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Cluster B Personality Disorders


CopingGal

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So many times, people are abused by others who have dominant Cluster B personality disorder traits. Even if they don't have the disorder, the traits are strong enough to ruin relationships because of the psychological abuse these people inflict. I studied psychology and did not even realize I was dating a Cluster B person because of all the lies he told to me. I couldn't see it. After we broke up, the act was over and the lies unraveled. That, added with what the couple's counselor told me, made so many things much more clearer.

 

Take a look at Cluster B:

 

Cluster B Personality Disorders - What are the Cluster B Personality Disorders

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Believe me, never again will I ever date anyone with Cluster B dominant personaity traits.

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I don't see the relevance in labeling some one cluster B. It would be best to avoid any one who lies/cheats and disrespects you to your core whether they have a personality disorder or not.

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Feelin Frisky

This gave me cause to go look up the other "clusters" and no wonder the term "cluster f__k".

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Believe me, never again will I ever date anyone with Cluster B dominant personaity traits.

 

May I ask how long you were involved with him?

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May I ask how long you were involved with him?

 

She was in the relationship off and on for three years being cheated on.

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  • 2 months later...
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May I ask how long you were involved with him?

 

 

Sorry, it took so long to respond. I didn't know someone had asked me a question. I was with him off and on for three years.

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I don't see the relevance in labeling some one cluster B. It would be best to avoid any one who lies/cheats and disrespects you to your core whether they have a personality disorder or not.

 

 

Cluster B is a particular group of personality disorders. Some people lie and cheat. But people in cluster B are worse, the traits they have are very, very difficult to deal with and they are enduring. Someone may lie and cheat. But a person in cluster B, let's say who has Antisocial Personality Disorder will lie so much, lie about anything, use people, have no remorse, and may get pleasure out of causing someone pain, won't take responsibility for actions, manipulative, and so much more. It's worse that a "regular" person who just lies or cheats. All or that, plus abusive. My ex never hit me. He was passive aggressive towards me and abused me psychologically.

Edited by CopingGal
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  • 1 month later...

Hi CopingGal.

 

I recently had a "breakthrough" of mind and realised that, my now ex, has the strongest traits of a sociopath, which falls into cluster B disorders (Antisocial Personality Disorder, most likely, or/and Narcissistic)

 

I can give you 250 stories on every trait that lists as a symptom.

 

@Nightsky Your point is valid, yet people with personality disorders as copingGal pointed out, are not your normal, next door liars. They're good. They're really really good. They make you end up not being able to believe what is reality anymore.

 

They use you till there's nothing left and then throw you away cause you do not interest them anymore, then continue strong on to the next "victim".

 

Im really happy i got out of that relationship and had my breakthrough. Its like a fog was lifted off my head.

Edited by Capris
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They are very attractive though, because they have such a strong support for their own version of reality that your own reality folds into theirs, they draw you in.

 

Some of the qualities that make natural leaders.

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Good for you. Sorry you went through so much.

 

Yeah, when you are in a relationship with someone who is sociopathic or extremely narcissitic , it really is like being in a fog. You have NO idea how much you have been manipulated until you leave them, take a step back and then look at everything. I celebrate the day I left my ex tomorrow- July 15th.

 

In the future, I'm going to read books so that if I ever meet someone like that again, I will stay away. I need to recognize the symptoms while the relationship is till early.

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They are very attractive though, because they have such a strong support for their own version of reality that your own reality folds into theirs, they draw you in.

 

Some of the qualities that make natural leaders.

 

I read that there are several jobs that attract sociopaths. One of them was CEOs.

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Don't forget politicians.

 

Funny enough, my country is atm in the midst of a Constitutional Crisis brought on by someone who is trying to save the ass of a former communist secret service general from jail, and which if born just a few decades earlier would have made for a fine Dictator.

His own mother a few yrs back had him see a doctor and gave an interview where she said he was nuts.

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They are very attractive though, because they have such a strong support for their own version of reality that your own reality folds into theirs, they draw you in.

 

Some of the qualities that make natural leaders.

 

Funny thing is, i always told my ex that he makes a great leader...

 

They do suck you in. They make it all about them. Even when you realise it and try to change it, they somehow drive you out of that mindset again.

I found it weird that every time i was about to take a decision about my life, something occured. Some accident, some pity play, something.

 

Thing is, i saw his lies and confronted him with them. He either yelled and i hate yelling people or spoke calmly and convienced me or, one of the best moves, didnt answer at all. Let me assume. When a persons in love, assuming on his own, isnt such a good idea. Specially, when i suffer from OCD.

OCD+Sociopathy=disaster. I doubt everything to begin with, So when he let me just assume (and he did catch on to this), i always came to this point of thinking: "either he is a marvelous man, or a monster. He cant be a monster, so im just doubting him"...etc etc...

 

Horrible.

After all this, the first reaction is to feel stupid, once you realise what a fool you were. Thing is, i feel relieved. I wasnt crazy! Im angry with him, no doubt, but i feel strong. I learned a really good lesson and its ok.

 

 

Good for you. Sorry you went through so much.

 

Yeah, when you are in a relationship with someone who is sociopathic or extremely narcissitic , it really is like being in a fog. You have NO idea how much you have been manipulated until you leave them, take a step back and then look at everything. I celebrate the day I left my ex tomorrow- July 15th.

 

In the future, I'm going to read books so that if I ever meet someone like that again, I will stay away. I need to recognize the symptoms while the relationship is till early.

 

Thanks!

Did you also , somehow, knew it from the beginning? When i was with him, i always said that i lost my "instinct". Of course, i blamed my OCD about it, but it turns out, it was him to blame. But when i recall the days before we got together, i remember telling a friend abou him and how i made fun of his "followers", who knew i would turn into one of his best doggies....

 

Good for you to celebrate the day you left!!

If you find any more interesting articles, feel free to share!

 

It feels good to talk to other people who went through the same!

 

Take care!

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Why did you maintain a relationship with someone who exhibited those traits?

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Why did you maintain a relationship with someone who exhibited those traits?

 

Cause, apparantley, i have issues of my own.

Besides that though, if he was a normal liar, i would be long gone. The thing with these type of people is that at first they fall for you 100%. They make promises, they say things "out of this world". They build a secure feeling for you, you're their soulmate, their other half etc etc..

 

Once things start to "collapse" you still keep those first few months or years in mind, conviencing oyurself that it cant be a lie. Your feelings, cant be a lie, regardless of his. he makes you fall for him like no other person before. its not only about what he tells you, but about what you feel. And after the manipulation, you feel quite strongly, trust me.

 

Once you're in that fog, you cant distinguish reality from his reality. He's (or she) got you wrapped around his finger.

Its one thing to listen to a story like this and another thing to expirience it, that i can tell you.

ive talked to people who've had bad relationships and gave them the best of advice. When it comes to these type of people though, its tough. Theya are super good liars and can convience even the smartest.

 

Being in this forum, you can track my posts. I was in an affair with this guy. yes, now thats a stupid move. For that decision in my life, i feel really stupid. For the rest, although someone might say its easy for me to blame him and call him a sociopath, its not like that. He truely is the real deal. Ive been in a relationship with a jerk and it lasted only 3 months. Plain jerks are easy to spot and dump.

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Im trying to find an article i read about what type of people are more likely to fall for a sociopath.

 

I just remembered one thing my ex told me about his new gf....."you know how many friends she has?....none!!"...he said that so enthusiastically, as if it was a good thing...

 

Gonna go search for the article.

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"Below are the traits most commonly attributed to a sociopath’s target. Every person is inherently different, and that includes each target and the traits that are most pronounced in the individual. An individual would definitely not need any of these traits to be preyed upon.

 

This is not an attempt to diagnose anyone.

 

Shyness

Difficulty communicating

A lack of self confidence

Wanting to please

A belief that if you love enough the person will change

A belief that if you love enough the relationship will succeed

Difficulty establishing and maintaining boundaries

Not being able to say no

Being easily influenced by others

Wanting to be rescued from your life situation

Wanting to rescue others from their distress

Being over nurturing particularly when not asked

Feelings of shame and self doubt

Low self-esteem

A lack of memories about childhood or periods of adulthood

A lack of motivation from within and being motivated by others"

 

 

 

 

I had most of them.

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Why did you maintain a relationship with someone who exhibited those traits?

 

Because they're married. Kind of hard to get out of that.

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Not wishing to sound trite at all, but these traits in sufficient combination are considered to be disorders because of the difficulties they create in relationships between the subject and others (or indeed with themselves.) So it's a bit of a truism to say people with PDs are difficult to relate with: People who have difficulties relating with others (beyond a certain degree) are considered to have PDs.

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Cause, apparantley, i have issues of my own.

Besides that though, if he was a normal liar, i would be long gone. The thing with these type of people is that at first they fall for you 100%. They make promises, they say things "out of this world". They build a secure feeling for you, you're their soulmate, their other half etc etc..

 

Once things start to "collapse" you still keep those first few months or years in mind, conviencing oyurself that it cant be a lie. Your feelings, cant be a lie, regardless of his. he makes you fall for him like no other person before. its not only about what he tells you, but about what you feel. And after the manipulation, you feel quite strongly, trust me.

 

Once you're in that fog, you cant distinguish reality from his reality. He's (or she) got you wrapped around his finger.

Its one thing to listen to a story like this and another thing to expirience it, that i can tell you.

ive talked to people who've had bad relationships and gave them the best of advice. When it comes to these type of people though, its tough. Theya are super good liars and can convience even the smartest.

 

Being in this forum, you can track my posts. I was in an affair with this guy. yes, now thats a stupid move. For that decision in my life, i feel really stupid. For the rest, although someone might say its easy for me to blame him and call him a sociopath, its not like that. He truely is the real deal. Ive been in a relationship with a jerk and it lasted only 3 months. Plain jerks are easy to spot and dump.

 

There's a few things in this that make me believe you are still prone to being upset by a similar encounter.

 

For instance, you talk about "his reality and reality" which I took to mean you believe your emotional reality is definitive, universal: The One True reality. Which it is, for you, but we all have our own emotional truth.

 

Second, there's a lot of blame in the way you write: you call yourself names for being part of an extramarital affair, and you call him a liar, sociopath and so on. He has his own story, it's yours I'm interested in right now. If you can get beyond calling yourself names or blaming yourself, and find out what compelled you to do what you did, I think you'll grow as a person.

 

You also talk about how him saying this, that or the other made you feel secure, yet what was actually happening was not very secure at all. Being in an affair is quite an insecure relationship, but by merely hearing certain things, you felt secure in it. Who knows if he believed what he said? Maybe he did at the time. Maybe he was lying. It doesn't matter right now. What is interesting to me is that it affected you so. Words, and feelings, come and go. Everyone makes mistakes, and we can learn from them (which, for people considered to have PDs, is frequently difficult, ironically).

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Cluster B are Cluster F'cks. Harmful. These are your prince charmings in disguise. If you allow them in, they will slowly erode you from the inside, until you are left as empty of a shell as they are, EXCEPT, they do not have the capacity to care or have empathy to the destruction they have caused.

There empty shell remains intact, while yours is left cracked, and slowing little shards are peeled away, if lucky, you can rebuild yourself, and at times, it may only be possible to recover.

The only way I see to rebuild in a healthy manner is to stay away from any dating, stay away from looking for anyone to save you other then yourself and therapy.

Cluster B F'cks are always your, 'too good to be fellow,' I say fellows, because mostly males fall under this category if I have it correct, this is the NPD, sociopath etc. category.

The female category are the histrionics, borderlines, not sure if this is Cluster B, and it is widely a misconception of who exactly where this subgroup lies. These females usually dominate a large group of friends, they are very manipulative as well, and hide themselves well within their posse.

They will destroy any female who does not adore them, or is a follower, and if their imaginary enemy happens to be attractive AND intuitive, intuitive meaning can see right through their fakeness and charm, and is not a follower, unique, they will do everything in their power to ostrasize them.

There are occassions that these deceptive females, while once the leader, once thought to be a wonderful being, if life hashes them out a few difficulties, a mania like phenomenom occurs and there shell starts to crumble, and their friends and others see the 'real' person, and it isn't pretty.

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"Below are the traits most commonly attributed to a sociopath’s target. Every person is inherently different, and that includes each target and the traits that are most pronounced in the individual. An individual would definitely not need any of these traits to be preyed upon.

 

This is not an attempt to diagnose anyone.

 

Shyness

Difficulty communicating

A lack of self confidence

Wanting to please

A belief that if you love enough the person will change

A belief that if you love enough the relationship will succeed

Difficulty establishing and maintaining boundaries

Not being able to say no

Being easily influenced by others

Wanting to be rescued from your life situation

Wanting to rescue others from their distress

Being over nurturing particularly when not asked

Feelings of shame and self doubt

Low self-esteem

A lack of memories about childhood or periods of adulthood

A lack of motivation from within and being motivated by others"

 

 

 

 

I had most of them.

 

Capris, you do not have to have all those characteristics to become a victim to a sociopath, half of those are secondary to being under their influence. These men can fool many. Many are hard to spot, unless you become very close to them.

I have found that the best way to spot these characters, a little too late for you and I, is matching their smile to there eye reactions. These men, my have the most charismatic smile, but the eyes do not match up to the smile. A group picture of such a man smiling with many others smiling, you would be astonished of how different their eyes look compared to the others.

Their smile is captivating, their charm is captivating, the eyes dead. A smile is easy to fake, you cannot control your pupil and iris reaction.

I was with someone like this for years. I hope you are okay knowing this now, and are able to drop your love for the snake and start taking care of yourself.

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There's a few things in this that make me believe you are still prone to being upset by a similar encounter.

 

For instance, you talk about "his reality and reality" which I took to mean you believe your emotional reality is definitive, universal: The One True reality. Which it is, for you, but we all have our own emotional truth.

 

Second, there's a lot of blame in the way you write: you call yourself names for being part of an extramarital affair, and you call him a liar, sociopath and so on. He has his own story, it's yours I'm interested in right now. If you can get beyond calling yourself names or blaming yourself, and find out what compelled you to do what you did, I think you'll grow as a person.

 

You also talk about how him saying this, that or the other made you feel secure, yet what was actually happening was not very secure at all. Being in an affair is quite an insecure relationship, but by merely hearing certain things, you felt secure in it. Who knows if he believed what he said? Maybe he did at the time. Maybe he was lying. It doesn't matter right now. What is interesting to me is that it affected you so. Words, and feelings, come and go. Everyone makes mistakes, and we can learn from them (which, for people considered to have PDs, is frequently difficult, ironically).

 

Thank you for your reply and concern.

You are right, that i may be still prone to another encounter. Thank god, this one hasnt made a serious move again yet. Anything that he has tried to do (anger manipulation, Knight in shining armor acts etc) ive dealt with them ok and didnt link them to any feeling he might have for me. A month ago, id be falling for him again.

 

 

About calling me names..Well, i dont feel good about the affair, although at that time it felt "right" as if what we felt for each other was true. I did feel guilty back then too, dont get me wrong, but it was like .."justified"? To be honest, i did not know and still dont, what came over me when i was agreeing to the affair. I had no idea what i was getting in to. I was blinded by love. I did love him truely, as for him, maybe he did too, doesnt matter now. It felt real, so i can only assume it was at that time.

Your advise about searching what makes me blame and call me names and him too, is good. I will try to dig that up, thanks!

 

 

When i differ reality from his reality, i mean it literally. He had this world made out for me and if he saw i was budging even an inch, he'd place me back in it. He had all these stories and excuses for everything. "Coincidences" were high too. For example, he could not call me and id go crazy and everytime something happened, like an accident, trouble at home, but it was always "serious". Im writing this regarding the nature of the relationship, meaning, i do take note that sometimes, some things were true, but im talking about the times where his absence was truely un excusable, yet an "accident" always occured. Last thing about "his reality" and "reality" ( general reality,facts, not emotions)...last couple of weeks that im not buying his lies and confronting him with them and actually standing my guards, i drove him to a point where he said "from now on, you will believe whatever i say", as if he's some sort of magician or something. It was always everyone elses fault, never his. If a common friend said something about what they did the other night, he could call them all liars just to cover up his behaviour.

 

I hope i made sense.

 

About me feeling secure, apparantly, i needed to. Maybe whoever made me feel that way at that time, would be my "one and only". Like i said, i do have my own issues. Depression, OCD, weird lack of confidence yet too confident on specific subjects etc.

 

This whole thing affected me and still does a bit, cause i loved him and maybe still do, but more like a problematic brother or friend. I invested in him. I was sure that we'd make a great couple if we had the chance. He said the same. Then, when he needed something else (aka new girl), he threw me away like a wrapper, cheated on me (once a cheater...) and kept me again, on the side, "just in case". He broke up with me, then kissed me and said he loved me, kept me confused for months, when he was really in a new relationship. By the way, he still tells me that he is not in a relationship, even when ive met this girl, ive seen them kiss, ive heard them call each other cute nicks and "my love" and she's sleeps over. Still, he tells me its nothing.lol.

When i asked for at least an apology, he claimed he has done absolutely nothing wrong, cause that would make him an a***h*** and he is not one....

 

 

So yes, it affects me. I dont care about the past lies too much, ive find my balance on those. But now that my mind is clear, i cant stand his lies. Also, this may have to do with OCD, as i have the "need" of the truth and i cant stand when something appears to be one way, yet claims another.

 

In this new relationship, he's doing the same he has done to every girl, including me. Moving too fast, using her and her money/status. Have to say, thank god i didnt have any money so he can exploit, yet he did even with small amounts.

 

Thanks again for your reply, good advice.

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