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My son's drug addiction


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I am totally overwelmed. My son is addicted to weed. He is 21 years old. He has been using it for 4 years. Last summer he went manic, placed in the psyc ward and declared bipolar. He was released and went back to live with his girlfriend and to attend second year of university. His meds were not stabilized before he left - I realize it takes time. He dropped out and went back to weed. Fast forward. He is now on lithium, and Ativan which they just added. He is also still on the weed. He still lives with his girlfriend but she has brought him to see his dad twice this week 5 hour drive. He has been crying a lot and spoke of killing himself. I have seen none of this but she is very trustworthy. They both say it is just weed. According to him It is just weed. I disagree. I think it is a major problem here. It hurts that no one sees it this way. I love my son greatly but I can do nothing but pray he does not damage his brain beyond repair.....I think I should not walk away from it all. It hurts so much. Can someone give me some advice on how to handle this ? Thank you...

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Listen, I really have to ask before we get down to the nitty gritty...

 

 

Do you think the medications... Lithium for example, are better for him than marijuana?

 

 

You know why hes talking about suicide? All the mood "stabilizers" and crap they have him on. Weed doesn't make you suicidal.

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I really don't know. I trust that the doctors know what they are doing. He was a heavy user. I have no knowledge of what he is now. I am very laymen when it comes to drugs. Never used. I am afraid of brain damage and if it can become pernament.....

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I really don't know. I trust that the doctors know what they are doing. He was a heavy user. I have no knowledge of what he is now. I am very laymen when it comes to drugs. Never used. I am afraid of brain damage and if it can become pernament.....

 

I've been a heavy daily smoker for almost 10 years now. I'm fine, but it does affect everyone differently. Idk. It sounds like there are other drugs.

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Hope Shimmers

Lithium is a mood stabilizer that absolutely revolutionized the treatment of bipolar disorder. He should definitely be on lithium, and it requires strict monitoring and dosage adjustment so he needs to be followed closely.

 

There are no direct studies looking at an interaction between cannabis and lithium, but from a theoretical standpoint - because cannabis has sedative effects, using it while in the depressive phase of bipolar disease could result in serious exacerbation and extreme depression. Especially at uncontrolled doses of cannabis.

 

He needs to be seen immediately by whoever is taking care of his bipolar disease.

 

(all of this is just my opinion)

Edited by Hope Shimmers
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todreaminblue

Did mental health officials ever mention if the bi polar disorder was drug induced......

 

I have been involved with addicts most of my adult years......and what i know is they have to admit to a problem to fix the problem if they dont believe they have a problem that problem isnt going away anywhere soon.....

 

what i know about how to handle is ...actually not much...most of my teens have had drug problems most of their friends have drug problems.....and it isnt just weed they have come in contact with but the harder stuff......most of them use weed to counter balance the effect of ice.....the comedown.....helps them deal with it....which is really counter productive....

 

 

theres a place in australia a small country town that has been renamed the south pole.......because of the cause and effect of ice on this small community..ice has affected every family some directly some indirectly......

 

all i know is make sure he keeps up his mental health appointments.....but ultimately even though it hurts like hell to stand by and watch you have to just do that...watch...and hope...and pray for them to realize they have a problem......and when they hit rock bottom is more the time they will realize they have an issue......and thats what we wait for......for them to want to help themselves before we can actually join in and help....pick up the pieces from shattered dreams.....theirs and ours.......so know you arent alone with dealing with issues like this many parents are ....and all we can do is hope they make it through......i have to add its not uncommon for people with mental illness to use drugs.....to combat medications and their effects....more so done with heavy psychotropic drugs that have a sedative effect....

 

 

i went out with a guy a level four schizophrenic.....met him in a psych ward actually...what i couldnt handle was his illicit drug use so i ended it..the last thing i need si too date someone who uses drugs i deal with it enough........he used to call me every couple of weeks he had a new girlfriend..i tried to be there for him support him as a friend.......he is now i just found out through the grapevine....in goal for armed robbery...17 years apparently...... i feel guilty.....if i hadnt ended it ....maybe and tried harder to make sure he attended his appointments with mental health and helped him get off drugs.........even if it were for a couple of weeks later i had ended it..would he still be in the same spot.....

 

 

 

ultimately he made his choices.....and he would have done exactly what he wanted to with or without me...thats what i am trying to say....they have to make their choices....even if they are mistakes that hurt us to watch them make......so hope and pray and be there when they ask you to be and i am sending some prayers your way....good luck ....deb

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Clarence_Boddicker

It's not the weed. Pot might exasperate his mental health issues, but not cause them. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Ultimately it's up to him to decide if he wants to get better.

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Thank all of. Yu for responding. Yes, it has to be him that wants to get better. I have realized that he needs to hit rock bottom to change. That is really scary for me to face because it will be very bad. When he went manic last year it just about killed me. He used to always be an outdoorsy kind of person. Having him confined in a room in the beginning was very hard on me to watch. I barely made it through and went on anti depressants for a short time to deal with everything. He seems to not think about that time now. I know that I am just really getting my life back together after the divorce. I am starting to me more self every day - happy. I don't want to go back on antidepressants. I want him to stop hurting himself. I want to get away from all of this....

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dreamingoftigers
I really don't know. I trust that the doctors know what they are doing. He was a heavy user. I have no knowledge of what he is now. I am very laymen when it comes to drugs. Never used. I am afraid of brain damage and if it can become pernament.....

 

Every "medication" I was put on when I was younger affected me more deeply and helped less than what was promised.

 

 

One anti-depressant caused so much rage in me that I posted on LS for advice regarding it. It filled me with so much rage that one night I threw a lasagna. I am not an angry person normally AT ALL, but I found myself going off on people (!) It did in the end help me develop some empathy for those that have anger issues, realizing that their brains are probably often out of balance.

 

 

I would like to say this though: I would be far more concerned about the Ativan than the weed. Ativan is highly addictive and can get out of hand in a short time. I have seen the effects with my mother. And IMHO, NO doctors are NOT good at regulating addiction.

 

 

Simply look at the painkillers that they got large swaths of low-income folks hooked on. Percs, Oxys, Fentonol. I could go on. Absolutely awful.

 

 

Is you son willing to go for a Brain Scan at an Amen Clinic? They would be better equipped to diagnose AND show the actual damage of whatever drugs he may be taking. Including weed. And yes, weed DOES do damage.

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Hope Shimmers

This is just my opinion of course..

 

Your son's symptoms are from his bipolar disease. Not because of his ativan, and certainly not because he is being experimented on by people in the "mental health system". The mental health system is not "bogus"! People with bipolar disorder cannot cure themselves with "will power". Please don't believe this.

 

Certainly don't believe me or anyone else on here - take him in and get him help immediately.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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This is just my opinion of course..

 

Your son's symptoms are from his bipolar disease. Not because of his ativan, and certainly not because he is being experimented on by people in the "mental health system". The mental health system is not "bogus"! People with bipolar disorder cannot cure themselves with "will power". Please don't believe this.

 

Certainly don't believe me or anyone else on here - take him in and get him help immediately.

 

Thank you. He does have a psychiatrist. I am unsure how often he sees him. He like the weed. he does not view it as a problem. We are becoming more and more estranged due to our differing views. Plus the fact I will not give him money. I refuse to enable him. When he was living here he would smoke up everywhere testing I believe the boundaries. I had to put him out, hoping that he would realize it was not worth it doing drugs. Since then he has been kicked out of three other places. When he went manic I was the only one who would allow him in their home. He stopped the weed and then went to his second year of university and live with his girlfriend. Because of all of this our relationship has worsened terrible. My ex gives him money, etc. so he is the good guy compared to me. At this point I do not know how much more I can take - being swore at, called stupid, know nothing and once spat on. It is too much ....

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Thank you. He does have a psychiatrist. I am unsure how often he sees him. He like the weed. he does not view it as a problem. We are becoming more and more estranged due to our differing views. Plus the fact I will not give him money. I refuse to enable him. When he was living here he would smoke up everywhere testing I believe the boundaries. I had to put him out, hoping that he would realize it was not worth it doing drugs. Since then he has been kicked out of three other places. When he went manic I was the only one who would allow him in their home. He stopped the weed and then went to his second year of university and live with his girlfriend. Because of all of this our relationship has worsened terrible. My ex gives him money, etc. so he is the good guy compared to me. At this point I do not know how much more I can take - being swore at, called stupid, know nothing and once spat on. It is too much ....

Please take care of yourself.

When he gets in a better place, he will know who the "good guy" is.

You might try Alanon meetings.

Blessings

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Thank you. I have finally realized that I have to take care of me. I can't get dragged down the path he is going.it is very hard to give up but after everything I have done to help him it is ultimately up to him. Thank you all for listening.

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dreamingoftigers
This is just my opinion of course..

 

Your son's symptoms are from his bipolar disease. Not because of his ativan, and certainly not because he is being experimented on by people in the "mental health system". The mental health system is not "bogus"! People with bipolar disorder cannot cure themselves with "will power". Please don't believe this.

 

Certainly don't believe me or anyone else on here - take him in and get him help immediately.

 

It's not that it's "bogus."

 

AT ALL. It's that most of the time, the physicians involved do not have appropriate access to the organ they are working on.

 

Psychiatry is the ONLY field of medicine where it is guesswork often based on anecdotal evidence and symptoms described by both the patient and the patient's family and close friends etc.

 

Often this can lead to misdiagnosis. This shouldn't be a surprise if one takes the time to think about it. Would you be able to diagnose many forms of cancer vs. a much rarer disease simply by looking at a patient and hearing them describe symptoms?

 

Often ADD and PTSD are swapped for one another when diagnosing young people.

 

Bipolar is particularly tricky as often young men with BPD are simply labelled as Bipolar.

 

It is only (at this point) through SPECT scan that the damaged parts of the brain, and those parts with lack (or over) flow of blood can be accurately seen.

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dreamingoftigers
Thank you. I have finally realized that I have to take care of me. I can't get dragged down the path he is going.it is very hard to give up but after everything I have done to help him it is ultimately up to him. Thank you all for listening.

 

Now with weed.

 

It is damaging to certain areas of the brain.

 

But weed is not lethal.

 

Is this a moral objection or an objection to his behaviour?

 

Because those are two very different things.

 

He isn't going to adopt your morals "just because you want him to" if that's the case.

 

If it's about his behaviour towards you, I would address that.

 

If it is about encouraging him to look after his mental health, that's an ongoing process.

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Grumpybutfun

As a parent whose daughter uses marijuania for medicinal purposes, I understand your concern. I have never condoned the stuff and yet know due to diligent research when my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in college the calming effect it had on her even with her other medications. And yes, her Psychiatrist and M.D. know all about it. I talked to them at length about it. She is my baby and I'm protective. She is also headstrong and independent and I knew that I would not be able to control her decisions after 18, but since I trust her judgment on her own internal experience, I researched instead of alienating myself from her. Where she goes to school, she has a prescription for it since it is legal for medicinal purposes.

Like you, I was concerned until I read up on its history and the drug corporations need to control the medical market. I'm pretty straight laced, but I'm all for my daughter using this natural drug as an occasional supplement because I see the difference in her moods and her focus. With her prescribed medicines, her ADD is becoming very manageable and her quality of life is improved.

Actually marijuana has been used for medicinal purposes for hundreds of years. Natives used it for medicinal and religious purposes. Your situation seems to have everything to do with bi-polar disorder and little to do with marijuana. In fact, when I spoke to my daughters Psych., she said that many young adults are attracted to pot as a calming drug because they are undiagnosed with some other type of mental or behavioral disorder. Perhaps your son is self medicating, and though he is now on other prescription drugs, they do not calm him like the pot does? Many people do this even when using other types of drugs due to the calming nature of marijuana. It is used for cancer, MS, Parkinsons and depression just to name a few. That is why it is becoming legal in some states for medicinal purposes because it is a much better option than many man made drugs. Doctors prescribe man made because of drug corporations.

There is nothing wrong with being concerned, but I think your biggest challenge is with the BPD.....this is a mental illness that requires a lot of patience and understanding and keepng very close with the professional team he is working with. Ultimately, you can only do so much and he must be responsible for his own disorders management. Parent to parent, I'm really sorry you are having to go through this. My situation with my daughters' ADD differs from yours in many ways, and I'm not saying that my viewpoint is the correct one across the board, but I just wanted to give you another parents experience to think about.

Sending you good energy to get through this,

Grumps

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Since I'm only a year or two older I can say that its best to smoke weed, it has become a habit and its not good to stop like that. Just buy him a vape or some edibles if you worry about his health. Its not bad for you, just a habit :)

 

Those antidepressants pills are not the best stuff, think it makes it worse. I would try to replace those with weed. I've been around weed since I was a kid, and I am normal as can be, not much to worry about. Do you know if he does any other street drugs without asking him?

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I know he has tried other street drugs. Being his mom, I raised him being very healthy conscious of everything that went into his body food wise. Also, all out door activites he wanted to do. I wanted him to be as healthy as could be. It hurts a lot that I see him doing this to himself. I love him and watching him hurt himself this way is hard to take. Last nite, he called and wanted money. He spends money unwisely on crap and drugs. I refused to give him money in fear of it going to the drug dealer. Pondering it now I am thinking gift cards for the grocery store would be better than cash. He lashes out so it hurts me so much it is hard to deal with. Everything is my fault. He does not see that by mismanaging his money is part of the reason he has no money. He just sees me as the bad guy for not handing money over when asked. He then says horrible things that hurt me for a long time. At this point I am close to cutting off all communication with him. It is too painful to take dealing with him. Thoughts?

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I know he has tried other street drugs. Being his mom, I raised him being very healthy conscious of everything that went into his body food wise. Also, all out door activites he wanted to do. I wanted him to be as healthy as could be. It hurts a lot that I see him doing this to himself. I love him and watching him hurt himself this way is hard to take. Last nite, he called and wanted money. He spends money unwisely on crap and drugs. I refused to give him money in fear of it going to the drug dealer. Pondering it now I am thinking gift cards for the grocery store would be better than cash. He lashes out so it hurts me so much it is hard to deal with. Everything is my fault. He does not see that by mismanaging his money is part of the reason he has no money. He just sees me as the bad guy for not handing money over when asked. He then says horrible things that hurt me for a long time. At this point I am close to cutting off all communication with him. It is too painful to take dealing with him. Thoughts?

 

 

Does he have a plan in life or any goals (marriage, business, staying fit, net worth) or a mentor? Lots of kids at that age are stupid with their money. Are you giving him money because he can't find a job? But he sees you as being the bad guy for not forking over money he didnt earn.. :confused:

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Yes, he does see me as the bad guy. I refuse to give money because he would buy drugs with it. He is a little lost as to what he wants to do. His self confidence is low. He was an excellent student all his school life. He feels the opposite. I always was proud of him and told him so. He is smart and very outgoing. He used to teach swimming to kids and lifeguard. Parents always compliments him. Kids loved him. His goal now is to be a mechanic. Anything is better than nothing. He does have a wonderful girlfriend. She is at university doing her 3rd year. At this point I believe we will never be able to have any relationship cause it is so painful now..

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Thank you all for commenting so far.Grumpbutfun, I am sorry about your daughter. I am unable to work with his dr because he lives 4 hours away from me. My son would not let me anyway. The quality of the mj concerns me. What is mixed in it. One never knows. If e had a perscription that would be different. I believe I could handle it better. I know thatthe dr is having a hard time finding the correct dosage of lithium. And now with the Ativan I don't know what will happen. I am so scared he will go manic again. When it happened last year we were not sure if he would ever recover. He was delusional and tried to rip the thermostat off of the wall. It was awful. He remembers none of that part. I do and it haunts me to this day. I wish now he and I could sit down and talk. I wish he could talk to me about how he feels and what the drug does for him. Right now I am the bad guy. My ex is doing what je can to encourage this. I am at a loss. All I know is at this point I am close to breaking myself and I cannot. I have to step back...

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I wouldn't worry about the weed at all, its just a plant, just like wine is a grape. I would worry about those antidepressants messing with your natural mind, and if the doc has any idea what he/she is doing...testing dosages. He just has high Testosterone at his age. Mood swings and rage is common with high T levels.

 

I think Canada has medical marijuana... Just ask the doc since it treats depression and tons more, hell it might even cure it unlike those pills hes taking to just cover it up.

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Your son had a manic episode and was hospitalised. He was then diagnosed with Bipolar. You state that he is now suicidal and depressed, so he is seemingly experiencing another dangerous episode. He needs to see his psychiatrist immediately!

 

Please do as much research on Bipolar as you can. It is a very serious illness, and your son is at very real risk. The weed really is the least of your worries right now. Truly. Please educate yourself re: this illness...your son really needs you. I also strongly suggest that you see a professional yourself as a means of support and guidance, as this is going to take its toll. Take care of yourself, arm yourself with knowledge, and do whatever you can to help your seriously ill son get stable before something seriously bad happens.

 

I feel for you. This is going to be a lifelong battle for your son and he needs all the help and love he can get. Stop driving a wedge between you two over him smoking marijuana...there are much bigger fish to fry here, and your son's life depends on it.

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Hope Shimmers
It's that most of the time, the physicians involved do not have appropriate access to the organ they are working on.

 

Psychiatry is the ONLY field of medicine where it is guesswork often based on anecdotal evidence and symptoms described by both the patient and the patient's family and close friends etc.

 

No, it's not guesswork, and it's not the only disease where symptoms are primarily used for a diagnosis. The major neurological diseases fit into that category as well. There are no standard diagnostic test for Parkinson's disease, AD, or MS, as well as others in this category. Diagnosis is primarily based on neurological symptoms.

 

I don't know if you have ever seen a patient in a full-blown manic phase, but there is really no question about it once you see it.

 

Bipolar disease mainly gets misdiagnosed as major depressive disorder because usually (frequently) the depression phase occurs first. So it takes awhile...

 

Your son had a manic episode and was hospitalised. He was then diagnosed with Bipolar. You state that he is now suicidal and depressed, so he is seemingly experiencing another dangerous episode. He needs to see his psychiatrist immediately!

 

Please do as much research on Bipolar as you can. It is a very serious illness, and your son is at very real risk. The weed really is the least of your worries right now. Truly. Please educate yourself re: this illness...your son really needs you. I also strongly suggest that you see a professional yourself as a means of support and guidance, as this is going to take its toll. Take care of yourself, arm yourself with knowledge, and do whatever you can to help your seriously ill son get stable before something seriously bad happens.

 

I feel for you. This is going to be a lifelong battle for your son and he needs all the help and love he can get. Stop driving a wedge between you two over him smoking marijuana...there are much bigger fish to fry here, and your son's life depends on it.

 

This is very true. OP, it is very difficult in the case where your child is legally an adult, because you can't get access to his medical records or participate in his care.

 

In my opinion, if there is any way you can advocate with him to get you to help in his care - (or if necessary - and if he is suicidal please do this!) - get him committed for a 72 hour psych hold - that is about all you can do to make sure he is getting the care he needs right now. Arm yourself with as much knowledge about his condition in general and his particular situation as you can.

 

I don't know how that feels as a parent but I would imagine it is one of the most frustrating feelings in the world. :( Take care -

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