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Old 21st January 2019, 3:11 AM   #1
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Mods, you CAN be criticized.

Finally making a post about something that has ticked me off for ages. The moderators on this site.

Before you ban me, hear this out with an open mind - for some reason, mods here on LoveShack have developed the mentality that they are above anyone on this site, simply because they have the "ban" button available.

Here is an example, one that made me create this thread:
There was/is (she's been quiet recently) a woman on this site who was dealing with a cheating partner, as her thread carried on, you got an idea of how toxic that woman is. To herself, the people around her, and her two children (the little ones were pre-teen, if I remember correctly). She was called out for it. William personally posted on that thread, prohibiting any comments about the children who were clearly in a very poor environment, because "it did not fit with the topic". Later on, as the comments about the children carried on, William posted again, this time being very aggressive for whatever reason. Who made the first comment about the children confronted him about it, saying something along the lines of "Why so aggressive, the kids are put in a horrible situation, I have decided to support them".

That person was banned. The commenter had asked to keep that post up because A) There was nothing aggressive/insulting in that specific post and B) It was an opinion C) People get quite rude here very often, but the moment you criticize a mod, it's bad? Well, guess what, the post was deleted. As was another person's post, who agreed with the original commenter. Including their correspondence.

That was just one example. With a quick Google search, you can see multiple people in different forums, complaining about the moderation on this one. Specifically the unnecessary banning, mods killing threads by editing/deleting comments that don't need it and so on. I have ended up baffled by the mods here multiple times, it's ridiculous.

I love this site. I love the idea of it, it is lovely to see the people come together, helping each other. It's a shame the moderators tend to be so full of themselves.

So, again. Let me spell it out for you.

Mods, you C A N be criticized. Like everyone else.
William, dear. I know you're very proud of being a busy person and attending this site on your lunch breaks only. But that doesn't put you above others. We all have lives.
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Old 21st January 2019, 4:59 AM   #2 Moderator Moderator
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Publicly challenge a moderator, get moderated or banned. That's how it goes. There's no secret about that. Been like that for years, way back to Tony moderating. There's a private message system and the 'alert us' button. Every member knows where they are and how to use them.

Like this public shot, which I'll leave for the other moderators to look at and decide for themselves, you just gotta make a public message. OK, you did. Mission accomplished. Congratulations.
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Old 21st January 2019, 5:43 AM   #3
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I personally think that moderators are doing a great job and they actually care about people being bullied and personally attacked. I have been on this site long enough to know. Im really glad to see a bunch of bullying regulars banned a long time ago - good riddance.

People come on here when they are down and in need of support. They dont want to be piled on or have their problems used as fuel for cruel jokes and banter.
"Vision without execution is hallucination. Thomas Edison
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Old 21st January 2019, 7:58 AM   #4 Moderator Moderator
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I went back and looked at the thread in question and the person who was banned that is now posting from their alter account and who created this thread took on moderation in the open forum and they were quite rude and actually asked to be banned so moderation complied.

This thread is an example of the type of trouble they gave moderation.

It's always been against the rules to fight with moderation in the open forum, and just so people know we get taken on all the time via PM. Those don't normally end in a ban since it didn't happen in the open forum.

You cannot let a forum operate if the posting membership is allowed to roll over moderation and the rules of the site.
This place would be a mess with all the pandemonium that would take place.

There must always be some sort of order since the trouble makers would take over in a heartbeat and then the bullying would be the norm here.
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Old 21st January 2019, 11:37 AM   #5
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I guess my reply would be an outsider insight because am not a long time poster here but I know about moderation, ( been a moderator on several sites since 17 yo - still one on a good friends site) and I think the mods here seem fair and fairly lenient considering some nasty stuff I've read on here to people joining and asking for a kind ear ( so to speak) to read their woes whatever it may be. I prefer - one strike - you are out mindset nowadays, because people do not need tough love off strangers, maybe if you get to know that person over months and become friendly then sure but right out the gate, stranger to stranger, um hell no. So I think everyone gets a chance to do better but like I said you step over good taste that is one, if you overstepped again you'd be removed... and they do not seem to do that on here. So to me extremely fair.
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Old 21st January 2019, 11:57 AM   #6
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There are people on forums who have to have the last word in any disagreement. When they get banned, they run to other sites and criticize the moderators. I guess that satisfies their need.
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Old 21st January 2019, 12:03 PM   #7 Moderator Moderator
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Here's what Paul provides as a listed sanction:

Contacting Posts or threads that challenge moderators' decisions will be deleted
Hundreds if not thousands of members have received that sanction over the decades since the moderation system has been in place. They receive such sanctions privately and moderation doesn't name names publicly nor publish any personally identifiable information about members since Paul has directed us to retain member privacy and anonymity to the greatest degree possible.

After I'm gone I trust the moderation team will continue to work to make the forums here a welcoming place for all points of view on the topics under discussion. All that should occur is one vote will be gone. Four votes remain. It's a collaborative effort.

Robert covered the other stuff. No surprise to me since I was doxxed here awhile back with no less than two dozen usernames using my real life information. The same members did similar to Paul and he had to fix the database and delete those accounts after the site outage. That's reality. Stay safe out there!
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Old 21st January 2019, 12:12 PM   #8
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Interesting. I never knew the moderators got so bombarded with PM’s. That stinks. I’m not always crazy about their decisions - say if a comment of mine gets deleted - but I just shrug and move on. I figure they have more insight on the matter than I do.
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Old 21st January 2019, 9:30 PM   #9
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Haven't spoken to any moderators in a very long time but back in the day I pursued a few disagreements through PM and I'm still here. Haven't found them to be overly draconian or anything.

I think a lot of people get highly emotional in the infidelity section and it causes them to do things that get them in trouble. Maybe typing in almost pure acronyms can make you crazy or something but that seems to be the root of most of the bitching and complaining I read on the review sites and in threads like this.
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Old 21st January 2019, 10:02 PM   #10
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While I sometimes disagree with moderation on here, there's a couple of things to keep in mind:

- It is a private site...just like being at somebody's yard party, in the end they make the rules. You can only shout about it so much before you get disinvited. You know...America and liberty and stuff.

- This IS the internet after all. Things happen, people get nasty. There's only so much time I want to spend arguing with people I don't see in real life. I take the forum for what it is - an interesting cross-section of opinions. Sometimes amusing, sometimes enlightening, sometimes exasperating. But it is still the internet. Real life takes priority, so this isn't something I'm going to stress about.

- You can always take a break. People have short memories. If you find yourself in a conflict, you can leave the site for a while. Come back in 2-3 weeks and the whole thing is over. Besides, less screen time is good for mental health, right?
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