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She drinks, ...she always wants to fight me!


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So i met this woman over 2 years ago in the Nevada ... we got pretty close ( no we didnt sleep with each other or even kissed ) but in time I grew to like her alot. Trouble was she was on the rocks with her bf and was going on and off with their relationship .

 

A year ago, I flew down and she invited me to stay with her at her place ( i slept on the couch ) ,we were at a party and she got pretty wasted ; wanted to fight EVERYONE ... and particularly me.

 

During that time . these guys held her back and she kept shouting ( I LOVE **** my name **** ) ... and was going berzerk that we had to remove her from the party. I stayed . then she calls me from her place and said to me on the phone she wanted to have sex.

 

I drove to her place only to find her passed out . I didnt take advantage of it and i left her place .. The next day she sobered up ; i told her what happened and she was pretty embarased and disgusted . After that; I left and we grew distant ...

 

Fast Forward a year later ... today. IM back in Nevada and i saw her last night

 

... we caught up last night and played some pool at a local bar in town and -- not surprised -- she wanted to fight me again throwing punches , biting me and even kicking my face !

 

During our little rumble ( more like really agreessive playfighting with us rolling around the ground ) As a man , I refused to hit a woman and all i could do was hold her down while she dug her nails everywhere at me and even took bite marks allover my body.

 

at some point she said to me " you like it when we do this dont you . You know someone said for me to marry you ( me ) ... Youre too nice **my name ** ; YOU NEED TO GET ANGRY , let it out "

 

We left the place went back to her place and she fell asleep. I left without saying bye and this morning she texts me :

 

" Sorry about last night , im a ****ing bitch . I dont know why i always want to fight you fml. Sorry about the bite marks , god im such a bitch "

 

I asked her out this afternoon for lunch and she agreed ... im going to go see her in a couple of hours and when i come back I thought id get peoples opinions . AM I CRAZY ? what is the reason why she always wants to fight me . She did it a year ago and last night she did it again ". Is this her way of showing some kind of flirtatious behaviour . I keep wondering why she wants me to get physical with her and tells me " youre too nice ; I want you to get angry "

 

 

What are your thoughts in this situation folks ?

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One of my standards for myself is I don’t accept or tolerate any sort of abuse. This seems to be several forms of abuse - alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, and physical abuse. That’s an immediate red flag for me and an immediate end to any contact with this woman. To me, that behavior can only lead to trouble and I don’t invite trouble into my life. I would never see her again and would have no problem telling her why.

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Like now. You shouldn't even be having to ask !!

 

Agreed ...

 

This is the second time shes done it and as I explained above ; she wants me to get angry and saying im too nice . WHY does someone want me to get physical with somoene of the opposite sex .

 

This only happens when shes had one too many drinks

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One of my standards for myself is I don’t accept or tolerate any sort of abuse. This seems to be several forms of abuse - alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, and physical abuse. That’s an immediate red flag for me and an immediate end to any contact with this woman. To me, that behavior can only lead to trouble and I don’t invite trouble into my life. I would never see her again and would have no problem telling her why.

 

Shes the first person in my life whos ever done this . All the women ive dated and met are never physical ( or alcoholic ) ... and for some reason I am attracted to her

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Dude.... WHY?!?!

 

Do you want the cops out next time and see if you can both end up with charges?

 

Not normal, not healthy, not okay - why do you keep going back for more?

 

Could you imagine if a woman posted this? About being interested in a guy who gets drunk, goes bat**** crazy and tries to fight everyone?

 

She's got some problems that you can't fix.

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Why does she act like this? It's because she's got issues. Perhaps a psychiatrist could figure her out, but this behaviour is not in the realms of normal.

 

What I want to know is why nobody called the police and had her arrested for assault and antisocial behaviour. The staff in the bar have a lot to answer for.

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Shes the first person in my life whos ever done this . All the women ive dated and met are never physical ( or alcoholic ) ... and for some reason I am attracted to her

 

I understand being attracted to crazy. It can be exciting. Intriguing. Until her behavior causes you to end up in jail. Lose your job. Your reputation. If she ever accuses you of attacking her, you’re going to jail. Even if you have scratches and scars.

 

The fundamental problem is a lack of accountability. Whenever a person blames what they do on something else, that’s a character flaw that’s unlikely to be fixed. And will rear it’s ugly head in other areas of her life. In my opinion, a person who makes excuses or blame shifts is not relationship material. She attacks you because she’s “drunk” and a “b1tch”. Please, she attacks you because she’s a dumbass and thinks you’re one too. And you are if you accept this behavior.

 

Just my opinion. ....

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A year ago you posted:

 

Yeah she told me she has some deep mental issues ( where she literally wants to kill ppl ; probably her parents because she seems to have deep rooted hatred for both of them ) --- She wasnt like this when i met her last year . Just the 10 days i spent with her ; i saw a side of her that i would never had guessed anyone could ever be .. first of its kind for me tbh .

 

I do have a good attitude and at my age, ive been there done that . Shes 24 years old and i have over a decade past hers so ive matured enough not to do stupid stuff she has shown me ...

 

Truth is she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in my life and i am a bit infatuated with her looks but deep down she IS a mess ...

 

So she is over a decade younger than you, mentally ill with homicidal thoughts..... But she is hot.

 

COME ON DUDE.

 

No chick is hot enough for this type of craziness. The fact that you go back for more really makes me question your judgement.

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I understand being attracted to crazy. It can be exciting. Intriguing. Until her behavior causes you to end up in jail. Lose your job. Your reputation. If she ever accuses you of attacking her, you’re going to jail. Even if you have scratches and scars.

 

The fundamental problem is a lack of accountability. Whenever a person blames what they do on something else, that’s a character flaw that’s unlikely to be fixed. And will rear it’s ugly head in other areas of her life. In my opinion, a person who makes excuses or blame shifts is not relationship material. She attacks you because she’s “drunk” and a “b1tch”. Please, she attacks you because she’s a dumbass and thinks you’re one too. And you are if you accept this behavior.

 

Just my opinion. ....

 

I told her i will NEVER hit a woman ... and she whispered to me " I want you to get angry. YOURE TOO NICE "

 

apparantely she thinks im too much of a nice guy thats why im not getting any .... her previous relationship turned out that her bf was physical with her

 

is she saying she wants me to get mad because it turns HER on ?

 

thats pretty strange done you thjink ?

 

The bar staff eventually showed up and she started to light a cigarette in the non smoking area and we left . When we got to her place she passed out . I left .

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Yes it's all very strange. Her behavior is outside of the realm of normal.

 

Mental illness often causes unpredictable and bizarre behavior.

 

Perhaps she was abused in the past and tried to recreate those abuse scenarios

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BarbedFenceRider

She may have some "abuse" issues from her past. And the alcohol is bringing that bubbling to the top. I don't know your past either, are you "fixer" type of person? This would be a be a big red flag as you and her will NEVER be compatible. You cannot "fix" this and she will continue the behavior unless properly treated....

As a friend, I can see that if you truly care for her, then she needs to stop drinking and other triggering activities that lead to this behavior. See a therapist and work on healthy pastimes to alleviate anti-social situations. Include her on healthy family or friendly type events, give her a glass window to look through. Hopefully she doesn't implode and destroy herself. You just make sure you are not around when she does...

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This girl likes aggressive, downright violent sex. I have dated the type before. She wants you to take charge of her, overpower her, and have some angry, passionate sex. That's why she keeps giving you those little hints that you're too nice. She isn't attracted to nice, she's attracted to a guy that will be strong, aggressive, and do things that most women would consider abusive.

 

You said she was hot, and I bet she is incredible in bed. Problem is, as a man, you are taking a chance with a woman like her. Keep that in mind if you choose to indulge yourself with her.

 

What am i supposed to do - hit her in public ? id get arrested if i hit a woman . I will NOT do that .

 

You are absolutely correct though about the violent sex as she definitely seems to be into that sort of thing . Thing is - that is not me.

 

Not gonna lie ; i like her alot and im attracted to her fiestyness - and downright to the point im conflicted .

 

I want to ask her out one last time . I leave on friday ...

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Just remember....

 

If you go to jail, call your moma because no body else cares about you (advice from a rap song :lmao: )

 

You are a glutton for punishment aren't you?

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so its my last day out here

 

 

she didnt get back to me for lunch on tuesday

 

last night i asked her to get drinks she said she cant cuz shes working

 

and she asked what time i was leaving ; she never replied

 

 

=(

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She wants you to show her that you are not gonna take her crap. You were probably a bit too passive when dealing with her and she was turned off. She was testing you to see if you could give her what she wants, and just like you said, that is not you. She seems to have noticed that and has lost interest because of it.

 

If something like this comes up again, don't hit her in public or anything, but at least show her that you won't just sit back and let her kick the crap out of you.

 

I have dated a couple women like this. Both had a rape fetish and insisted that I force myself on them during sex. The one girl studied martial arts and was a bit of a scrapper. She fought back like a tigress. She told me in advance that was what she wanted and said none of her exes were up to it. We spent pretty much all night wrestling, fighting, and having sex like we hated one another. Fun times.

 

 

right ... how am i supposed to b even doing any of that agressiveness even it i wanted to show it -

 

first off were at a pool hall . people allover the place .. 2nd she had her gay guy friend with who i met for the first time .

 

if someone saw me lay a hand on her ; id get arrsted , jumped or even beat up for hitting a woman .

 

 

u see , privately sure ill get aggressive and fight and yes i do kkow she likes that sort of feistyness in guys .

 

again , my conscious , responsible awareness knows better than to pull anything stupid like fight back in public .

 

if its just two of us . sure game on

 

but nah , people allover . public place ...

 

you know what i mean ? i get what your saying about ahe gets off on that sort of thing but man if we were at her place , a park ... again game on.

 

let me ask u this ; was the gurls you dealing with piss drunk / on drugs cuz this woman was ...

 

the next day she texts me saying im sorry im a bitch ; i dont know why i wanna fight you “

 

anyway im hopping on a plane back home .

 

she didnt even contact me after she said she would .

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So i met this woman over 2 years ago in the Nevada ... we got pretty close ( no we didnt sleep with each other or even kissed ) but in time I grew to like her alot. Trouble was she was on the rocks with her bf and was going on and off with their relationship .

 

A year ago, I flew down and she invited me to stay with her at her place ( i slept on the couch ) ,we were at a party and she got pretty wasted ; wanted to fight EVERYONE ... and particularly me.

 

During that time . these guys held her back and she kept shouting ( I LOVE **** my name **** ) ... and was going berzerk that we had to remove her from the party. I stayed . then she calls me from her place and said to me on the phone she wanted to have sex.

 

I drove to her place only to find her passed out . I didnt take advantage of it and i left her place .. The next day she sobered up ; i told her what happened and she was pretty embarased and disgusted . After that; I left and we grew distant ...

 

Fast Forward a year later ... today. IM back in Nevada and i saw her last night

 

... we caught up last night and played some pool at a local bar in town and -- not surprised -- she wanted to fight me again throwing punches , biting me and even kicking my face !

 

During our little rumble ( more like really agreessive playfighting with us rolling around the ground ) As a man , I refused to hit a woman and all i could do was hold her down while she dug her nails everywhere at me and even took bite marks allover my body.

 

at some point she said to me " you like it when we do this dont you . You know someone said for me to marry you ( me ) ... Youre too nice **my name ** ; YOU NEED TO GET ANGRY , let it out "

 

We left the place went back to her place and she fell asleep. I left without saying bye and this morning she texts me :

 

" Sorry about last night , im a ****ing bitch . I dont know why i always want to fight you fml. Sorry about the bite marks , god im such a bitch "

 

I asked her out this afternoon for lunch and she agreed ... im going to go see her in a couple of hours and when i come back I thought id get peoples opinions . AM I CRAZY ? what is the reason why she always wants to fight me . She did it a year ago and last night she did it again ". Is this her way of showing some kind of flirtatious behaviour . I keep wondering why she wants me to get physical with her and tells me " youre too nice ; I want you to get angry "

 

 

What are your thoughts in this situation folks ?

 

we were at a party and she got pretty wasted ; wanted to fight EVERYONE ... and particularly me. -- She is a nasty drunk and it's not just about you. This is likely a regular occurrence. It's pretty unlikely that a year ago she had a rare outburst and then again a year later.

 

Sorry about the bite marks -- She assaulted you. You don't have to hit her, you need to call the police and file a complaint with pictures.

 

What are my thoughts? -- I'm not wondering about why she does what she does, I'm wondering why you would even see her again after the first problem with her.

 

Is this her way of showing some kind of flirtatious behaviour -- Even if it is, does this work for you? I mean, if you figure out that that's really her way of flirting, you're OK with that and so will continue to see her? If this is her way of flirting and you do become "intimate" with her, I hope you're into BDSM.

 

This is your thread, it should be about you. Forget about what's up with HER, focus on what's up with YOU for even going down this road. Find yourself a woman who is stable and flirts in a fun way.

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right ... how am i supposed to b even doing any of that agressiveness even it i wanted to show it -

 

first off were at a pool hall . people allover the place .. 2nd she had her gay guy friend with who i met for the first time .

 

if someone saw me lay a hand on her ; id get arrsted , jumped or even beat up for hitting a woman .

 

 

u see , privately sure ill get aggressive and fight and yes i do kkow she likes that sort of feistyness in guys .

 

again , my conscious , responsible awareness knows better than to pull anything stupid like fight back in public .

 

if its just two of us . sure game on

 

but nah , people allover . public place ...

 

you know what i mean ? i get what your saying about ahe gets off on that sort of thing but man if we were at her place , a park ... again game on.

 

let me ask u this ; was the gurls you dealing with piss drunk / on drugs cuz this woman was ...

 

the next day she texts me saying im sorry im a bitch ; i dont know why i wanna fight you “

 

anyway im hopping on a plane back home .

 

she didnt even contact me after she said she would .

 

She's like the bad boys who like to smack her in the face. You're like me we just don't hit women. I am more behind the two types of men. Just can't be too nice and you just can't be too brutal. Weak minded men are not acceptable today's world. She already told you she wants roughness brute force and your not doing that. Drunk is her way of living, the drinking is her life. Just can't do anything about it. I don't drink like that right now no drinks, I got one friend who drank so much both kidneys are gone he's life is like living hell in so much pain. People who drink should pay a visit at the

kidney dialysis center and see all those people on the beds getting flushed for several hours for 5 years until a suited kidneys are available? So drink-up and look what your going to get involved with soon. She needs to quit drinking just damaging herself internally.

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What are your thoughts in this situation folks ?

 

Ahh... okay, here goes.. I think this girl you like is an alcoholic who can't handler her alcohol and has anger management issues.

 

Alcohol is a bad one. Sometimes people need to realize what is a bad vice for them that does not go well with their personality type and they need to learn to avoid it and maybe pickup a new vice (if it seems that they need a vice in order to function in life).

 

 

My advice is try to convince this girl to stop drinking and maybe pickup smoking dope. I might make her more mellow. The anger, fighting and alcohol thing is sooner or later going to result in something bad happening. Either she will get punched in the face badly some someone in a public place or get arrested.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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She's like the bad boys who like to smack her in the face. You're like me we just don't hit women. I am more behind the two types of men. Just can't be too nice and you just can't be too brutal. Weak minded men are not acceptable today's world. She already told you she wants roughness brute force and your not doing that. Drunk is her way of living, the drinking is her life. Just can't do anything about it. I don't drink like that right now no drinks, I got one friend who drank so much both kidneys are gone he's life is like living hell in so much pain. People who drink should pay a visit at the

kidney dialysis center and see all those people on the beds getting flushed for several hours for 5 years until a suited kidneys are available? So drink-up and look what your going to get involved with soon. She needs to quit drinking just damaging herself internally.

 

Couldnt agree more .

 

Only thing tho is she has to be the one to stop drinking . its gotta be her choice ...

 

besides im already back home and since i left she hasnt reached out to me or anything ...

 

Im returning to her area in January ( for work ) .. i dont think im going to contact her this time

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  • 1 month later...

She is a crazy drunk who gets violent. There is no way on earth you should even consider being with her unless she completely stops drinking forever and is sober at least a couple of years to prove it. Even then, it might turn out she flies into a rage sober. Certainly she'd be no picnic while getting sober.....yes, you're crazy for staying involved.

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