WhyYouWanna Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I haven't been her for some time, but if you remember my situation with my ex and now again girlfriend, please bear this in mind. Just lately my girlfriend has had no affection for me in her what so ever. She's in a new job as a care worker at a private old people's home, and she works 12 hour, stress full long shifts. She is rarely "kissy and cuddly" with me and it's always on me, and sex is just rediculous. We're both 18 and we're lucky if it happens once a fortnight. We don't go around eachother's houses often usually due to one thing and other, but it's really starting to get to me because I'm thinking, I'm 18, I love this girl, she loves me, but this is just boring. We have a good time together, but just lately she shows me no love. We went out with some of another couple (my friends), who aren't affectionate at all (and she feels about her boyfriend as I do about my girlfriend), and when we left the resturaunt, I went to put my arm around her and she quietly moved it and said "but they're not" in other words because they were distant she didn't want me to put my arm around her. I'm really sick of it, and every time I say anything, she's never bothered about it and is snappy with me or is "too tired to argue". What on earth do I do? I'm starting to wish I'd never got back with her, but then again, if I say that she's "not bothered... do it if you have to." Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Sounds like she's no longer interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I think you really need to sort your feelings out, is this girl really worth it? I am going through the same situation with my boy friend at the moment. Ask her if she still wants to be with you, if she says yes then you know she must love you, if she says no, the truth hurts but at least you would know. If this girl loves you, then she will want to be with you, if her answer is " i don't know" then maybe ask her for a break, its then up to you to decided weather you want a permanent break or just a few weeks apart. This may help you both realise what you have and not want to lose. I know its hard and i know exactly what your going through Hope this advice is useful to you x Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhyYouWanna Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 Thanks for the replies, we see eachother most days, and when she's in the mood, she's in the mood (like she's said to go around her tonight so we have better time together), but it's usually when I initiate it (which would be all the time if I knew I'd get it!). She says she doesn't like me being full on all the time, but I thought that's how 18 year olds where? It's like she's saying "only when I say, and no other time". Link to post Share on other sites
HeyYouGuys Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I really can't handle people who don't show affection. Talk to her openly and bluntly about how lonely and empty the relationship feels. If she can't discuss it reasonably, your relationship may really be in trouble. Make sure she knows that. Being stressed and tired all the time can really affect how people behave, but it's still no reason to neglect the people in your life. Ask her if you can both take a long weekend off together and go somewhere alone. Maybe some time away from work and some open communication will help. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Start pampering her abit. BOTH of you go for professional massages, sit in a hottub together...I'm sure a nice Spa day would make her feel happy and special...=Sex for you! Sometimes life gets in the way...But those times when life gets crazy is when you gotta make special efforts to keep the flame going in the relationship. It's TOO easy to rollover, say goodnight and go to sleep. Making more effort to bring back the romance, sex and affection is something both of you should talk about. Be honest and tell her how you feel! How it makes you feel that you're the one putting the energy in and she's not giving it back to you. Hopefully things will get better with some talking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhyYouWanna Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 Thanks for the replies guys She had the day off today, and spent a lot of it asleep catching up because she was tired, and I must say she was in a much better mood a much more affectionate We are looking to go away, but again due to her work, I doubt we can go for a week, but we'll definately be going in October abroad for the first time and hopefully a few week go away somewhere for a few days. I'm definately going to try harder, but it's like I told her, the less affectionate and "in to me" she is, the less I want to try harder, therefore she's less affectionate and "into me" and less I... ok you know where this is going Suppose I'm just going to have to grab this by the horns and be the one to stop the circle Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 You can't change people...EVER. So, instead of being unhappy, go find someone else. Just like a job, people require different things to be happy in a relationship like initimacy, respect, companionship and sex. You need to find someone who has similar needs as you or you will NEVER be happy. What she needs from relationships in simply to not be alone, she doesn't require affection. Many women are this way. They are just in relationships so they are not "single". Once they find someone better they are gone, and leave the guy feeling like he didn't measure up. LEAVE HER, DON'T WASTE ANOTHE SECOND. Don't talk to her about it. People DO NOT change. You will be unhappy forever. I hope you are not paying her bills in any way shape or form. God if you are, you are being totally used... Link to post Share on other sites
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