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Almost at the edge


babygirl21

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Hey everyone,I have a major problem.I have been physically,emotionally,and mentally abused by my parents.I have been thrown out onto the porch by my hair and kicked afterwards,I have been slapped,held down on the florr where I couldn't breathe,had my hair pulled,and called all kinds of names.I have been looking for a job but I have been unable to find one.I just feel like I'm gonna be stuck in hell for the rest of my life.I don't have license so it makes it even harder to find a job.I stay out in the country and no busses don't come through here.I have even thought about sucide.Sometimes I feel like thats my only option.Can anyone out there give me some type of advice on where I can get help to get out?

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Is there a domestic violence centre for your community? There should be a number for them in your phone book. Or look under social services.

 

Have you got any friends living in the city you could move with?

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I live in North Carolina.Yes there is one but I called them and they said that they didn't have the funding to get people a place to live.And they usually only talk to the women who's husbands abuse them.

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It's times like these that I want to forget I'm a soft-hearted dumpling, and go out and dispense some ass-whippin justice.

 

Have you spoken to the police yet? You must surely have some bruises or scars? Have you got a tape recorder?

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No I don't go to church.There is regular social services but will they help me get a place to stay?I know that they help women get a place to stay that have kids but I don't have any kids.

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They should be your first stop. God, this is heart-rending.

 

Child, get yourself to the social services. They can help you find a job and a place to stay.

 

Just, for moi and I, just don't do anything irresponsible or hurt yourself.

 

IT. AIN'T. WORTH. IT.

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For sure try them. Are you good with kids? Sometimes people need live-in nannies. That way you could live out of your home and earn some money. You can likely find somebody who wants to find a roommate to share accommodation with but you need a job first. Social services should have at least some suggestions on resources in your area. If not, let us know and we'll come up with some more ideas for you.

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Originally posted by Papillon

It's times like these that I want to forget I'm a soft-hearted dumpling, and go out and dispense some ass-whippin justice.

 

Have you spoken to the police yet? You must surely have some bruises or scars? Have you got a tape recorder?

 

Unfortunatley, this hardly does any good anymore....babygirl, your description of being thrown out on the front porch by your hair brought back some horrible memories for me.....

 

My second step-dad owns a fireworks distribution company and has a lot of influence on this town. The day that I left I was 15 years old, and lucky for me, I had already owned my own car from hauling hay in the summers....I know you don't have that luxury, but, here's a description of what happened that day:

 

It was in the middle of November and our step dad was preparing the RV for a Canada fishing trip he takes yearly with his buddies. During the summer my brother and I fish in our spring fed pond on his property. We hand feed the bass and cat fish so they're HUGE!!! Anyway....we had to use the dip net to pull these things into the boat....one of the cat fish we hooked was so huge it pulled the dip net right out of my brother's hand and took off, breaking the line. That dip net was history!!!

 

Anyway....when he was loading the panels of the RV with beer and gear he couldn't find that dip net. He asked me where it was and of course I had to explain to him what happened to it. Man did he get pissed!!! He told me he was going into town for more supplies and that I better have that same dip net there waiting for him when he got back. My own mother made me go down to the pond, strip and dive for the dang thing! It was so cold! After a couple of minutes in that water I couldn't move, my whole body was blue.....I had to stop....so mom and I went back to the house where she prepared me for the beating I was about to receive.....she would tell me things like, "when he punches you don't stiffen up....that'll just cause your bones to break", "Remember to stay limber....your less likely to bounce around that way", "don't bite your lips and keep your tongue behind your teeth" things like that.....I can usually tell when the beatings where going to be severe or light by just the corner coaching I'd get from mom.

 

I could tell this one would be bad. He came home about 2 hours later and called me out to the barn......I prayed like crazy that he'd be kind enough to give me my beating out in the driveway and not inside the barn. But, that didn't happen.....he told me to come to him, he was in the barn, he then asked where the dip net was....I meekly told him I dived for it and couldn't find it.....that's about all I remember conversation wise.....all I could hear him yelling at me as he was throwing me around in the barn but I couldn't understand him....my ears rang loudly ever time he'd smack me upside the head....I hit a couple of chain saws and a piece of plywood with nails tapped into it just enough to hold wrenches.....I knew I was bleeding but I didn't dare look or he'd hit me again and I wouldn't know where approximatley I would land and where to put my hands to break my fall....

 

After about what seemed 20 minutes, I was so out of it I couldn't put my arms down....they were locked in a position mimicking the act of carrying a box. He screamed at me to put them down....I don't know why, he just did...and I couldn't....it was like my arms wouldn't obey me. Then that's when he clobbered me a good one....all 113 lbs of me spun around and I landed lifeless on my back. That was all I remember until I woke up and saw the Sheriff's car in the drive. What my sister told me was my step dad met him at the patrol bar. They where talking and my step dad invited him in. When they went inside my mom woke me up enough to get me inside and got me a wet rag with ice in it to put on my nose. I could tell it was broke again....(I got to know when my nose was truly broke and when it was just bruised).

 

Anyway, to spare anymore details, the sheriff left and shortly after, so did my step dad. Apparently my step dad talked him into letting him drive himself down to the station to fill out paperwork on it.

 

As soon as I was able to talk my legs into supporting me again, I asked my mom to help me get some things together....that I couldn't take anymore and no matter what she said or did, I was leaving....she did! I was shocked....my little brother and my two sisters even helped me....and we fought constantly....it was like they knew I had to get out of there or I was dead meat. My little sister was in more danger, she was the one who sneaked out and called the sheriff. None the less...it was time for me to go.....and I never, EVER stepped foot in his house again.

 

I went to stay with a friend and her parents graciously took me in....took me to the ER and I got my fourth nose cast.....kids at shool were used to making fun of me...they all thought I was going through some sort of ongoing plastic surgery....

 

I finished high school on my own, bouncing from friends house to friends house.....I made it and you can too....they're were some times where it was rough and I wound up boiling eggs in a aluminum can I cut in half...but I never had a doubt that I wouldn't go back...and I didn't.

 

You have to get out. You have to have a friend with understanding parents....noone needs to go through this....you're 21.....you need to get out of the nest anyway.....find a friend that'll take you in and give you rides to pick up some applications, then back and forth to once you find a job and then build rapport with your co workers, hitch a ride back and forth with one of them....eventually earn enough to be self sufficient....

 

Talk to your friends and let them know first hand that you'll need time to get on your feet and get out...please.....

 

Good luck to you and keep us posted.....I did this, lived, and I have a fantastic life....if I can do this, you can too....believe in yourself!!!!

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Thanks Pap.....I've been told that I should write a book.....I still may do just that if I knew it'll get published.

 

I'm just so grateful that it happened to me and noone else that I know personally. Sometimes I feel blessed that it did...I truly believe it made me a stronger person.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Originally posted by babygirl21

Hey everyone,I have a major problem.I have been physically,emotionally,and mentally abused by my parents.I have been thrown out onto the porch by my hair and kicked afterwards,I have been slapped,held down on the florr where I couldn't breathe,had my hair pulled,and called all kinds of names.I have been looking for a job but I have been unable to find one.I just feel like I'm gonna be stuck in hell for the rest of my life.I don't have license so it makes it even harder to find a job.I stay out in the country and no busses don't come through here.I have even thought about sucide.Sometimes I feel like thats my only option.Can anyone out there give me some type of advice on where I can get help to get out?

 

You must do almost anything you can to get away from your family.

Get far away. Be very convincing in how bad the abuse is. Say that is been ongoing for long time and you are too scared to go at all to the police.

Take action now.

Oh and screw any abuse service org that won't help you because youre not a battered wife.

 

Give me a break. Youre being abused by the people who gave you life and have total control over you !

 

You had no choice. If you like post the name of the place that rejected you and Ill get them in hot water.

 

I hope that some of the following places can aid you. :bunny:

 

Family Abuse Services

PO Box 2192

Burlington, NC 27215

Office: (336) 226-5982

Crisis: (336) 226-5985

Fax: (336) 226-5902

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Susan Kane

 

Domestic Violence Resource Center

PO Box 652

Taylorsville, NC 28681

Office: (828) 635-8850

Crisis: (828) 635-8881

Fax: (828) 635-8841

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Ingrid Townsend

 

Domestic Abuse is Not Acceptable (DANA)

PO Box 1643

Sparta, NC 28675

Office : (336) 372-3262

Fax: (336) 372-7705

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Lee Cornett

 

A Safe Home for Everyone (A.S.H.E)

PO Box 1827

West Jefferson, NC 28694

Office: (336) 982-8851

Crisis: (336) 219-2600 (Sheriff’s Dept.)

Fax: (336) 982-8860

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Debbie Richardson

 

Hope Harbor Home, Inc.

PO Box 230

Supply, NC 28462

Office: (910) 755.7248

Crisis: (910) 754-5856

Fax: (910) 754-9049

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Cathy Swaim

 

Sunshine Transitional Programs, Inc.

5140 Sellers St., Ste. 2

Shallotte, NC 28470

Office: (910) 579-5908

Fax: (910) 842-5241

Email: [email protected]

Web Site: http://www.sunshinetranstitions.org

Contact: Lynn Carlson

 

Options

PO Box 2512

Morganton, NC 28680

Office: (828) 438-9444

Crisis: (828) 438-9444

Fax: (828) 437-0323

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Leighann Briggs

 

Shelter Home of Caldwell County

PO Box 426

Lenoir, NC 28645

Office: (828) 758-0888

Crisis: (828) 758-0888

Fax: (828) 758-8949

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Deborah Teeters

 

Coastal Women's Shelter

PO Box 13081

New Bern, NC 28561

Office: (252) 638-4509

Crisis: (252) 638-5995

Fax: (252) 638-1298

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Bridget Richardson

 

My Sister's House

PO Box 7665

Rocky Mount, NC 27804-0665

Office: (252) 462-0366

Crisis (toll free): (888) 465-9507

Crisis (local): 459-3094

Fax: (252) 462-0555

Email: [email protected]

Web Site: click here

Contact: Meredith Holland

 

Shelter of Gaston County

330 N. Marietta St.

Gastonia, NC 28052

Office: (704) 866-3826

Crisis: (704) 852-6000

Fax: (704) 852-6004

Website: http://www.co.gaston.nc.us/shelter

Email: [email protected].nc.us

Contact: Cathy B.Cloninger

 

Fifth St. Shelter Ministries

C/O My Sister’s House

PO Box 5217

Statesville, NC 28687

Office: (704) 872-4045

Crisis: (704) 872-3403

Fax: (704) 873-3319

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Dr. Gary West/Patti West

 

Wesley Shelter

PO Box 1426

Wilson, NC 27894

Office: (252) 291-2344

Crisis: (252) 291-2344

Fax: (252) 291-1436

Email: [email protected]

[email protected]

Contact: Kim Gauss

Web Site: http://www.wesleyshelter.org

 

 

OASIS

PO Box 1591

Boone, NC 28607

Office: (828) 264-1532

Crisis: (828) 262-5035 or for area codes: 828,336,423 call (800) 268-1488

Fax: (828) 264-1538

Email: [email protected]

Web Site: http://www.oasisinc.org

Contact: Suzette Patterson

 

Helping Hands

PO Box 938

Warrenton, NC 27589

Office: (252) 257-6781

Crisis: (252) 257-6781

Fax: (252) 257-6782

Email: helpinghands@nc.rr.com

Contact: Gwen Tunstall

 

Surry Women’s Shelter

PO Box 738

Dobson, NC 27017

Office: (336) 386-9657

Crisis: (336) 386-8078

Fax: (336) 386-9659

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Linda Shew

 

Steps To Hope, Inc.

PO Box 518

Columbus, NC 28722

Office: (828) 894-2340

Crisis (toll free): (888) UHAVEHOPE

Fax: (828) 894-3044

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Rachel Ramsey

 

Inter-Faith Council Project Homestart

2505 Homestead Rd.

Chapel Hill, NC 27514

Office: (919) 932-6025

Crisis (toll free): (866) 929-7122

Fax: (919) 929-8649

Email: [email protected]

 

Domestic Violence Shelter & Services

PO Box 1555

Wilmington, NC 28402

Office: (910) 343-0703

Crisis (toll free): (800) 672-2903

Fax: (910) 343-9388

Email: [email protected]

[email protected]

Contact: Mary Ann Lama

 

UFS- The Shelter for Battered Women

PO Box 220312

Charlotte, NC 28222

Office: (704) 332-2513

Crisis: (704) 332-2513

Fax: (704) 332-5403

Email: [email protected]

Contact: Jane Taylor

Web Site: http://www.unitedfamilyservices.org

 

 

Haven

160 Charlotte Ave.

PO Box 3191

Sanford, NC 27331

Office: (919) 774-8923

Crisis: (919) 774-8923

Fax: (919) 775-7114

Email: [email protected] [email protected]

Contact: Tammy Yarborough

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