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Verbally abused Teen daughter having hard time breaking up


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Hello,

My 16 year old dd recently ended a relationship with her 18 yr old boyfriend. She is having such a hard time breaking up completely with him. Friday night was sort of the last straw. He kept pestering her on the phone when she went snowboarding with friends.

 

He said, "Why didn't you call me a**h****? This was after months of him calling her a B****, retard, loser, She just told him she wanted to "take a break" from him and do other things for awhile. Yet he calls her often and text messages her and she returns them.

 

That's not really taking a break. He has the typical behavior of an abuser... tearful apologies and promises to change. Her dad and I have been trying to convince her that abusers seldom change. I'm afraid she will feel sorry for him and go back to him; she seems to think she can help him change. There has just been so much hurt, I can't believe she'd even consider listening to him anymore.

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whats wrong with me

is he physically abusive? if so call the police for that matter file a report for stalking...afterall she is underage.

 

to help your daughter find a group (for of survivors of abuse). A counselor would be good but she is probley more apt to listen to girls her own age. If you find a group for teens in abusive relationships she would probley get alot from it

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prfrogkisser

Teenagers while in love seem blind to abuse behavior because of pity to the ex or lack of self esteem. I encourage a lot of comunication with your daughter. Be honest and tell her how you feel. As a mother you fear for her well being. Remind her everyone deserves a partner that respects them.No one deserves any less.

 

Also she might need to talk to someone about this who is not be part of the family so there are no sides. A school counselor,Pychologist or someone she feels confortable with.There are also teenagers hotlines and goverment organizations that might help you both.

 

I have always recommended the following books regarding relationships:

1. He is not that into you.

2. It's called a break up because it's broken: the smart girls break up buddy. Both by Greg Behrendt.

 

I hope this will work. Dont give up on your daughter!

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