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My ex told be he's addicted to cocaine

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Old 6th June 2013, 4:09 PM   #1
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My ex told be he's addicted to cocaine

After dating for two years, my ex and I broke up nearly 6 months ago. We've been trying, however, to get back together because we both still care about each other very deeply. Over the past few months we've been getting in numerous arguments because he constantly blows me off to hang out with his friends. He truly is a great guy though and treats me so well when we are together. Yesterday, he told me that he couldn't deal with the arguing anymore and that this just wasn't working for him. I was incredibly heartbroken because I'm still so in love with him regardless of his constant slip ups. We talked or a while and he insisted it wasn't my fault, he just needs some time to find himself. I was confused by this and when I asked him why he told me he is addicted to cocaine and thats the reason he's been blowing me off. I had absolutely no idea. I know that he's done it in the past and but i thought he had stopped. I told him over and over to get help and he just said he wanted to give it some time to try to stop on his own. We haven't talked today and I feel as though I don't have a place to nag him about reaching out because he ended things with me. I love him deeply though and I can't stand to see him ruin his life. I realize its not healthy to be in a relationship with him but I can't walk away all together in fear that it will only get worse. I just really need some advice on what to do, I've been so upset since I found out Should I tell his parents or take it upon myself to find him help? Please help mee!
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Old 6th June 2013, 9:10 PM   #2
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Addiction is a long tough road and it never gets easier. Every day the person with the addiction fights hard to stay one step ahead of the temptation to lapse back. In your ex's case, he has to want to stop for himself. Not for you, or his parents, or to get a job, or anything else, but for himself. He has to come to you and say this. Otherwise, you can research all you want or talk til you're blue in the face and it still won't matter. The first step to solving any problem is to acknowledge that you want to change.

More importantly though, ask yourself whether you love this person enough to be there even when things get REALLY REALLY bad or if he can't stop. I know it's tough but the last thing you want to do is go through a lot of heartache and headache to find out that you really didn't want him that much to begin with. If you do decide to stick it out and help though, I think you should get emotional support by going to see a therapist. It's going to help a lot to have someone to talk to during the rough patches.

Good luck with everything!
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Old 7th June 2013, 11:05 PM   #3
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Thank you

Thank you so much for your wonderful advice. As stupid as it sounds I think I'm going to start a journal to get all my feeling out. I feel like once I stop being selfish and can get over the fact that he basically dumped me, I can be more of a friend to him and help him. I'm going to try and move on with my life so I don't get brought down by this but still be a support system for him and someone he can always talk to. Thank you again!
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Old 8th June 2013, 1:02 AM   #4
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i urge you to read in the realm of hungry ghosts by gabor mate. he really goes in depth of where these addictions stem from and why.and how many of us are addicted to something in one way or another. its really eye opening and will help you understand what your s/o is going through so much better
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