would be classified as "obese" and she has definite issues and emotional attachments with food, and I am her daughter. I do see food as "yummy, this is delicious!" or "I've had a bad day, food can make me feel so much better!" (which quickly turns into regret once I've over-indulged).

 

I will try hard to think of it as fuel for my body rather than having an emotional attachment to it. I guess that's hard to overcome but I have to try!! I do sometimes go to the gym, start up a running routine, start eating well, only to have it all collapse once I had a "bad day" and want to make myself "feel better," or even a "good day" and want to "celebrate." In this way my relationship to food seems very similar to my relationship with alcohol, and I do feel "addicted" to food.

 

Thanks for the help and the tips.

 

 

Yep I knew it. Emotional attachment to food is why 95% of overweight people are overweight. Find other things you enjoy/get fulfillment out of and train yourself slowly to not be attached to food.

 

 

 

Remember this - Being lean will make you feel better than any food will. Tell yourself that over and over again

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wannaberunner
It sounds like a sugar problem. Alcoholism and sugar-dependency run along the same genetic lines.

 

I've got it bad.

 

The only way I find I function ideally is when I eliminate dairy, crap carbs, wheat, corn, soy and sugar.

 

Then I feel so alive and full of energy (after about a 10 day withdrawal)

 

The sugar gives you a temporary kick and then depletes you so you end up going for temporary kick after kick after kick and feeling more and more sluggish and ashamed.

 

I find shame underlies most of my cravings.

 

This might fit you, might not.

 

Hmm. I can really relate to this. The best I've felt physically and emotionally was on the "eat clean diet" where I ate mostly lean meat, veggies, and fruit, although I did have the occasional diary and "good" carbs, i.e. oatmeal or whole wheat low-carb tortillas. But my consumption of carbs and dairy was much lower than it usually is, and that's when I felt best.

 

I guess I just have to do it and stick with it even if I want to forget all about it, trying to remember my overall goal of feeling and looking much healthier. I can relate to it being hard for the first week or more, and then feeling much better. (Although these days I *swear* I instantly feel better, and instantly feel like my clothes fit me better, after even only a day or two of eating healthy... but then I go right back to old habits!!!)

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brahmabull117

btw you can treat yourself everyday to ice cream or snacks or candy, just gotta make sure your overall daily calories are low enough for you to lose 1-2 LBs a week

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dreamingoftigers

I think Eat to Live by Fuhrman is much better BUT it's tougher.

 

I'm going to do it when I have six weeks guaranteed in town.

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wannaberunner
btw you can treat yourself everyday to ice cream or snacks or candy, just gotta make sure your overall daily calories are low enough for you to lose 1-2 LBs a week

 

This seems to be my problem; I am so totally off or on. As long as I don't cave, I'm good, but the minute I eat, say, a poptart, I say to myself "well I already ate bad for breakfast, I might as well eat a burger and fries for lunch!" and so on, until I work up the desire to go back to eating well "consistently" (or as long as it lasts) again.

 

I guess if I'm addicted or emotionally attached to sugar or fast food etc., I should just cut it completely out? It's the same thing with alcohol... as soon as I have a beer, I lose all control. So the best plan of action, I think, would be to cut out all alcohol and all sugar/processed foods. Or am I being too extreme and I need to work on somehow finding balance?

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dreamingoftigers

Daniel Amen who runs the Amen Brain clinics in the states says simply. "kill the sugar before it kills you. "Everything in moderation" is not a good idea. There is not accepted "moderated" amount or cyanide or cocaine that has any benefit to your health and well-being.

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brahmabull117
This seems to be my problem; I am so totally off or on. As long as I don't cave, I'm good, but the minute I eat, say, a poptart, I say to myself "well I already ate bad for breakfast, I might as well eat a burger and fries for lunch!" and so on, until I work up the desire to go back to eating well "consistently" (or as long as it lasts) again.

 

I guess if I'm addicted or emotionally attached to sugar or fast food etc., I should just cut it completely out? It's the same thing with alcohol... as soon as I have a beer, I lose all control. So the best plan of action, I think, would be to cut out all alcohol and all sugar/processed foods. Or am I being too extreme and I need to work on somehow finding balance?

 

 

Good question but a hard question for me to answer. For me, I love beer and I love good food but I can eat in moderation - I can have a bowl of ice cream but only eat 2000 calories for the day (very low number for me)

 

 

Try to eat in moderation and if you can't do that, completely cut it out. The problem with completely cutting out is that the cravings get very very strong and you end up binging on like 4,000 calories at 1 sitting. I find it easier to have a balanced diet over a super strict one

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brahmabull117
Daniel Amen who runs the Amen Brain clinics in the states says simply. "kill the sugar before it kills you. "Everything in moderation" is not a good idea. There is not accepted "moderated" amount or cyanide or cocaine that has any benefit to your health and well-being.

 

 

 

It's not that eating crappy food in moderation is literally good for you, it just keeps my morale high and allows me to enjoy the food I eat while staying on track with eating a low calorie diet

 

 

 

If I eat super healthy, I hate the food I eat, I hate dieting, I hate the whole process and I always give up. I need to be able to eat Donuts, Ice Cream, Cakes, etc... or else I don't feel good or normal

 

 

 

For me, everything in moderation works great. It may not work for others who don't have the same discipline I have in terms of restricting calories while eating sugary foods

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dreamingoftigers

Honestly. We've cross-posted each time we've posted on this thread :laugh:

 

Please don't think I'm trying to undermine your experience/advice etc.

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brahmabull117
Honestly. We've cross-posted each time we've posted on this thread :laugh:

 

Please don't think I'm trying to undermine your experience/advice etc.

 

 

 

Not at all :)

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You have to want it more. I can tell you, I'd love to eat pizza for dinner 7 nights a week. I MAYBE have it once a week in the off season, and maybe once a month in the summer. I maintain a strict diet, and hardly cheat. I train like an animal in the gym. Most of my activities when not working are big calorie burners, like rollerblading, tennis, or beach volleyball. I've been dedicated for 25+ and am glad I have been. I still perform at athletic levels I did in my 20's, that's my payoff.

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brahmabull117
You have to want it more. I can tell you, I'd love to eat pizza for dinner 7 nights a week. I MAYBE have it once a week in the off season, and maybe once a month in the summer. I maintain a strict diet, and hardly cheat. I train like an animal in the gym. Most of my activities when not working are big calorie burners, like rollerblading, tennis, or beach volleyball. I've been dedicated for 25+ and am glad I have been. I still perform at athletic levels I did in my 20's, that's my payoff.

 

 

 

you don't have to have a super strict diet though. I'm about the same size as you except that i'm about 12% BF (you're closer to 8%) and I eat whatever I want

 

 

I've dropped 30 Lbs eating whatever I want - not that I eat super unhealthy, I love fruits and meat so I eat a lot of steak, pork, potato, etc... but I don't eat veggies and chicken 24/7 either. I eat whatever I want when I go out with my friends and usually treat myself everyday

 

 

You can be in great shape and look great as long as you restrict your calories and train hard. That's the biggest key. The super strict warrior lifestyle can be fun but is certainly not necessary

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todreaminblue
I don't know what's wrong with me. I have always struggled with my weight but at certain times in my past, I've gotten into pretty- to very- good shape, by running marathons, half-marathons and other races, and doing different diets, for instance Atkins or the Eat Clean Diet.

 

I know the benefits of eating well and working out- physical, emotional and mental. Yet I am stuck in this cycle of continually NOT honoring my desires and goals, and instead eating too much, drinking too much, etc. And then hating myself for it. I have a great education that I worked hard for and paid for on my own, a great career, a good relationship although I think we have similar issues of eating too much and drinking too much and generally being lazy and unproductive (yet we also have the same traits of being passionate and creative and intelligent... but I am very ambitious and can be "hard-working" when it's required, i.e. at the last minute after I procrastinate a bunch). And we have recently experienced a long and drawn-out miscarriage which has caused me to be depressed and unlike myself, although I can't blame it all on that because these problems have haunted me for years, they just seem even bigger right now.

 

I just have horrible habits and routines and no structure at all. I feel like I need to change everything about myself! Looking back, I've gotten into good shape when I was surrounded by people and/or in a relationship with someone who had good disciplined habits and who was in good shape. Why can't I just be disciplined and motivated myself, without having to rely on someone else??

 

I'm just giving an honest assessment of where I'm at and seeing if anyone has any advice for me. :-/ Thanks.

 

 

I want to be honest here because that is the way I think I can help you.I too want to get back into shape, I have been at peak fitness many times in my life.I have done recruit training in the navy and it wasnt easy, I love cycling sprint fast walking, I love sport and I actually prefer vegetables and healthy food I love eating raw foods.

 

 

I can be extremely disciplined, to the point I drive people insane.I have been procrastinating too I think so I am not attractive to others.Sounds sick doesn't it?I get too much attention when I am fit I dont smoke(have been lately) I dont drink I don't even want to eat heaps of chocolate and men, who automatically think that because I look fit and healthy permanent smile on my face, I am a target for them to approach.

 

So the therapy I have received in the past and counselors ,psyches,shrinks have told me its a protection thing I actually make myself unattractive.I am serial procrastinator wanting too and not wanting too get fit, I think that if I had people around me I trusted I would not feel like this if I wasn't so involved in what I am perceived as.I dont want to get fit to attract attention I want to be fit because I love being fit.

 

 

I haven't been with anyone who has loved me for who I am, just a body thing,not interested in me or the way i think and feel,so I have definitely made my body not an issue(even then I have warded off advances),in saying that it makes me unhappy because I can't be who I want to be it holds me back My brain works faster when I am fit I am unstoppable in my ability to be happy.So i am a living breathing contradiction.

 

Procrastination is the point in topic I will talk about in your case here,for every procrastination there is normally a reason behind it, an issue or thought you have that is stopping you from doing what you want to do and yes I think that could be people orientated for me it definitely is.I think if you do surround yourself with people that are good and care about you it isn't a fact that you need them, its a fact that you can be motivated by motives of happiness and feeling supported.Support is something everyone needs at one time to have success with anything.You aren't meant to stand alone on everything.The world is too harsh for that.The two things I would say are required to succeed are the two F's.Faith and Friends......good luck to you and yours.....Deb

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wannaberunner
You have to want it more. I can tell you, I'd love to eat pizza for dinner 7 nights a week. I MAYBE have it once a week in the off season, and maybe once a month in the summer. I maintain a strict diet, and hardly cheat. I train like an animal in the gym. Most of my activities when not working are big calorie burners, like rollerblading, tennis, or beach volleyball. I've been dedicated for 25+ and am glad I have been. I still perform at athletic levels I did in my 20's, that's my payoff.

 

That is really impressive. :bunny: I admire/envy you.

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wannaberunner

Okay, so I'm going to try to eat in moderation and keep track of my calories every day. (I have done this before, using MyFitnessPal, and it's worked, I just haven't stuck with it).

 

If I can't do that consistently then I'm going to cut out all sugars/processed foods and go to great lengths to figure out why I can't keep away from them. I have a feeling it has to do with bigger personality issues like some of you have suggested. I can't be disciplined at work, with food, with drink.. I am just an out of control mess. So if I can't do it on my own I will try behavioral therapy or something to figure this out, because I am really tired of it, as I *do* want to be fit and healthy, but something within me sabotages that goal time and again. :(

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wannaberunner

What is a good calorie limit goal? 1400 calories a day? I am 5'2" and 162ish pounds and would like to weigh 130 or less. If I work out that day do I eat those extra calories or stay at 1400 consistently?

 

I appreciate any help. Thank you.

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That is really impressive. :bunny: I admire/envy you.

 

Well no need to envy. Just fall in love with what you do. I LOVE weightlifting, volleyball, tennis, softball, rollerblading, etc. I would do it for fun alone. Find the activities you LOVE doing, and do as much as you can time wise. And as I always share, go buy the book The Zone Diet. Do what you love, and learn nutrition. That book the best place to start.

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What is a good calorie limit goal? 1400 calories a day? I am 5'2" and 162ish pounds and would like to weigh 130 or less. If I work out that day do I eat those extra calories or stay at 1400 consistently?

 

I appreciate any help. Thank you.

 

Your goal weight times 15. So 130x15 = 1950 calories a day. Don't try to lose it overnight, it's impossible. Focus on solid, healthy weight loss, not instant gratification. There is no such thing. Shoot for 5 meals a day each consisting approx 1/3rd each fat, protein, carbs. Exercise as much as you can, and enjoy. I might go 1 hour each tennis, blading, volleyball for example, and that's 3 hours of calorie burning.

 

Go get that book!

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brahmabull117
What is a good calorie limit goal? 1400 calories a day? I am 5'2" and 162ish pounds and would like to weigh 130 or less. If I work out that day do I eat those extra calories or stay at 1400 consistently?

 

I appreciate any help. Thank you.

 

 

 

I would aim for 1200-1500 regardless

 

 

 

Go to bed a little hungry/empty stomach and you'll see results

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15 times weight is already low. For weight maintenance I recommend 20 times weight for an active person. 15 is already a deficit, and it's at 30 plus pounds lower than current weight. You want controlled weight loss, and you want a diet plan that won't snap like a rubber band every couple days because you ate too little and are starving.

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brahmabull117
15 times weight is already low. For weight maintenance I recommend 20 times weight for an active person. 15 is already a deficit, and it's at 30 plus pounds lower than current weight. You want controlled weight loss, and you want a diet plan that won't snap like a rubber band every couple days because you ate too little and are starving.

 

 

 

huh? 20 times weight for me is 4000 calories, I would gain weight like a pig eating like that

 

 

I don't really look at that. I would look at how many calories you burn daily using any of the daily metabolic calculators and aim for eating 500 - 1000 calories below that

 

 

I actually eat about 10 times weight to lose weight - about 2000 calories

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