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Is there such thing as Addicted to Love?


white_angelbreath

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white_angelbreath

yeah, i used to have that feeling, and i would crave for it because it makes me happy and makes me forget everything. but i don't know if there is such thing as having withdrawal symptoms from it, because i think i do now. i try to control myself now and not be obsessed about love or loving somebody or being loved about and the effect of this is that i get depressed, i don't go out in public or talk with someone that much, i cry alot and i can't sleep very well and i have guilty feelings... although sometimes i think that i want to get back to what i used to feeling - you know, being in love most of the time.

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You can be addicted to the idea of love. Being in-love is a good feeling so we want to have it again and again. You need to be careful though as if you give your heart you can get hurt and the pain is not good. Lust and passion are also good feelings but do not last. Are you sure it's love or lust your addicted to?

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white_angelbreath

i think its the idea of being in love. i miss the feeling that a guy love me, gives me attention, cuddle me, talks to me, be with me and all the dating stuffs. i miss it all but then i kissed dating goodbye... i just don't want to date for the sake of dating.. i am waiting for that one that I really really like. unfortunately, i'm having the blues of not being in love.

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Find other joys in life. There is more to enjoy about being alive than 'being in love'. It's important to not need love so badly that you're 'blue' without it.

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white angelbreath, i get you!

Most of my twenties i was alon, enjoying the single life, getting layed, drunk & enjoying being a batchelor, not wanting to be tyed down!

Whe i was 28 i met someone & it was like something i'd never known before, a magic, the feeling of sharing time & experiences with someone that wasn't family!

 

Ok, it was magical as she was foreign & we travelled a lot & it was so magical & romantic & it was a drug, no doubt!

Those little kisses, passionate sex, being together at parties, in bars, knowing that there was someone special that thinks the same,someone to wake next to & put your arm around in bed! just an unbelievable feeling!

 

Then, whack, it ends, foor whatever reason! & your drug is gone. Depression, anxiety, all this follows & i know, big time. You feel the need to get back with someone asap, just like when they say when your dog dies, get another quick & it makes the heartbreak of the last one go (easier)!

Yes Outcast, we need to be happy without another being responsible for it & that is hard for some! I don't know if it's codependency or what, but yearning for what you had & being emotional is ok, but it can't get you someone else, it's then when the difficulty is, making new relationships & not being needy & desperate!

(like i'm giving this advice) :laugh:

Be ok

cg

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white_angelbreath

right, it's like right now, i'm depressed of not having the feeling of "being in love" and i hated every moment of it, and i'm getting this feeling that i want to be in-love so that i'll be normal and happy again like i used to, but i stop myself, because i know right its not the solution to all my sadness. i know right now that i'll have to be single until i find the right one, and i don't want to settle for less than what i want in a guy, but on the other side of things i do get to feel lonely and needing someone so that i'll feel ""being in love." i like being in that state of "being in love" makes me feel happy and carefree. i know right now i don't really want to be "in-love" but this withdrawal feeling of not having that feeling of "being in love" is killing me bit by bit. i know i'll survive this but i'm losing patience" and i'm getting frustrated.

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i like being in that state of "being in love" makes me feel happy and carefree. i know right now i don't really want to be "in-love" but this withdrawal feeling of not having that feeling of "being in love" is killing me bit by bit. i know i'll survive this but i'm losing patience" and i'm getting frustrated.

 

Hoo boy. The 'being in love' feeling you crave is an artificial high created by your biochemicals specifically to persuade you to mate. That's why that famous 'being in love' phase (which we call 'infatuation' ) never lasts. You're in big, big trouble if you're so addicted to that feeling that you're miserable without - you are functionally addicted to a sensation that's nothing other than a bunch of chemicals. It's not really different from being addicted to coke or something.

 

If you actually wish to have a long and happy marriage, you have to grow out of enjoying being intoxicated and learn how to love loving rather than 'being in love'. If you don't, you'll be doomed to dropping every guy after a year or so when the 'being in love' (i.e. infatuation) wears off, as it always will.

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white_angelbreath
The 'being in love' feeling you crave is an artificial high created by your biochemicals specifically to persuade you to mate. That's why that famous 'being in love' phase (which we call 'infatuation' ) never lasts.

 

yes, you're right.. it's no wonder all of my relationships do not last more than one year. i really do like being infatuated because of the wonderful feelings it gives me. its like an adrenaline rush where i feel so happy and always on the move. now that i don't have it, i feel bored. besides, it's my own choice that i don't let my relationship last more than a year. if it did i would see my self as being committed to the guy i'm having a relationship with. i just like the dating and the being "ïn-love" part, but no commitment. i'm just not ready for it and could not live with it. unconsciously, i would sabotage the relationship just to end it because it is suffocating me. although, in the end, i would cry and feel sorry for myself because the breaking up is too much, too painful, and i could no longer have my daily dose of "being in-love" feelings. i know this is just shallow and does not lead to lasting relationships.

 

that is why i stopped having these "empty" relatioships until i fully recovered. i know that i have to take this one-day-at-a-time but sometimes having these withdrawal symptoms is just too much, gets me depressed most of the times. but i do want to change. i don't know if indeed before i had these "biochemicals that persuades me to mate" as what you have said, right now, i have these feelings of settling down and be responsible for my life. i want stability and long-term happiness. maybe there are biochemicals that makes me feel that way, or maybe it's just part of maturity.

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Very well said. I agree with you 100% and more.

I was addicted to that high from the chemicals released in my body when I was a teenager.

Through counceling I learned why I got bored and detached from relationships within a month or two.

It is a hard addiction to break but it can be done.

I'm glad I learned it when I was younger and got it under control when I did.

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its like an adrenaline rush

 

That's what it is. So find another way to get adrenaline fixes. Take up a sport. Doesn't have to be running but take up a sport or maybe dancing. You can get highs from sports, you know!

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white_angelbreath

I do take several sports and I enjoy it every much. But it's a different adrenaline rush, I mean, for me, getting it from being infatuated.

 

Anyways, I'm getting it over my system being addicted to love. I think sports is also a good idea. I've been running just to get my mind off my addiction and feel good about myself. Running is good for me, though, makes me feel I'm constantly on the move. It's like travelling, you're always moving. I just like things that gives me the rush.

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Yeh, doing things that give you a rush, codependency, no patience, fu**ing things up because of this, thats me too, it's the worst thing, but how we are!

Will we change, i'm trying desperately, but time will tell!

cg

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How can you tell if you're Addicted to Love? I mean you have addiction to love

 

I just recently realized that I had a problem and have joined Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA).

 

It's an easy search to fine on Google and there is a questionnaire available there for you to privately take.

 

Out of forty questions, I would guess I answered yes to 75% of the questions. I never identified this as an issue before so it's all new to me.

 

Good luck and your search for the truth.

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I fall easily for people, i fear being alone & maybe the prescence of a partner makes me happy, fulfilled.

To hugg someone, kiss them & be intimate. To fear their warmth close to me, makes me feel whole!

I believe i'm too dependent on others for happiness!

It is a great feeling being in love & being loved & is like a drug & i fall apart when alone. I hate being alone, scares the sh*t out of me!

Shall check out that website, looks interesting!

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notmakingsense

I've thought about this a lot recently. I have problems with all kinds of dependancies.... it used to be pot, extreme sports, alcohol, and now also sex/love. I think that some personalities are just more succeptable(sp?) than others, and the chemicals (or whatever) that come about during sex or a new romance affect me in the same way.

 

It can't simply be sex though, because porn alone doesn't do it for me. It is the emotional bonding that happens when I am intimate with a woman. And yes, the feeling of unconditional love brings a high to me that any other substance cannot come close to.

 

My new-years resolution is going to be detox... I want to see how my life changes without any kind of substance (for a while anyway)... chemical or female! :p

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