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I am shockingly boring now


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I've been sober since January. Not that long. I feel kinda really blah all the time. I've become boring. I was talking to a friend who for his own reasons has gotten sober as well and he is miserable, too. The two of us (this isn't my ex, ok...) are "the miserable friends" (I call us that).

 

I don't think I'm depressed. I sleep and eat normally. I'm just... gone. Out to lunch. No spark. Dull.

 

I was examining my feelings yesterday and realized that a large portion of my normal feelings are just not there any more. I feel empty. It's not bad, but kinda trippy. Like I took 5 hits of really good liquid LSD. The kind that went around in freshmint breath freshener bottles when I was younger.

 

I also feel like I am not sociable at all any more. I can go hours without speaking. Sometimes all day. This is not like me at all.

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I wonder if this is when it gets really hard, to stay sober. Because honestly the only thing I want to do right now is get wasted. f***.

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well maybe it's because all the things that you did for fun or as a hobby involved drugs so now you have to build a new interesting life without the drugs.

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Get a pinata and smack the hell outta it.

 

You just need to do some fun things. I was kinda down and decided to go to H-depot with friends, climbed in rubber maid totes and had a race down the aisles. Why? Well why not? Stupid for 4 grown women to have a tote race in H-depot but we had fun.

 

Gotta think outside the box!! Do something weird! :p

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Are you in NA/AA? Not that it is a cure-all for melancholy moods but working the steps and attending meetings is said to help a lot of people.

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You have taken a big step to reinvent yourself and yes for a while what seemed like fun will be missed..however once you see the "real" world and what it has to offer you won't feel so blah.

 

Hang in there..and as someone else said go do some goofball things, open up and relax in your new you...it's allllllllllllll good..

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Are you in NA/AA? Not that it is a cure-all for melancholy moods but working the steps and attending meetings is said to help a lot of people.

 

I'm in AA.

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I'm struggling right now. I don't know what it is. I have to fake it until I make it. Maybe I should go to a meeting tonight.

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I'm struggling right now. I don't know what it is. I have to fake it until I make it. Maybe I should go to a meeting tonight.

That would be wise. Call your sponsor.. maybe doing a little service work would help. My husband is in the program and that is how he got sober.. threw himself into service work and the steps. They say when you first get sober it's so hard, a lot of people do a meeting every single day for 3 months. You're not alone, anyway.

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not exactly parallel, but talking to my ex was like a drug, and it was when i felt my most blah that i had the strongest urge to call or email, just to get a little bump.

 

yeah, i'd guess it's hardest now, when the drive to create a new you has worn off and it's all about maintenance.

 

but that's also the best and most important part, because you are a vibrant person, and now you have the chance to uncover that, rather than shade it or mask it or hide it behind a substance or another person.

 

nothing profound, i know, but i hope it helps...you seem like a fantastically smart, clever person otter, though you may not feel it at the moment. you don't need drama or drink to be who you already are. stay strong.

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Believe me, it is temporary, the receptor in the brain craves the sugars that alcolhol feeds. You know check w/web MD or if someone smarter than I am can enlighten the alcoholic cravings other than physical, the mental part is the brain wanting.

They've discovered there is a substance that seems to protect cells to some degree from the ravages of alcohol. This substance was glutamine, an amino acid. Glutamine seems to help restore the nutritional imbalance that can cause alcoholic cravings in some people. Everyone's body produces glutamine, but some people don't seem to produce enough. If you're one of those people, you may find that a supplement of glutamine will reduce your physical craving for alcohol. You can get glutamine, called L-glutamine or glutamic acid, in powder form at a health food store. Mix it into fruit juices and drink it. Don't use it in anything hot because heat reduces its effectiveness. I learned that from my body building days....

 

Bob

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  • 2 weeks later...
cantlivewithoutyou

i don't know what you are getting off of, but i was a hardcore alcoholic, HARDCORE, blackouts every night, from drinking alone, etc...i got sober almost 4 years ago and feeiling boring was one of the worst things. i felt totally unsociable didn't want to do anything and when i had conversations i felt like i wasn't really saying anything and was losing the interest of people. well, i hate to admit it, it did last for awhile, but now i feel better than ever, more confidence and selfesteem, more social than i was even when i was drunk, and far less annoying:) drugs and alcohol change your personality , but it's phony. it takes awhile for your brain chemistry to straighten out, but when it does it feels great. good luck, don't give up!

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I'm struggling right now. I don't know what it is. I have to fake it until I make it. Maybe I should go to a meeting tonight.

 

you can pm me if needed, it is not easy and nobody is perfext honey, we all just need to figure on one day - the one that's here....

 

sometimes I hate today.... but lately - that is life....

 

 

pm if you need me sweety...

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HotCaliGirl
This is not like me at all.

Maybe this IS like you. Maybe this is the type of person you really are, that you are coming to find out without chemicals to influence you...not sure how long u were using etc to know if that would make sense.

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ReluctantRomeo

I think you'll find *safe* fun things to do sooner or later BO.

 

In the meantime, think of this: Switzerland is boring and uneventful, Iraq is exciting and a new thing every day. Where would you prefer to live? :lmao:

 

Boring is not always bad. Exciting is not always good. There's an ancient Chinese curse which goes: may you live in "interesting" times ;)

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People who are drunk think other people who are drunk are amazingly funny. I imagine it's the same with drugs. I doubt it's that you're 'boring' now but rather that you weren't as funny/interesting as you thought you were then.

 

You write well and seem quite bright; I expect you are much more interesting than you give yourself credit for. It's just the chemical entertainment skewed your idea of what constitutes 'interesting' and 'boring'. Myself, I find few things more boring than listening to drunks uttering drivel and laughing hysterically at each other for it. You will interest people whose faculties are intact now; seems to me that's a bigger gain than entertaining people whose judgement is impaired.

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ReluctantRomeo
You will interest people whose faculties are intact now; seems to me that's a bigger gain than entertaining people whose judgement is impaired.

 

Such a small audience? That's not very encouraging, Outcast :lmao:

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Blind otter, how old are you honey? I've also hit a milestone in my life , not stopping alcohol , but getting rid of the drama. My marrige was so drama filled that here was always something to be hyped about .Friends called to see what was going on , (something crappy always was ) and there was always something to discuss. After a while , realizing I did'ent want the drama , I have a totally boring life .I'm not really sociable either , I'm 26 , and I think around this age , for some the clubs stop being fun ,(I never really was into them ), many stop the all night binge parties, and become more like "responsible " adults ( cinge) ,its pretty boring. I think everyone's right on with replacing the excitement you get from your "fix" with something else , theres always something to do if you look hard enough , unfortunently a large number of these things seen to involve alcohol or drugs. (thats what I've found)Seems like everybody my age is drunk or high, and the ones who arent are closeted at home being bored or posting on a forum board :p . True. You just have to find a way to entertain yourself and make it through this stage. * Loves * -Tink- If you need to talk feel free to pm me , I don't have anything else to do .:confused:

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blind_otter
Blind otter, how old are you honey? I've also hit a milestone in my life , not stopping alcohol , but getting rid of the drama. My marrige was so drama filled that here was always something to be hyped about .Friends called to see what was going on , (something crappy always was ) and there was always something to discuss. After a while , realizing I did'ent want the drama , I have a totally boring life .I'm not really sociable either , I'm 26 , and I think around this age , for some the clubs stop being fun ,(I never really was into them ), many stop the all night binge parties, and become more like "responsible " adults ( cinge) ,its pretty boring. I think everyone's right on with replacing the excitement you get from your "fix" with something else , theres always something to do if you look hard enough , unfortunently a large number of these things seen to involve alcohol or drugs. (thats what I've found)Seems like everybody my age is drunk or high, and the ones who arent are closeted at home being bored or posting on a forum board :p . True. You just have to find a way to entertain yourself and make it through this stage. * Loves * -Tink- If you need to talk feel free to pm me , I don't have anything else to do .:confused:

 

Yep, I'm 26 as well. I think this has to do with the parts of the brain that govern rational thought and decision making ar finally mature, haha. I was also the person that friends called to get updates on the soap opera that was my life. After a while it not only got old, it got excessively humiliating.

 

Honestly tho now that I think about it, I never really did much when I was f***ed up, but randomly wander to various people's houses to mooch liquor. :rolleyes:

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You need to stop associating "fun" with booze and drugs. It is hard to stop a thought process that has been engrained in you for years. You think you are boring because you haven't come to terms with a person who doesn't use. You might have to change friends to make this switch as old friends might keep bringing you down and the temptation is real to relapse.

 

It all comes down to what you really want. Do you want the life you had ( and if you really think about it was it really all that fun ) or do you want the possibility of a new future? You know your old life and you are scared about what this new one has in store. Give it a chance to flower in you and you just might not see yourself not as dull and boring but free and passionate.

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blind_otter

I already changed friends. I don't associate with anyone who I used to use with (accept my ex, blah blah blah). I'm not frightened actually, I'm just not used to it. I am giving it a chance. I just needed to vent. I have to explore my feelings about this new situation and I can't just charge ahead. I have done that my whole life with usually dismal results.

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bluetuesday
For what it's worth - I don't think you're shockingly boring Otter.

 

bluechoc beat me to this one.

 

b_o, you're one of the very smartest and most charming people on the shack. and i suspect you're just as good company in real life too. you never cease to be helpful, patient, blisteringly self-aware, funny and clever. i think, i have always thought, that you are (blah blah blah) a bit of an inspiration. :o

 

and one of the best things, to me, is that you seem so unafraid. unafraid to know youself, unafraid to accept yourself, unafraid to challenge yourself. that's how i see you, as a woman who rises above and who tries to pull others up too.

 

i don't know you and i'm proud as hell of you. next time you need an adjective to describe yourself, think past B and head straight for the Cs. focus on charming and clever and don't look back. :)

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blind_otter
bluechoc beat me to this one.

 

b_o, you're one of the very smartest and most charming people on the shack. and i suspect you're just as good company in real life too. you never cease to be helpful, patient, blisteringly self-aware, funny and clever. i think, i have always thought, that you are (blah blah blah) a bit of an inspiration. :o

 

and one of the best things, to me, is that you seem so unafraid. unafraid to know youself, unafraid to accept yourself, unafraid to challenge yourself. that's how i see you, as a woman who rises above and who tries to pull others up too.

 

i don't know you and i'm proud as hell of you. next time you need an adjective to describe yourself, think past B and head straight for the Cs. focus on charming and clever and don't look back. :)

 

Oh, BT -- that was loverly. :love:

 

:o :o :o :o

 

And anyways, how could I not have a soft spot for you? You were making the "shocked elderly british woman" sound effect when I squirted the first time.

 

:lmao:

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