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I enjoyed my childhood sexual abuse ***Updated***


Uncomon

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from the age of 8 when we moved back to Arkansas my aunt would stay at our house. It was my mom aunt and me. I loved my aunt she would bring me toys, cowboy boots and hats, it seems like a lot of clothes that made me feel like a older boy or man. Anyway she would put me to bed most times she was there....she would rub my back and then touch my tummy and then in my underware....she eventually would perform oral sex on me...she did this a few times most weeks til I was over 18...I don’t remember not enjoying it....so can it be ok if I enjoyed it? Move to now (I’m 26) I find myself attracted to younger girls and think about role playing with them as younger girls, I’ve done this a few times and the girls I’ve done it with like it (I think) they say they do....but I . Feel funny sometimes and wonder if I’m messed up.....has anyone else specifically had this issue, either one I guess...

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It’s not my definition it’s just what goes in my head. Just younger ...

 

 

Ok perhaps "definition" was the wrong word.

 

 

How old are the girls you are playing with?

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Oh ok well you aren't doing anything morally unacceptable or illegal from what I can tell.

 

 

Not seeing an issue with your method of dealing with childhood trauma, and therapy can be rather ineffective. In my experience the vast majority of psychologists are incompetent, lazy, uncaring or just plain apathetic.

 

 

Sounds like you've got a workable solution and it's not as crazy as other stuff I've read about- I mean there are guys who dress up in diapers and even take a crap in them and want to be changed by their girlfriend, then you have the ***** eaters and people that enjoy being urinated on and other sorts of wild fetishes.

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has anyone else specifically had this issue, either one I guess...

I'm guessing not many people can relate to this, but I think it's courageous of you to bring this up in a public forum. If you're worried about weirding your woman out (which I think is a good concern of yours), I'd just follow her lead and not try to come up with your own ideas. At your age, these are not girls btw, these are women.

 

therapy can be rather ineffective. In my experience the vast majority of psychologists are incompetent, lazy, uncaring or just plain apathetic.

My experience has been remarkably different:

 

  1. My son's therapist (psychologist) has turned his life around. He's really happy now and living a normal childhood. This guy is a rockstar in his field, and shows genuine concern.
  2. My therapist primarily has focused on children who have been involved with domestic violence, but agreed to see me. She's helped provide guidance to me for many years now, and has helped me through some really hard times.
  3. The therapist (psychologist) who was in charge of a custody assessment took great care to provide an accurate report and provide a comprehensive recommendation to keep my son safe. I was blown away by how thorough, accurate, and protective the report was.
  4. The therapist (psychologist) who was in charge of the custody psychological evaluation seemed genuinely concerned and caring, just in general. It was not within the scope of her job to provide any personal comments, but a casual encouraging remark spurred me to search for love again. :)

Anyways, Uncomon probably isn't looking for therapy, but I don't think I've found one yet who doesn't care about helping people. (I mean, that's their job...)

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In my experience the vast majority of psychologists are incompetent, lazy, uncaring or just plain apathetic.

 

Between my daughter's anorexia, depression and anxiety and my own marriage counseling (times two), I've seen both ends of the spectrum on therapy. There are bad ones, but there are also excellent therapists. I am working with one right now. I would never discourage someone from seeking help because of my own bad experiences. Who knows? Maybe a therapist who was ineffective in my case might be exactly what someone else needs.

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I am sorry about what your awful sick aunt did to you.

yes, you might have enjoyed it. However, what she did was wrong.

 

First: She was your aunt. So, incest!

Second: you were a little boy = pedophilia

 

 

You might have enjoyed it, but she did you wrong, and I am sure she is gonna molest another kid.

 

Do not let her, even if you enjoyed it, expose her!

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Dear uncommon ,

 

 

 

- you were abused in your childhood, yet it seems it is not affecting you heavily ;there is nothing wrong that you enjoyed it ; what your aunt did was still an abuse .

 

 

The main concern I see is that you shouldn't consider what she has done is fine , She should have been punished legally and morally .

 

 

You should consider what she has done as wrong ( irrespective if you enjoyed it).

so she should be the one feeling guilty not you .

if you consider what she did as acceptable , then you need therapy because yourself.

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Are you forcing or coercing her into the role in some way? If not, then nothing wrong with it.

 

That doesn't answer the question if it's a healthy behavior for you were you to desire marriage and a long term commitment. Tough to be locked in to any narrow channel of behavior...

 

Mr. Lucky

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somanymistakes

If you're both consenting adults and neither of you is being seriously harmed, have fun.

 

If you get to the point where you think it's causing either of you problems outside the bedroom, then something needs changing. Some people take their fetishes too far. (I'd rather not give examples because some of them are weird but let's just say some people's sex lives can get them in trouble at work or outside of the home because they want to carry their kink over 24/7 around people who do not understand what's going on and did not agree to be part of it.)

 

But as long as you understand that this is role-play and keep sensible boundaries around it, it's not a bad thing. A little bit of ageplay is a pretty common kink. Lots of women want to pretend to be cute little girls and please an older man, or vice versa.

 

Separate issue is whether you've told anyone what your aunt did to you. That's going to be difficult, but it's important to deal with, because people who behave like that almost never stop at just one kid, and if no one's warned she will probably prey on other relatives.

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todreaminblue

hey

its not as uncommon as you think.....but that pleasure causes a lot of shame and guilt....i have a male friend who opened up to me about his childhood abuse...he was in a home run by priests and was abused.....from four years of age....he craved attention and affection what he really needed were parents who loved him in the right way..what he got was predators.....who knew his vulnerability and used that vulnerability to further their own sick perverse pleasure and confuse him with feelings of guilt and shame for wanting to feel loved...then wrapped that guilt and shame up with secrecy and deceit...he is the hardest most complex man i have ever known to get through too....most people give up on him ....he has an angry heart with a lot of issues

 

what your aunt did was perverse...and what she ultimately did was confuse you and give you an association of shame with sexual pleasure....... predators take advantage of the vulnerable.....all children are vulnerable ...some more than others....and you were vulnerable to your aunt.....and she knew it....

 

as far as sex goes as an adult man...as long as the person you are with is consenting and old enough to have sex and its mutually pleasurable then your sex life is your private personal choice....

 

i would however suggest to you in the interest of personal growth and acceptance of what went on when you were a child and the right perspective on that sexual abuse...you seek counselling.i have had many counsellors over years and years...i respond better to spiritual and religious counselling its how i make sense of things i dont really understand....i needs god's guidance involved....

 

....if you dont like the counsel and counsellor keep hunting till you feel the counsel and counsellor you are with is the right fit for you...you need to explore the underlying issues that have you seeking answers here.....so you can truly move on.....and be you.....who you are.....and what you really want out of a union with another

 

your kinks you have may not come down to sex at all.....but more....acceptance and perspective why you have those kinks in the first place..you may be surprised on what you really want ........good luck....i hope you find the answers you seek....deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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I was 8 my aunt molested me until 18+....she touched me and had oral sex with me....I enjoyed it....but.....feel guilty and I like to role play with my girl friend as a younger girl....is this normal?

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Any adult who sexually touches a person who is under the age of consent is a child molester. So yes, you were abused.

 

The fact that you enjoyed the sexual stimulation is confusing. What the law says & what your body felt don't have to coincide to make it wrong. As a kid you didn't have a choice & that is where she took advantage. I suspect you will need professional help to reconcile everything that happened.

 

As for what you feel now, that is what you feel. Role playing is fine. However if you find yourself seeking actual children get help.

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I was 8 my aunt molested me until 18+....she touched me and had oral sex with me....I enjoyed it....but.....feel guilty and I like to role play with my girl friend as a younger girl....is this normal?

 

I am sorry this happened to you. It was wrong. When you say "younger girl", how young do you fantasize about? Being a survivor of childhood abuse, it sends all sorts of red flags to me. You should talk to a professional about this. Deal with what happened to you as a child so that it does not develop into something over time. What happened to you was not your fault. Please seek professional help to ensure the cycle is not repeated.

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I went back and read your original post. Even though you say you enjoyed the sexual abuse (and maybe you did, by the time you were in your late teens, but I doubt it felt okay when you were eight years old), you were still molested.

 

1. Maybe your aunt is still molesting children (molesters don't just stop molesting on their own.) She needs to be stopped. What if you have a child one day? Would you leave that child alone with your aunt?

 

2. Even though you and your girlfriend are just role playing and she seems to be okay with it, the fact that you have asked the question twice leads me to believe there must be some nagging feeling on your part. Maybe you feel guilt or shame. Those emotions are normal for victims of molestation.

 

I still encourage you to seek counseling. If you talk to a professional and they turn you away saying that you are perfectly healthy in your approach to sex, and the role playing is healthy and normal, all the better. However, if you are honest about the seemingly nagging feelings you might be having, you will feel better seeking help - even if only to be 100% sure.

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