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what is considere verbal abuse


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what do people consider verbal abuse is. My mother and sister think my husband verbal abused me and are children, calls us stupid at times and that i am to fat to have sex with anymore, judges everything i do to my job to my friends

 

He has never hit me, but seen him hit are children over the head cuz they where yelling or talking to loud. tells are children there are days we have to so call walk on egg shells around him. Please let me know what people think what abuse could be.

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pitprincess

Just my Opinion here

 

Abuse is what you have been put through~

No one has to hit you in order for it to be called abuse.

There are several different types of abuse and you and your children from your post have been Abused.

 

NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT CALLING YOU ANYTHING OR HITTIN YOU OR YOUR BABIES!!!

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I thank you very much for your opinion, you really touch my heart with the little phrase "your babies"like my mom tells me your children are always your babies no matter how big or how old they maybe. Again thank you very much for your fast response

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pitprincess

Your welcome. If you are being abused you should reach out for help in getting this matter stopped :)

I love my babies and if your like me you will do what ever it takes to keep them safe from harms way :):)

 

You take care and God Bless you :)

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MollyBloom

Dear Mistie,

 

 

I had read your post yesterday, and I had it in the back of my mind. I wanted to say something to encourage you, to let you know that you can find the strength to stand up and do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your little ones.

I was researching St. John's Wort on Google when I stumbled across a website about verbal abuse. I instantly thought of you. The "mascot" of the site is an adorable kitten named Trubble. I thought that it might lift your spirits while helping you to help youself. Here is the link: http://www.drirene.com/index.asp

 

 

Remember that God is always very close, no matter what.

 

 

Wishing you the best,

 

 

MollyBloom

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thank you both for your wonderful responds, i have talked to my mother and father on this issue with my husband and my mother keeps telling that my father would never talk like to her or us (me and my sister) there is times i sit back on think it isn't really that bad there he doen't hit me and tries his best to support his family, but this past weekend was something else i really don't want my daughters to listen to all that yelling.

 

Also i really don't know life with out him we have together for 11 years and married 8years i was with him since i was 17 years old and he was 25, like every one we have a past together, but like i said some of those days we are walking on egg shells around him.

 

I am one of those people who like to hear complaments once in awhile, he just never opens his eyes and look. I spent all day last week cleaning the carpet, moved every thing out, and i get it is about time some one cleaned that carpet, not hey that looks nice, just little things like that. Sorry i am just going on and on here,but just wanted to say thank you to pitprinces and mollybloom for both of your advice it really meant alot. and also good bless you both

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I had to reply to your post because I want you to know that if you are even thinking that what he is doing is abuse then it is. No one deserves it and we as women have to make sure that it is known that we will not tolerate it. I will share a story with you on how it affects children and yourself.

 

I have never been in an abusive relationship because I stopped it from happening. About 8 years ago, I had gained a lot of weight and was working really hard to take it off and once my ex-fiance said to me "What, you want people to know that I have a fat fiance" Well, my response was "What, becareful, because not only will I get rid of the fat but I will get rid of you too!!"

Well, let's just say that he never, I mean never said another mean thing to me. Now, I did do what I said...I got rid of the fat and him (do to other issues).

 

What I'm saying is that people treat us the way we let them. If we let our partners, co-workers, siblings, anyone treat us with disrespect that is exactly what we will continue to get. And you don't want your daughters seeing that the most important person (you) in their lives is being treated badly. They will grow up and think it is okay for men to degrade them and maybe even worse let them hit them. Let me give you an example:

 

My father was very abusive to my sisters and I (my mother passed away when I was 9) and he was not only verbally abusive (told us that we were the 2nd worst mistake in his life, marrying my mother was the first (I still remember that and he said it when I was 10, I'm 28 now)) he also physically abused us (he would hit us with boards or anything that was near or we would have to stand in front of him so that he could kick us). For years we took the abuse because we didn't know that we had a choice and one day he got on top of my twin and started to strangle her, I screamed at him till he got off and later I found my sister trying to kill herself. I called a family friend for help and children's service got involved and my dad has never said another mean word or hit us since. We where 16 at the time, we had spent 6 years of being scared to make a mistake, really being scared to live. All we wanted was someone to rescue us but our mother wasn't alive anymore and we were too scared to tell people because we thought the abuse would get worse. Now we have forgave our father a long time ago and he's wonderful to us but it still affects our lives and our relationships with men.

 

My sister was recently in a verbal abuse relationship with a man. Never complimented her, always told her what she should be doing and how he wanted her to do it. Called her names, fat (not true) and would tell her that he would take out her ankles so that she wouldn't be able to walk. He was mean and she took it. She's very intelligent and has a great job and her life in order but for some reason she wouldn't listen to us (even my dad) when we would tell her to leave. He finally beat her and told her that he dared her to try to make it to the door (We didn't know about this till later). She still stayed another week till they fought again and she said that she wasn't going to go over there to be hit. He said "Fine then, it's over". Unbelievably she wanted him back because she was use to the abuse. Thankfully he didn't take her back. Anyways, she has spent months trying to get over this year relationship but atleast she knows now that she didn't deserve to be beat and more thankfully, God protected her and she didn't end up dead because of him.

 

She read these books and they helped her...The Emotionally Abused Woman, Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself by Beverly Engel, MFCC and The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to recognize it and how to respond by Patricia Evans.

 

I hope these books help you and I know I was long and shared painful stories but I want you to realize just how important it is to make sure that you protect yourself and your girls. I wish you the best and I will say a prayer for you.

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pitprincess

Your welcome.

 

Some Men tend to think because you put up with it you will keep putting up with it.

 

They forget the little things like....

WE have a heart soul and a mind :):):)

 

Good Luck to you :):):):) and... take care of them babies!!! :):):):)

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MollyBloom

PitPrincess,

 

 

I just want to say that I think you're adorable! I'm 17, and I've lived in the Carolinas all of my life. The older I get, the prouder I am for being Southern, a true GRITS (for all of you that live above the Mason-Dixen line, that stands for Girl(s) Raised in the South). If I was a betting' girl :laugh:, I'd bet that you'll give strangers a warm smile and never hesitate to call someone "hun" or "shug". I always love reading your down-to-earth advice. I just wanted to let you know that you're exactly the type of person that I aspire to become. :D

 

 

Love,

 

 

MollyBloom

 

P.S.

Who's your favorite driver?

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pitprincess

Thank you sweets :):):)

You sure know how to make a person smile when needing one :):):)

 

I live in the country and have all my life, I guess it was the way I was raised.

I have always been told that I have a warm heart and I open it to everyone.

 

You asked who is my favorite racer? Nascar- Dale Jr- Tony Stewart both :)

I get alot of people questioning me about that.. lol

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