to say whats on your mind, or not.. that is the question

[xLOPES]

i was just wondering, if it was better, when talking about the beginning of relationships, hopefully when successful, if it would be better to speak exactly whats on your mind, or hiding what you think, when talking to that special someone.

 

??

i just dont know

[superconductor]

Most men have to be extremely careful about opening up too soon, if at all. Like it or not, when a guy opens up to a woman, she most often sees this as a sign of weakness. Women will deny this, of course, but any perceived weakness on the part of the male will cause her to second-guess the relationship. It may not happen today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next week, but it will happen.

 

I speak from bitter personal experience here, and from more than a few years of trying to figure this one out.

[Island Girl]

Do not open up and share feelings, etc. That comes slowly and after a while. Best way to keep her is to keep her guessing. You can throw out a couple, "I had a good time"s but don't open your mouth and talk yourself into going to deep too fast.

 

Guys that 'share' are always the best thing in the world in the beginning. The girl goes "awwwww" but subconsciously she's putting her tennis shoes on so she can RUN away.

 

We don't want needy. We say we want a sensitive man - but that is not true. Men don't know how immediately to be sensitive, share emotions, etc. It is not natural and you shouldn't do it. You come off as clingy and needy. There are a select few who can pull it off and not get stomped on but it is too risky to attempt. And if you are asking here, you don't know how.

 

Emotion should be shared only after there is an established relationship for a while. The strong man who has a gentler side you have to get to know is incredibly attractive. Don't share in public either.

 

In fact the best way to tell her how you feel is by actions NOT words. Do not tell her just do something special for her. No sappy weak words, just a bubble bath and her favorite wine.

 

When you do feel you have to say something play it cool. A little bit goes a long way. Let her gush at you - don't gush back.

 

If you are talking about likes and dislikes -- not feelings (it wasn't clear) then say whatever you want. Talk about whatever you want. That'll help you figure out how truly great she is for you anyway.