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Ending my porn addiction


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in the past year I decided porn wasn't something that I'd like to be part of my life anymore. I believe it doesn't add anything beneficial to my life, and at the very least its a time-waister. I've got up to about 50 days without porn/masterbation at one point, and a few 20-30 day stretches without it as well. but I always seem to give in to porn/masterbation eventually and reset the counter.

 

I've mentioned this effort of refraining for p&m to a couple of my friends and they think i'm crazy. I throw the challenge back at them and ask them to see how long they can go without jerking off - but no one is really taking it seriously.

 

so without the support of friends, is it possible to overcome this alone? im also single, so abstaining from p&m means no release until I meet someone.

 

let me know your thoughts if you've had experience with this.

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I applaud you in your effort to stay away from porn, but why masturbation?....I wonder if you set yourself up for failure by having all this wound up sexual energy that the temptation of porn becomes that much more powerful because of so much sexual urge that has built up.

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in the past year I decided porn wasn't something that I'd like to be part of my life anymore. I believe it doesn't add anything beneficial to my life, and at the very least its a time-waister. I've got up to about 50 days without porn/masterbation at one point, and a few 20-30 day stretches without it as well. but I always seem to give in to porn/masterbation eventually and reset the counter.

 

I've mentioned this effort of refraining for p&m to a couple of my friends and they think i'm crazy. I throw the challenge back at them and ask them to see how long they can go without jerking off - but no one is really taking it seriously.

 

so without the support of friends, is it possible to overcome this alone? im also single, so abstaining from p&m means no release until I meet someone.

 

let me know your thoughts if you've had experience with this.

 

There really isn't anything wrong with masturbating once in a while..

 

And if you don't want to get addicted to porn, just don't watch porn. Jeez, things are pretty simple.

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so without the support of friends, is it possible to overcome this alone? im also single, so abstaining from p&m means no release until I meet someone.

 

let me know your thoughts if you've had experience with this.

 

Get rid of your internet connection at home at least for a while (that would free you in so many ways you are not realising now) though that doesn't mean you need to abstain from masturbation completely I don't think. It would just remove the source of your addiction.

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BetheButterfly
in the past year I decided porn wasn't something that I'd like to be part of my life anymore. I believe it doesn't add anything beneficial to my life, and at the very least its a time-waister. I've got up to about 50 days without porn/masterbation at one point, and a few 20-30 day stretches without it as well. but I always seem to give in to porn/masterbation eventually and reset the counter.

 

I've mentioned this effort of refraining for p&m to a couple of my friends and they think i'm crazy. I throw the challenge back at them and ask them to see how long they can go without jerking off - but no one is really taking it seriously.

 

so without the support of friends, is it possible to overcome this alone? im also single, so abstaining from p&m means no release until I meet someone.

 

let me know your thoughts if you've had experience with this.

 

There are support groups that help people overcoming this addiction. It might not hurt to go to an AA group and ask if there's a group for sexual addictions.

 

Congratulations on making this awesome decision!!!

 

Also, make goals that demand the use of your time and then concentrate on doing them. For example, if one of your goals is to travel, then focus on earning the money to do so and planning where you want to go and what to see.

 

If a goal is to build more muscle mass, then spend more time at the gym and learn different exercises.

 

If your goal is to help those in need, there are many people in need and there's not so much time or people helping...

 

If a goal is to write a book, then start writing! :)

 

There's lots of ways to spend one's time other than trying NOT to do something. Focus more on what you want to do with your time!!! :)

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It's good that you're trying to get control of this. Porn IS addictive, and it can cause ED if used to excess. It also desensitizes you to sex. I think it's helpful to substitute a healthy addiction for an unhealthy one. Find an activity you could do that gives you enjoyment that you could do whenever you feel the urge to look at porn. Such as exercising/going to the gym. Or post on LS instead when you feel the urge to look at porn. Or look up something interesting on the internet that doesn't involve porn. Whenever you feel the urge to look at porn, switch it to the new, more healthy addiction. This is what people in AA do when they feel like taking a drink--they immediately call their AA buddy. They substitute the addiction urge for something positive until the urge passes. And if you feel you can't get control of this yourself, there are addiction support groups specifically for people fighting sexual addictions, including porn addictions. You may want to try those.

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It's good that you're trying to get control of this. Porn IS addictive, and it can cause ED if used to excess. It also desensitizes you to sex. I think it's helpful to substitute a healthy addiction for an unhealthy one. Find an activity you could do that gives you enjoyment that you could do whenever you feel the urge to look at porn. Such as exercising/going to the gym. Or post on LS instead when you feel the urge to look at porn. Or look up something interesting on the internet that doesn't involve porn. Whenever you feel the urge to look at porn, switch it to the new, more healthy addiction. This is what people in AA do when they feel like taking a drink--they immediately call their AA buddy. They substitute the addiction urge for something positive until the urge passes. And if you feel you can't get control of this yourself, there are addiction support groups specifically for people fighting sexual addictions, including porn addictions. You may want to try those.

 

 

 

I agree with pretty much everything you write, especially about porn causing ED and being addictive.

 

But the OP says he goes long periods without porn. If you go 50 days without, you are not an addict. He's obsessed with the subject, but not addicted.

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skydiveaddict

But the OP says he goes long periods without porn. If you go 50 days without, you are not an addict. He's obsessed with the subject, but not addicted.

 

I don't know how a mental health/addiction expert might define his situation.

 

But why bother with it at all? He should go out, meet some people, find some new friends, go to a few parties, start enjoying life. He might even meet a girl and start a real relationship.

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I agree with pretty much everything you write, especially about porn causing ED and being addictive.

 

But the OP says he goes long periods without porn. If you go 50 days without, you are not an addict. He's obsessed with the subject, but not addicted.

Perhaps, but he labeled it as an addiction in his OP. He doesn't specify how much he used to do it or how much it was taking control of him, but the 50 days without was after he tried to abstain and get control over his use. If he referred to it as an addiction in his OP, I'm assuming he was doing it excessively to the point that he felt it was out of control. Perhaps he's a recovering addict, and that's the term to use.

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Forever Learning

I agree with those who say give up the porn but not the masterbation. Unless the masterbation is so frequent that it's a problem as well.

 

I know on Dr. Drew's tv show about Sex Addicts and Sex Addiction, they were told not to look at porn or masterbate while they were in the rehab. I don't know how legit that show was, it was a mixed group of men and women together, which made for drama on the show, and typically spells disaster with sex addicts. Most sex addict groups are all one gender, NOT mixed gender.

 

Anyhow, big, big, SUPER HUGE congratulations on quitting the porn!! Porn is bad news for those of us with addictive personalities. Best to stay away from it entirely. Google "Sex Addiction or Porn Addiction" and keep educating yourself, and find a support group. I know for a fact there are sex addict groups out there, 12 step ones, and they are single gender groups, not mixed. All the very best to you. :)

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charlietheginger

I masturbate 2 times a day

Usually morning and bed time....

 

If no morning atleast bedtime....

 

Ive been single by choice for 1 yr 1 month

After a divorce...

 

Id rather masturbate then get into

The emotional drama of relationships...

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skydiveaddict
I masturbate 2 times a day

Usually morning and bed time....

 

If no morning atleast bedtime....

 

Ive been single by choice for 1 yr 1 month

After a divorce...

 

Id rather masturbate then get into

The emotional drama of relationships...

 

 

And look where you are. In your bedroom or in front of your computer masturbating. Is that really how you want to spend your life?

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charlietheginger
And look where you are. In your bedroom or in front of your computer masturbating. Is that really how you want to spend your life?

 

I still go out i socialize group

Activities..

Still have women i talk with platonic

 

A few understand i gave my heart

Away in my marriage to a women

Who smashed it and tossed it in the air...

 

Ive spent a year slowly picking up piece by

Piece putting the heart back together...

 

Ill never let a women do that to me ever

Again....

 

No i dont lay in bed or by the computer jacking

All day...

 

i wake up in bed jack my morning wood

Takes 2 minutes

in bed before sleep jack it takes 2 minutes

Im relaxed and fall asleep

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Forever Learning
I still go out i socialize group

Activities..

Still have women i talk with platonic

 

A few understand i gave my heart

Away in my marriage to a women

Who smashed it and tossed it in the air...

 

Ive spent a year slowly picking up piece by

Piece putting the heart back together...

 

Ill never let a women do that to me ever

Again....

 

No i dont lay in bed or by the computer jacking

All day...

 

i wake up in bed jack my morning wood

Takes 2 minutes

in bed before sleep jack it takes 2 minutes

Im relaxed and fall asleep

 

That seems reasonable enough.

 

Also, it takes time to heal from divorce. I think you probably need some time to regroup. Cheers.

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He's obsessed with the subject, but not addicted.

 

Bingo! As are a fair number of members here. I've never even heard of people with so much of a problem with masturbation. Christ I was raised Catholic and we were taught in a church sex education class that masturbation is perfectly natural. Not to mention all of the information showing that masturbation is healthy. They did emphasize that the thoughts assocated with M are the issue.

 

Dude [OP], the reason you have to constantly reset the porn counter is that you're horny. Anyone who is lonely can get carried away. Don't listen to the people here who think there is something wrong with being single and having a healthy sex drive. Talk to a real doctor and see what he or she has to say about it. Don't base your mental health on input from people who have a religious agenda and care more about that than you.

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man_in_the_box
If a goal is to build more muscle mass, then spend more time at the gym and learn different exercises.

 

Hehe, this just increases testosterone concentrations and increase the sex-drive. Guess where that is going to go if the OP doesn't have an appropriate sexual outlet?

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OP here-

first, i think an admin changed the title on this thread, can the admin that did that confirm? I was pretty careful about calling porn an addiction (as you can see I didn't mention it in the post at all - again, i believe it was added in the title by an admin). I don't want to call it an addiction because people will argue whether it is or not. but at the very least, it is a waist of time and bad for your brain (desensitization).

 

I am refraining and continue to avoid porn. although i still give in once in a while, doing it once a month on average is certainly better for my mental health than multiple times a day. I'm currently going on 9 days without it again. The reason why I'm trying to avoid self release as well is because that pretty much always leads me to porn. It's hard to make good decisions when you're going at it and it's available right there on the internet.

 

A couple other things that i'm proud of - I've been going to the gym regularly since April. I've also been eating a very good diet - during the week (i eat EVERYTHING on weekends). But during the weekdays I avoid processed foods (anything that doesn't exist naturally in nature - cheese is the hardest one to avoid). I eat tons of veggies, fruits, and nuts. I've been lifting and biking too. All this has been very consistent since april and I'm happy say I'm in the best shape of my life.

 

this self improvement effort started when i got laid off from my job in March. I have to say it was awful at first but turned out to be the best thing for me.

 

anyway, porn has turned into this guilt thing for me now. it didnt used to be, but now that i've made an effort to avoid it, every time i give it i get guilty, like i failed. I can confirm though, for anyone wondering, that after going 30 days without seeing porn or masturbating, when you do again it takes very little to get off. seeing a photo of a naked women will drive you wild again.

Edited by nyc12
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BetheButterfly
Hehe, this just increases testosterone concentrations and increase the sex-drive. Guess where that is going to go if the OP doesn't have an appropriate sexual outlet?

 

Many men who can control their bodies also figure out that they can control their brains as well. :love: Also, some of them put their sexual energy into other outlets such as their careers and in meeting the lady they want to spend the rest of their lives with. That is the experience of my husband.

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I'd go insane if I cut out porn and masturbating. Since I'm single, and have been for a very long time, I have no other release.

 

And no, watching porn a couple of times a week is not an addiction.

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Many men who can control their bodies also figure out that they can control their brains as well. :love: Also, some of them put their sexual energy into other outlets such as their careers and in meeting the lady they want to spend the rest of their lives with. That is the experience of my husband.

 

I'd have no idea of how to put sexual energy into a career. And even if I could I just can't see it being that effective.

 

It's well known that never having a release leads to depression (I've felt this myself), plus it's also bad for your prostate and increases the risk of prostate cancer.

 

Your body isn't designed for never having a release, it's not normal or healthy.

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And look where you are. In your bedroom or in front of your computer masturbating. Is that really how you want to spend your life?

 

I don't understand what the problem is.

 

Do you think he spends most of his time in his bedroom in front of a computer wanking over porn or something?

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BetheButterfly
I'd have no idea of how to put sexual energy into a career. And even if I could I just can't see it being that effective.

 

It's well known that never having a release leads to depression (I've felt this myself), plus it's also bad for your prostate and increases the risk of prostate cancer.

 

Your body isn't designed for never having a release, it's not normal or healthy.

 

My husband gets sexual release when I do... we both enjoy sexual release together.

 

Anything good takes time; it takes patience; it takes self-control. That's one thing I'm learning about dieting and working out. The results are beautiful. However, if I just gave in to every desire I had, I would weigh an awful lot more.

 

Masturbation and porn is a substitute for the real thing. If you want to enjoy a substitute instead of real, living, breathing sex with a woman you love who loves you, that's your decision. Enjoy watching others do it (using a lot of acting) while you jerk yourself off. Just remember: it doesn't teach you how to truly love or be loved.

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BetheButterfly

 

anyway, porn has turned into this guilt thing for me now. it didnt used to be, but now that i've made an effort to avoid it, every time i give it i get guilty, like i failed. I can confirm though, for anyone wondering, that after going 30 days without seeing porn or masturbating, when you do again it takes very little to get off. seeing a photo of a naked women will drive you wild again.

 

Don't beat yourself up over the guilt. Forgive yourself and focus your mind on what is important to you. Why are you not wanting to see porn? Focus on the why and put your energies into obtaining your goals. :)

 

For example, I love food. I ate way too much for Thanksgiving. :(

 

However, what I am doing today is sticking to my diet, and when my hubby comes home from work, we are going to the gym yay!!! :) Thus, I'm transferring my desires for yummy food and my guilt over eating too much into getting ready to burn those calories and to work my muscles!!! Look at the bright side and focus on what you want to achieve to replace what you don't want to do!!!

Edited by BetheButterfly
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