LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Mind, Body & Soul > Abuse

Her crazy ex is out to get me!


Abuse Support for and discussion of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse.

Like Tree1Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 6th April 2012, 5:21 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
Unhappy Her crazy ex is out to get me!

Hi guys.

I have met this girl about 6 months ago... She was single for about 4 months... I made sure of this through her great friends.... She is the best and never stoped smiling and to be honest we have fallen madly in love... 1 problem !!! Her crazy *lebo ex boyfriend started messaging her a whole ago calling her a slut and all that and threatening me... We broke up for a week but couldn't do it and got back together... He has gone to her house and beat her up so he can find out who I am, even though he already knows who I am..she would *be over mine and get a message or a call with all the names and abuse and threats and she retaliates and then he turns and she has to go to answer to him... This week has been the worst... He made her delete me from Facebook and add him do he can see that she has no contact with me... She can't come here I can't go there cos he will come and" make me eat through a straw" and kill her... I said it was over today... I can't handle it anymore... I can't see her be hurt anymore... *Now this guy is a true crazy !!! He has been in trouble in the past, always in fights and has a lot of friends that will do anything for him..He is from a bad suburb in Melbourne... He is true trouble... We can't go police as the repercussions would be dire for her and me.... She doesn't tell me things cos she is scared for me...and she has never told him that we have been together in fear he will kill her and me. I told her once to say we are together and she did and I honestly feared for my life when people started calling me saying to keep low... I am descent , good job raise an 8 year old who loves her too , stayed away from all this drama 34 *years never disrespectful to girls nad fiercly loyal and have been single for 2 years..I have asked mutual friends and they also say to stay away... *I think he just has it in for me cos he thought they were " just on a break" *yet he was out partying with girls the whole time..*
Please help...
*I'm in love with this girl....
I want her but I can't do it like this anymore..
He shouldn't be going over, abusing , beating, threatening her or me...
She was with me
I want to help her but don't know where to start..*
Fear is killing her
Burnoutblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 5:24 AM   #2
Established Member
 
darkmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,768
go to the police - this is what they are there for - or do you /girlfriend secretly like the drama and thrills?
darkmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 6:14 AM   #3
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
I have thought of doing that and have asked her why she doesn't?? Restraining order anything really.... She says the repercussions would be really bad... I asked friends also... That said to just get out before I get hurt... These people are dangerous.... I mean I can look after myself but if I did I would have people out to get me in a big way... I have heard stories bout him.. Guns, drugs, beatings... And they always seem to get off lightly and then the person who " went police" has been severely punished or had to hide away...?? He is very possessive... As a man I feel like I should confront him but I to am afraid... And it's killing me inside...
Burnoutblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 6:15 AM   #4
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
And trust me we are both homely people with kids... The thrills waking has been gone a while now....
Burnoutblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 6:17 AM   #5
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
I want to move away with her to get her away from all this but it seems like he knows how to find people... In the nth suburbs he knows everyone
Burnoutblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 6:17 AM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Working on a clear blue summer sky, at BuddhaDhammaSangha
Posts: 22,843
Hasn't it occurred to either one of you that what her ex- is doing, is breaking the law?
assault, threatening behaviour... please - this is a ridiculous matter...

If an assault had happened to me, the first thing I would have done was to report it!
If she's stopping you, or saying she doesn't want to report it, you have to wonder why.
Maybe people will put her bruises and facial wounds down to you... ever thought of that?
Because if he's assaulting her and beating her up - then there is physical evidence of that, right?
TaraMaiden is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 7:01 AM   #7
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
If we go police I fear for our lives honestly... These guys follow the "jail" rule... If your a rat yourngonna get it... Even if he went to jail we would the have to deal with his friends.... They have weapons.. And are not afraid to use them.... They are bullies on the biggest scale....
Burnoutblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 7:06 AM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Working on a clear blue summer sky, at BuddhaDhammaSangha
Posts: 22,843
now i know you're being ridiculous.

i don't believe a word of this.
Like gangs would give a damn about a girl he had dumped.
please give me a break.
either there is more to this than meets the eye - drug running, prostitution, guns - or this is trolling.

If he kills her, you'll be an accessory to murder because there was something you could have done - and didn't.


Call the police and don't be so damn stupid.
TaraMaiden is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 8:08 AM   #9
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
They are a gang perse, say I went and beat him up... His friends will come do something to me... Say I go police again after I cop the consequences from him or friends... They are big with the revenge thing... All think they are tony montana....
I know I should go police... But she begs me not to because she fears later what will happen...
Imagine something really bad happens to her or me later on... As a result...??? Sorry for not being believable but this is true around here... I bed to get out!! I need to take my son away now... No place to raise a child...
Burnoutblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2012, 2:04 PM   #10
Established Member
 
LuckyLady13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 550
Burnoutblue, you have to do your best to calm down a few notches.

You are right and your girlfriend is right. You call the cops on someone like this and there are consequences.

My ex-boyfriend was just like hers. I got the guts to call the cops and you know what happened? He got out. And got more angry. I call the cops again and he gets out again and shows up at my house with a knife to stab me! Calling the cops only slowed him down temporarily. And the cops told me if I get a restraining order, it's only going to get him more mad at me and he'll see that as a challenge to get to me. They said I could do it if I wanted to but that piece of paper will not save my life if he puts a bullet in my head.

I moved THREE TIMES in six months! He kept finding me. Eventually what happened was I called the cops again (it got so old) and he tried to kill a cop to avoid getting arrested. FINALLY the cops got so mad about that situation they locked him up for a while.

So my thinking is you guys have to hide out for a while. People like this guy obsess and obsess and don't want to let someone go. The cops can't be with you 24/7 anyway so you can't rely on them, even if they would lock this guy up for a long time. Cops aren't reliable in these situations and neither are judges.

It will take a while for this guy to find someone else to obsess over. When he does, it will be like your girlfriend never existed to him! But until then, he's a serious danger to not only her but you and the kids!

You have a child to protect and being that you know you can't rely on the cops, you have to do your best on your own to protect your child.

And as far as this guys friends helping him out? I could never figure out why after I dumped my ex, his buddies were always with him when he was trying to find me, obsessing over me, trying to kill me, chasing me down and beating up and threatening my friends.

Like...who wants to hang out with some guy who's obsessed with his ex all day every day? But there apparently are people who have no lives or something and tag along for the excitement?

I say call the police but then you're going to have to hide out. I mean that. He's going to get out and he'll want revenge but if you just keep up with it, eventually he's going to step over the line with the cops or something the way my ex did and get himself locked up for a long time.

You need to have a record with authorities as to what he's doing. No, this will not protect you but eventually when the charges start piling up, he's gotta get put in jail and stay there for a while. The judge and the cops will get real sick of seeing him and dealing with him. When he starts being a real pain for them, then they will finally do something.

If this guy is as dangerous as my ex, find somewhere to hide out and if he finds you, move again! And keep up with calling the police and reporting everything he's doing.
LuckyLady13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2012, 11:59 PM   #11
Established Member
 
CopingGal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: the state of confusion
Posts: 1,899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnoutblue View Post
They are a gang perse, say I went and beat him up... His friends will come do something to me... Say I go police again after I cop the consequences from him or friends... They are big with the revenge thing... All think they are tony montana....
I know I should go police... But she begs me not to because she fears later what will happen...
Imagine something really bad happens to her or me later on... As a result...??? Sorry for not being believable but this is true around here... I bed to get out!! I need to take my son away now... No place to raise a child...
I believe you and I feel for you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I think you and your son should get away and start a new life. Leave her behind. You are not being stupid. You are scared. Yes, he could do something to her after you go to the cops. That's the reality of it. Sorry, so sorry to say this...but this is HER problem. Take your son, go away and start a new life without her.
__________________
A person's good looks and charm cannot take the place of kindness, respect, honesty, and decency. Date someone for the right reasons. Don't excuse ongoing disrespect. Use your head when you date.
CopingGal is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Crazy Ex/Crazy Me/Anxiety/Insecurity/GIGS/Avoidence/One great big mess -WHAT?! tipsyleprachauns Breaks and Breaking Up 11 21st February 2012 7:53 AM
crazy situation.. but love is crazy sometimes rite?? jamiedd Breaks and Breaking Up 1 17th November 2010 6:18 AM
Am I being played? Am I crazy or is she crazy? (kind of long) GuybrushThreepwood Dating 10 11th March 2010 6:10 PM
Girls may be crazy....but boys are stupid.....and I'm pretty sure they made us crazy. North Shore Breaks and Breaking Up 14 8th May 2005 5:46 PM
CRAZY UPDATE to my crazy situation with dumper ex! What the hell!?!?! Forget About Her Second Chances 1 2nd April 2005 4:33 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:03 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.