abusive relationship

[aliy]

Hi everyone,

I am not proud to say that my marriage is falling apart, it’s been that way and I no longer feel happy just looking at him. I am the wife, and I’m also easily tempered. And he loves to ignore whenever we are in the midst of arguing, or even sleep. Which irritates me. So i’ll end up throwing things, or just kicking or grabbing him. I do not enjoy it, but it’a frustrating, to have someone not try to listen to you to fix things. He also hits me, a slap, a kick, a push. But recently he punched me in my face.

 

Which made me realise that, I have to leave. We have teo kids, boys, and he did it in front of them. He wouldn’t leave me alone to give me space. He has always been dependent on me, for everything, even money. And it’s alright if it’s once or twice but it gets really annoying when I try to spend my money and he will go “We don’t have anymore money, do you know that?” It’s not my job to provide for him yet I have to.

 

I just want to call it quite. I don’t love him anymore, if anythingg I feel angry and I hate him. Especially when he tries to touch me or have sex, it feels like I’m being forced. I feel disgusted, and I always regret right after. I’ve tried asking for a divorce, but he just won’t listen. I swear it feels like he’s keeping the marriage only to torture me.

 

I hope I get a break from this, to finally be happy.

[oceanblue12]

Hitting a woman ANY WOMAN is complete insanity, Dear OP, I am sorry you endured such chaos...

[snflwrgrl]

I applaud you for reaching out. I’m really sorry you are going through this. Big supportive hug! Have you considered calling the national domestic violence hotline? It’s completely confidential and they can answer any questions you have about the unhealthy aspects of your relationship. I have spoken with my pastor and I’ve also seen a Christian counselor. Both were very supportive and offered good, sound advice. Do you have anyone like that in your life that you can talk to? They may be able to help you get to the root of your anger. You are not alone. I will be praying for you this week, for God‘s direction and for peace with your decisions.

[Wallysbears]

Sounds as though you are in a toxic relationship and are both abusing each other.

 

Please seek a therapist and separate - for the sake of your children.

 

No one should hit, grab, etc. the other. Not a woman towards a man or a man towards a woman. And from what you've said, you've also hit him.

[bathtub-row]

First of all, you don’t need to ask anyone for a divorce. You file, they’re served, and the rest is history.

 

The two of you are highly incompatible and you need to get out of this toxic relationship. However, understand that your actions aren’t much better than his. He shouldn’t hit and neither should you. You both need to learn respect and self-control. If you get into another relationship, promise yourself that you’ll never throw things or hit someone again.

[anika99]

That is a horrible environment for your children to be in. You and your husband are abusing your kids by making them grow up in a home like this. They are going to be damaged and may need years of therapy to recover. That or they will just go on to get trapped in their own abusive relationships.

 

You don't need your husband's permission to get divorced. Go see an attorney and have him served. Also phone your local women's shelter or domestic abuse hotline. Tell them that your husband punched you in the face in front of your kids. See what resources they can offer you.

[BaileyB]

Without a doubt, you and your husband are abusing your children by raising them in a home where both parents and physically and emotionally abusing each other.

 

It’s good that you recognize that you need to get out. Get yourself a lawyer and and counsellor. Get your kids a counsellor. Your focus now should be on creating a safe and healthy home for your children... good luck.

[stillafool]

OP, what steps are you planning to take to leave? You need to get started on it right away. Usually when a man starts punching you it only escalates from there. He has lost all respect for you and it's time to collect your children and go.

[smackie9]

Call a womena's abuse hotline. Not only with they give you counseling, they will provide you with resources to get you out of your situation in the safest way possible.