Caconfused Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I have fallen in love with such a great man almost 2 years ago. Slowly all the beautiful memories have been replaced with rants of pure anger and raw verbal abuse by my ex-boyfriend. ( I broke it off 4 days ago) and have a huge remorse and want him back. I had seen his drinking on several occasions we were together. When I would spend the night at his place, he would serve himself a drink that would just keep going all night. I would go to bed at midnite and he would join me a few hours later. He would stumble in to the room. I choose to not call him on it, being that our times together were not often. In the mornings he would then would not want to roll out of bed till 12pm or later.I dreaded that, I am an early bird. I now get the picture that he has no life and this is the norm. Well this is were it gets interesting: he took a trip out of the country, with hopes to come back with great news... he hinted a proposal. Least to say it was a complete surprise to me that instead he went on a weeks drinking binge, and ever since then, now a month later, those drinking spills have been a daily thing. I would try to get him to talk to me but he has shut down, he wont talk to me. He wont call me during the day, but like clock work I start getting calls at 9pm when he is already wasted and they continue in to the early morning. Not only has he called me, he calls my house number and in occasion my friends. He has become abusive, and mean. It is hard to talk at that point and during the day, he is unavailable or he just want me to forgive him because he "truly loves me" or wants me not to remind him of the night before. My question is.. how do I move on? I have fallen so deeply in love with someone who has chosen to drink rather than to lead a "normal" life. I am confused if I should be there for him on thru this or is it better to give tough love? Please ANYONE... any advise? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 As a former heavy drinker and a friend to many boozers, I say let go. He's in love with booze at the moment - if you love someone, set them free. He has a journey to take and you'll only get hurt if you try to join him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Caconfused Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Thank-you for your words of wisdom. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 No worries. You'll be fine. Let it go and you'll find someone more available for you in no time. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 My question is.. how do I move on? I have fallen so deeply in love with someone who has chosen to drink rather than to lead a "normal" life. I am confused if I should be there for him on thru this or is it better to give tough love? Please ANYONE... any advise? This was my last relationship. The first 14 months were magical and the subsequent 18 months were hell. I couldn't believe that this man whom I loved more than anyone would prefer his bottle over a sincere, adult relationship with someone who would do anything for him. The hard part is there is no rationalization you can ever internalize that will enable you to clarify your confusion. Because you are a rational person and someone who is so overwhelmed with the alcohol can't be reasoned with... I feel for you and the best thing you can do is separate yourself from him as far as physically and emotionally possible. It is easy to be the co-dependent one on the relationship and try to fix the problems and make life easier for him; but it will never work out that way. I know - I tried for months to make all the reasons by BF drank go away but that did not stop the drinking. It took me a full two years to get over the pain of that relationship because the love was so deep - and still is - but to know it would never work... Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I couldn't believe that this man whom I loved more than anyone would prefer his bottle over a sincere, adult relationship with someone who would do anything for him. The hard part is there is no rationalization you can ever internalize that will enable you to clarify your confusion. Because you are a rational person and someone who is so overwhelmed with the alcohol can't be reasoned with.. This. BTDT too, and it's so not worth it. Good luck moving forward, it will hurt for a while and then you'll be so glad it's all in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 when OP said "with someone who would do anything for him. It dawned on me, what is she willing to do to prove she loves herself, respects herself...and can sustain moving forward. The heart is blind as it should be, but allow the mind to see you thru this...you sincerely must understand, that disease is BIGGER then you and bigger them him....it takes more then love to come to terms with it... THank you though for your story....you keep it fresh for those of us who were that man of yours.... Link to post Share on other sites
RaEfferafek Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 I use Itunes for all of my music....but it costs a lot of money. I probably go through $50 of Itunes money a month and it's getting ridiculous. A couple of my friends have told me about limewire....but if I get it I'm not sure if I'll get a virus on my computer. I just got my computer fixed from a virus and I REALLY don't want another one....What should I do? Stick with Itunes, or switch to Limewire? Unlock iPhone 3GSHow To Unlock iPhoneUnlock iphoneCan You Unlock iPhoneiPhone UnlockUnlock iPhone 3G Link to post Share on other sites
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