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Caught my boyfriend with cocaine! !


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RiseAgainst7

A one time incident? Here's the story: In the middle of the night, right before bed, he left to pick up cigarettes... and he came back with none. He proceeded with the lies.. I refused to believe him (btw I have never caught him in a lie before) and he finally told showed me a big block of cocaine ($140 worth) which he said was only one 8 ball (I think its two). I threw it and he spent the next hour looking for it instead of keeping me from leaving him. His friend came by and helped him look for it... all while I was getting my stuff and leaving him (he never talked to me.. he let me leave). I came back 5 hours later in the morning to drop off his key and he was up with his friend. They found it and did the whole thing that night. His original plan was to do this, when I was asleep, with his friend (I later found out). He spent the next three days apologizing. He states he was impulsive and he 'caved' because the friend who called him to do this, has a history of doing coke with in his undergraduate years. Supposedly when he went to get cigs his friend called him up to do cocaine, he said yes, and even went to go pick it up. He claims he could not eat or sleep because he was afraid of losing me. After interrogating him... I took him back on the condition that he would never do this again and that he would never talk to his friend again. He claims this was a one time isolated incident and it has never happened (since I've known him), that he is not an addict, ect ect ect. Now, I am having a hard time trusting him and I feel he doesn't have true respect for me. I look back at the times where his behavior would change after he would go to the bathroom with his buddies while at the bar. Such as chain smoking, act weird out of the blue (attributed to drunkenness), and nose starts running. Also, several other past isolated occurrences

are starting to stand out to me. I feel more confused than ever! Any input would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

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First off I am a recovering addict from oppiates. I've heard SO many life stories of addicts. I can almost tell you that he has a problem. If it was a one time thing what in the world would make you want to buy an 8 ball of coke and do it all in one night. their definetly seems something is up. If he has a stuffy/runny nose that definetly means he is using coke, but I may be wrong. I do have a few questions.. Does he lie a lot?? does he seem manipulating?? Does he sometimes look wired and heart racing?? Has he ever stolen anything??? Does he not have much of an appetite??

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Quiet Storm

The fact that he was obsessed with looking for it after you threw it tells you all you need to know. That is typical junkie behavior. If you had tried to flush it, he probably would have tried to wrestle it away from you.

 

The amount of it would be too much for a first timer.

 

He wasn't up all night worrying about you. He was up all night because coke keeps you awake.

 

If he had been concerned about you, he would have tried to talk to you while you were leaving. His priority at the moment was finding the coke. Your pain, your hurt feelings did not matter because at that moment, all he cared about was the coke.

 

My father had a coke addiction while I was growing up. I could always tell when he was on it because of his jaw movements. He would wiggle his jaw back and forth, ever so slightly, but that's how I knew. He would be jumpy, like he would get a thought in his head and jump up off the couch all excitedly. He would talk faster, more animated.

 

It sounds to me like you are looking back and realizing that he has been doing this for awhile.

 

I would move on, if I were you. You probably only know the tip of the iceberg. Before you know it he will be asking for loans. Selling his stuff. Stealing. My dad used recreationally for years, but when it became an addiction he got bad fast. He went from being a great, attentive dad who only liked to party occasionally, to stealing union dues from his job (he was the union treasurer). He was loving and respectful to my mother, until she started messing with his cocaine supply.

 

Realize that an addict has one priority- their drug. If they have access to their drug, money to buy it, a ready supply...they are usually happy and agreeable. When you start messing with their supply or access (like when you threw it), they will turn on you in an instant.

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RiseAgainst7

'First off I am a recovering addict from oppiates. I've heard SO many life stories of addicts. I can almost tell you that he has a problem. If it was a one time thing what in the world would make you want to buy an 8 ball of coke and do it all in one night. their definetly seems something is up. If he has a stuffy/runny nose that definetly means he is using coke, but I may be wrong. I do have a few questions.. Does he lie a lot?? does he seem manipulating?? Does he sometimes look wired and heart racing?? Has he ever stolen anything??? Does he not have much of an appetite??'

 

Thank you for your advice. In response to your questions I have never caught him in a lie but I've seen him tell white lies to others, he is not to manipulating, to my knowledge he has never stolen anything, and yes he does NOT have much of an appetite.

Edited by RiseAgainst7
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I wasted a good 2 years of my life doing all sorts of drugs, including coke. Some personal advise:

 

He claims he could not eat or sleep because he was afraid of losing me

 

Sorry to tell you, but cocaine eliminates your appetite, and is a stimulant, so you usually cant sleep for a whole day. The part about him not being able to eat or sleep was true - but not for the reason he gave you.

 

He claims this was a one time isolated incident and it has never happened

 

Again, im sorry to say this - but if this was just a 1 time thing, and happened because his buddy just happened to call him on his way to the store? How was he able to get a dealers number so quickly and arrange it to be picked up all within the time it took him to return from the store? Unfortunately, people who use cocaine, RARELY use it just once- it is highly addictive and alot of people I know say that when they start to drink they start to get a craving to do blow.

 

Someone who is high, might act weird or sketchy, or suddenly appear to become uncomfortable and anxious. Usually after you do a few lines, you nose starts to get plugged up - so if he is ending the night sounding congested that might be a red flag. Also, once they are finally able to fall asleep - the next when they go through withdrawl - they can be impatient, irritable, and sometimes become angry. Coming off of cocaine almost always produces mood swings.

 

Im sorry to hear about this, good luck. And not to be negative, but you cant trust a drug user, they will say whatever it takes to not have their bad habit exposed. Until he can beat his addiction - you will hear nothing but empty promises.

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Feelin Frisky

This guy is well into the coke life. I had the problem myself but kicked it 16 years ago. It took me literally moving to get away from the trappings that would send me out on repeated relapses. It takes a good two or three years to start being "over" the pull where you can have a drink and not want to "go out" all the way. Even at that, you can't even have a drink unless you KNOW deep down that there are no venues for a "bump". If there's coke to be done and alcohol in your system, it's a done deal. So, please don't believe that this guy has anything less than what I experienced. I never thought I could become "one of them" but it happened. It could happen again tomorrow if I were drunk and it were there. I wouldn't touch it in a million years if it were right in front of me and I were sober. But after a few drinks, forget it. My 16 years would be undone. So, it's no small thing. And if he's doing 8 balls, he's past the point of being burned by the light.

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I will simply agree with the posters who iterated the affects.

 

I do think that it was foolish for anyone to lay down the law and then turn around and question themselves. You took him back, drugs and all. That was of your choice. Not being harsh, being realistic. Nothing is written in stone in life (thank goodness). So since you are in doubt, its for good reason. Step outside the situation and ask yourself if an endearing friend came to you with this dilema what would you say to them? If anything?.

I personally have zero tolerance for bartering with a person in their addiction. Its not worth it. Get on with your life and take with you a lesson learned....

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A one time incident? Here's the story: In the middle of the night, right before bed, he left to pick up cigarettes... and he came back with none. He proceeded with the lies.. I refused to believe him (btw I have never caught him in a lie before) and he finally told showed me a big block of cocaine ($140 worth) which he said was only one 8 ball (I think its two). I threw it and he spent the next hour looking for it instead of keeping me from leaving him. His friend came by and helped him look for it... all while I was getting my stuff and leaving him (he never talked to me.. he let me leave). I came back 5 hours later in the morning to drop off his key and he was up with his friend. They found it and did the whole thing that night. His original plan was to do this, when I was asleep, with his friend (I later found out). He spent the next three days apologizing. He states he was impulsive and he 'caved' because the friend who called him to do this, has a history of doing coke with in his undergraduate years. Supposedly when he went to get cigs his friend called him up to do cocaine, he said yes, and even went to go pick it up. He claims he could not eat or sleep because he was afraid of losing me. After interrogating him... I took him back on the condition that he would never do this again and that he would never talk to his friend again. He claims this was a one time isolated incident and it has never happened (since I've known him), that he is not an addict, ect ect ect. Now, I am having a hard time trusting him and I feel he doesn't have true respect for me. I look back at the times where his behavior would change after he would go to the bathroom with his buddies while at the bar. Such as chain smoking, act weird out of the blue (attributed to drunkenness), and nose starts running. Also, several other past isolated occurrences

are starting to stand out to me. I feel more confused than ever! Any input would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

 

He does cocaine, he's not going to change anytime soon, now decide if you want to be with him or not. Last thing you should do is try to play the mommy figure roll with him.

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  • 1 month later...

I did it a few times throughout my youth, but i was lucky enough to not get hooked. Cant say the same for some of my friends...

 

I would recommend suggesting therapy, perhaps.

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RecordProducer
showed me a big block of cocaine ($140 worth) which he said was only one 8 ball (I think its two).
How do you know this stuff?

 

They found it and did the whole thing that night. . . the friend who called him to do this, has a history of doing coke with in his undergraduate years.

So, was this an outburst of nostalgia? They have a history of doing coke and they're STILL doing it big time! Do you need more information than this to realize he's a drug abuser?

 

 

Supposedly when he went to get cigs his friend called him up to do cocaine, he said yes, and even went to go pick it up.

Nnnah... they had a deal and he couldn't wait for you to fall asleep so he can get stoned. Remember he only cared about finding the cocaine and not about you leaving?

 

 

I took him back on the condition that he would never do this again and that he would never talk to his friend again.

Well, if you love him, help him open up to you and see if you can help him with his addiction or whatever he may want tocallit at this time.But, he must accept that this is his problem that he must deal and struggle with - until recovers. You can be there forhim or you can run, it's up to you. In any case, if you don't want to deal with an addict, don't feel like you owe him anything. If you however decide to stay, be supportive of his attempts to quit, but stay firm.He is not doing this to YOU, he is doing this to him self.
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TheLawmaker

You have to throw him to the curb. Drug addiction is nothing to fool around with.

 

Especially cocaine, which is a very dangerous drug. If it was weed, it would be something else, but coke is dangerous!

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