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Why did my friend lied about getting abused by bf?


innocentbabe45

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innocentbabe45

Wanted to briefly shared this. We had a friend for a couple years and ever since last year, we all stopped talking to her. She's a liar.

 

During that time:

For many months, she's been telling me and someone else about her unstable boyfriend and how he gets scary during arguments. One day she went on telling how he backed her against a wall, hit her and basically threatened her. As usually we would advice to report it already and asked what she's waiting for.

 

I decided to just stop by one day. What I heard was actually her yelling stuff like ''come back, you disgusting piece of ****'', ''I can tell everyone it was you... blah, blah, I'll just scream and cry'' and ''you know I can do it'' and her laughing. The guy was saying ''stop, calm down''. Definitely didn't seem like the story she was telling us.

 

Off course they broke up shortly afterwards but yes she was lying the whole time. It was really her the unstable person. None of us have spoken to her since. As for the guy, he's been single since then. She lied about getting abused. Something else that it was confirmed was that sometimes she would followed him as he was trying to leave during their arguments.

Edited by innocentbabe45
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I decided to just stop by one day. What I heard was actually her yelling stuff like ''come back, you disgusting piece of ****'', ''I can tell everyone it was you... blah, blah, I'll just scream and cry'' and ''you know I can do it'' and her laughing. The guy was saying ''stop, calm down''. Definitely didn't seem like the story she was telling us.

 

That must have been really disturbing to witness.

 

You asked, in the title, why she would do that. It sounds as though this was her way of controlling her partner. "You do as I say, or I'll tell other people that you're an abuser." Which, of course, she had already been doing - as she related various tales of him having abused her physically. Dishonestly adopting the role of victim in order to abuse.

 

I think it's a good idea to be wary of people who continually portray themselves as victims within relationships that they seem intent on staying in. Of course there are situations where they might feel unable to leave (fear of what will happen if they do, financial reasons, dependency etc), but it may also be the case that they have a great deal of power in a relationship where they've established themselves as The Victim. Sometimes it can be difficult to know whether somebody in an evidently unhealthy relationship is the abuser, the victim - or a bit of both.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200905/the-line-between-victims-and-abusers

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